Jonathan Swift. Gulliver’s travels into several remote nations of the world, Свифт Джонатан, Год: 1726

Jonathan Swift. Gulliver's travels into several remote nations of the world






THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER.


 [As given in the original edition.] 
 The author of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my ancient 
 and intimate friend, there is likewise some relation between us on 
 the mother's side. About three years ago, Mr. Gulliver growing 
 weary of the concourse of curious people coming to him at his 
 house in Redriff, made a small purchase of land, with a 
 convenient house, near Newark, in Nottinghamshire, his native 
 country, where he now lives retired, yet in good esteem among his 
 neighbours. 
 Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his 
 father dwelt, yet I have heard him say his family came from 
 Oxfordshire, to confirm which, I have observed in the churchyard 
 at Banbury in that county, several tombs and monuments of the 
 Gullivers. 
 Before he quitted Redriff, he left the custody of the following 
 papers in my hands, with the liberty to dispose of them as I should 
 think fit. I have carefully perused them three times. The style is 
 very plain and simple, and the only fault I find is, that the author, 
 after the manner of travellers, is a little too circumstantial. There 
 is an air of truth apparent through the whole, and indeed the 
 author was so distinguished for his veracity, that it became a sort. 
 of proverb among his neighbours at Redriff, when any one 
 affirmed a thing, to say, it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had 
 spoken it. 
 By the advice of several worthy persons, to whom, with the 
 author's permission, I communicated these papers, I now venture 
 to send them into the world, hoping they may be, at least for some 
 time, a better entertainment to our young noblemen, than the 
 common scribbles of politics and party. 
 This volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not 
 made bold to strike out innumerable passages relating to the 
 winds and tides, as well as to the variations and bearings in the 
 several voyages, together with the minute descriptions of the 
 management of the ship in storms, in the style of sailors, likewise 
 the account of longitudes and latitudes, wherein I have reason to 
 apprehend, that Mr. Gulliver may be a little dissatisfied. But I was 
 resolved to fit the work as much as possible to the general 
 capacity of readers. However, if my own ignorance in sea affairs 
 shall have led me to commit some mistakes, I alone am 
 answerable for them. And if any traveller hath a curiosity to see 
 the whole work at large, as it came from the hands of the author, I 
 will be ready to gratify him. 
 As for any further particulars relating to the author, the reader will 
 receive satisfaction from the first pages of the book. 
 RICHARD SYMPSON 



A LETTER FROM CAPTAIN GULLIVER TO HIS COUSIN SYMPSON. WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1727.


 I hope you will be ready to own publicly, whenever you shall be 
 called to it, that by your great and frequent urgency you prevailed 
 on me to publish a very loose and uncorrect account of my travels, 
 with directions to hire some young gentleman of either university 
 to put them in order, and correct the style, as my cousin Dampier 
 did, by my advice, in his book called 'A Voyage round the world.' 
 But I do not remember I gave you power to consent that any thing 
 should be omitted, and much less that any thing should be 
 inserted, therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce every thing 
 of that kind, particularly a paragraph about her majesty Queen 
 Anne, of most pious and glorious memory, although I did 
 reverence and esteem her more than any of human species. But 
 you, or your interpolator, ought to have considered, that it was not 
 my inclination, so was it not decent to praise any animal of our 
 composition before my master HOUYHNHNM: And besides, the 
 fact was altogether false, for to my knowledge, being in England 
 during some part of her majesty's reign, she did govern by a chief 
 minister, nay even by two successively, the first whereof was the 
 lord of Godolphin, and the second the lord of Oxford, so that you 
 have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise in the account 
 of the academy of projectors, and several passages of my. 
 discourse to my master HOUYHNHNM, you have either omitted 
 some material circumstances, or minced or changed them in such 
 a manner, that I do hardly know my own work. When I formerly 
 hinted to you something of this in a letter, you were pleased to 
 answer that you were afraid of giving offence, that people in 
 power were very watchful over the press, and apt not only to 
 interpret, but to punish every thing which looked like an 
 INNUENDO (as I think you call it). But, pray how could that 
 which I spoke so many years ago, and at about five thousand 
 leagues distance, in another reign, be applied to any of the 
 YAHOOS, who now are said to govern the herd, especially at a 
 time when I little thought, or feared, the unhappiness of living 
 under them? Have not I the most reason to complain, when I see 
 these very YAHOOS carried by HOUYHNHNMS in a vehicle, as 
 if they were brutes, and those the rational creatures? And indeed 
 to avoid so monstrous and detestable a sight was one principal 
 motive of my retirement hither. 
 Thus much I thought proper to tell you in relation to yourself, and 
 to the trust I reposed in you. 
 I do, in the next place, complain of my own great want of 
 judgment, in being prevailed upon by the entreaties and false 
 reasoning of you and some others, very much against my own 
 opinion, to suffer my travels to be published. Pray bring to your 
 mind how often I desired you to consider, when you insisted on 
 the motive of public good, that the YAHOOS were a species of 
 animals utterly incapable of amendment by precept or example: 
 and so it has proved, for, instead of seeing a full stop put to all. 
 abuses and corruptions, at least in this little island, as I had reason 
 to expect, behold, after above six months warning, I cannot learn 
 that my book has produced one single effect according to my 
 intentions. I desired you would let me know, by a letter, when 
 party and faction were extinguished, judges learned and upright, 
 pleaders honest and modest, with some tincture of common sense, 
 and Smithfield blazing with pyramids of law books, the young 
 nobility's education entirely changed, the physicians banished, the 
 female YAHOOS abounding in virtue, honour, truth, and good 
 sense, courts and levees of great ministers thoroughly weeded and 
 swept, wit, merit, and learning rewarded, all disgracers of the 
 press in prose and verse condemned to eat nothing but their own 
 cotton, and quench their thirst with their own ink. These, and a 
 thousand other reformations, I firmly counted upon by your 
 encouragement, as indeed they were plainly deducible from the 
 precepts delivered in my book. And it must be owned, that seven 
 months were a sufficient time to correct every vice and folly to 
 which YAHOOS are subject, if their natures had been capable of 
 the least disposition to virtue or wisdom. Yet, so far have you been 
 from answering my expectation in any of your letters, that on the 
 contrary you are loading our carrier every week with libels, and 
 keys, and reflections, and memoirs, and second parts, wherein I 
 see myself accused of reflecting upon great state folk, of 
 degrading human nature (for so they have still the confidence to 
 style it), and of abusing the female sex. I find likewise that the 
 writers of those bundles are not agreed among themselves, for 
 some of them will not allow me to be the author of my own 
 travels, and others make me author of books to which I am wholly 
 a stranger.. 
 I find likewise that your printer has been so careless as to 
 confound the times, and mistake the dates, of my several voyages 
 and returns, neither assigning the true year, nor the true month, 
 nor day of the month: and I hear the original manuscript is all 
 destroyed since the publication of my book, neither have I any 
 copy left: however, I have sent you some corrections, which you 
 may insert, if ever there should be a second edition: and yet I 
 cannot stand to them, but shall leave that matter to my judicious 
 and candid readers to adjust it as they please. 
 I hear some of our sea YAHOOS find fault with my sea-language, 
 as not proper in many parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my 
 first voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest 
 mariners, and learned to speak as they did. But I have since found 
 that the sea YAHOOS are apt, like the land ones, to become new-fangled 
 in their words, which the latter change every year, 
 insomuch, as I remember upon each return to my own country 
 their old dialect was so altered, that I could hardly understand the 
 new. And I observe, when any YAHOO comes from London out 
 of curiosity to visit me at my house, we neither of us are able to 
 deliver our conceptions in a manner intelligible to the other. 
 If the censure of the YAHOOS could any way affect me, I should 
 have great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to 
 think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and 
 have gone so far as to drop hints, that the HOUYHNHNMS and 
 YAHOOS have no more existence than the inhabitants of Utopia.. 
 Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of LILLIPUT, 
 BROBDINGRAG (for so the word should have been spelt, and 
 not erroneously BROBDINGNAG), and LAPUTA, I have never 
 yet heard of any YAHOO so presumptuous as to dispute their 
 being, or the facts I have related concerning them, because the 
 truth immediately strikes every reader with conviction. And is 
 there less probability in my account of the HOUYHNHNMS or 
 YAHOOS, when it is manifest as to the latter, there are so many 
 thousands even in this country, who only differ from their brother 
 brutes in HOUYHNHNMLAND, because they use a sort of 
 jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their amendment, and not 
 their approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be 
 of less consequence to me, than the neighing of those two 
 degenerate HOUYHNHNMS I keep in my stable, because from 
 these, degenerate as they are, I still improve in some virtues 
 without any mixture of vice. 
 Do these miserable animals presume to think, that I am so 
 degenerated as to defend my veracity? YAHOO as I am, it is well 
 known through all HOUYHNHNMLAND, that, by the 
 instructions and example of my illustrious master, I was able in 
 the compass of two years (although I confess with the utmost 
 difficulty) to remove that infernal habit of lying, shuffling, 
 deceiving, and equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very souls of 
 all my species, especially the Europeans. 
 I have other complaints to make upon this vexatious occasion, but 
 I forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely 
 confess, that since my last return, some corruptions of my. 
 YAHOO nature have revived in me by conversing with a few of 
 your species, and particularly those of my own family, by an 
 unavoidable necessity, else I should never have attempted so 
 absurd a project as that of reforming the YAHOO race in this 
 kingdom: But I have now done with all such visionary schemes 
 for ever. 
 APRIL 2, 1727. 



 * PART I. A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT * 




CHAPTER I.


 [The author gives some account of himself and family. His first 
 inducements to travel. He is shipwrecked, and swims for his life. 
 Gets safe on shore in the country of Lilliput, is made a prisoner, 
 and carried up the country.] 
 My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the third of 
 five sons. He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge at 
 fourteen years old, where I resided three years, and applied myself 
 close to my studies, but the charge of maintaining me, although I 
 had a very scanty allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, 
 I was bound apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon in 
 London, with whom I continued four years. My father now and 
 then sending me small sums of money, I laid them out in learning 
 navigation, and other parts of the mathematics, useful to those 
 who intend to travel, as I always believed it would be, some time 
 or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I went down to 
 my father: where, by the assistance of him and my uncle John, and 
 some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of thirty 
 pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden: there I studied physic 
 two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long 
 voyages.. 
 Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my 
 good master, Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain 
 Abraham Pannel, commander, with whom I continued three years 
 and a half, making a voyage or two into the Levant, and some 
 other parts. When I came back I resolved to settle in London, to 
 which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged me, and by him I was 
 recommended to several patients. I took part of a small house in 
 the Old Jewry, and being advised to alter my condition, I married 
 Mrs. Mary Burton, second daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton, 
 hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four hundred 
 pounds for a portion. 
 But my good master Bates dying in two years after, and I having 
 few friends, my business began to fail, for my conscience would 
 not suffer me to imitate the bad practice of too many among my 
 brethren. Having therefore consulted with my wife, and some of 
 my acquaintance, I determined to go again to sea. I was surgeon 
 successively in two ships, and made several voyages, for six 
 years, to the East and West Indies, by which I got some addition to 
 my fortune. My hours of leisure I spent in reading the best 
 authors, ancient and modern, being always provided with a good 
 number of books, and when I was ashore, in observing the 
 manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their 
 language, wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my 
 memory. 
 The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary 
 of the sea, and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. 
 I removed from the Old Jewry to Fetter Lane, and from thence to. 
 Wapping, hoping to get business among the sailors, but it would 
 not turn to account. After three years expectation that things 
 would mend, I accepted an advantageous offer from Captain 
 William Prichard, master of the Antelope, who was making a 
 voyage to the South Sea. We set sail from Bristol, May 4, 1699, 
 and our voyage was at first very prosperous. 
 It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader 
 with the particulars of our adventures in those seas, let it suffice to 
 inform him, that in our passage from thence to the East Indies, we 
 were driven by a violent storm to the north-west of Van Diemen's 
 Land. By an observation, we found ourselves in the latitude of 30 
 degrees 2 minutes south. Twelve of our crew were dead by 
 immoderate labour and ill food, the rest were in a very weak 
 condition. On the 5th of November, which was the beginning of 
 summer in those parts, the weather being very hazy, the seamen 
 spied a rock within half a cable's length of the ship, but the wind 
 was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and 
 immediately split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let 
 down the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the ship and 
 the rock. We rowed, by my computation, about three leagues, till 
 we were able to work no longer, being already spent with labour 
 while we were in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the 
 mercy of the waves, and in about half an hour the boat was overset 
 by a sudden flurry from the north. What became of my 
 companions in the boat, as well as of those who escaped on the 
 rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell, but conclude they 
 were all lost. For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and 
 was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often let my legs drop,. 
 and could feel no bottom, but when I was almost gone, and able to 
 struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth, and by this 
 time the storm was much abated. The declivity was so small, that I 
 walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which I conjectured 
 was about eight o'clock in the evening. I then advanced forward 
 near half a mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or 
 inhabitants, at least I was in so weak a condition, that I did not 
 observe them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and the heat of 
 the weather, and about half a pint of brandy that I drank as I left 
 the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the 
 grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than 
 ever I remembered to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned, 
 about nine hours, for when I awaked, it was just day-light. I 
 attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for, as I happened to lie 
 on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly fastened on 
 each side to the ground, and my hair, which was long and thick, 
 tied down in the same manner. I likewise felt several slender 
 ligatures across my body, from my arm-pits to my thighs. I could 
 only look upwards, the sun began to grow hot, and the light 
 offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise about me, but in the 
 posture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time I felt 
 something alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently 
 forward over my breast, came almost up to my chin, when, 
 bending my eyes downwards as much as I could, I perceived it to 
 be a human creature not six inches high, with a bow and arrow in 
 his hands, and a quiver at his back. In the mean time, I felt at least 
 forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I 
 was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all 
 ran back in a fright, and some of them, as I was afterwards told,. 
 were hurt with the falls they got by leaping from my sides upon 
 the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of them, who 
 ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his 
 hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but 
 distinct voice, HEKINAH DEGUL: the others repeated the same 
 words several times, but then I knew not what they meant. I lay all 
 this while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness. At 
 length, struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the 
 strings, and wrench out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the 
 ground, for, by lifting it up to my face, I discovered the methods 
 they had taken to bind me, and at the same time with a violent 
 pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings 
 that tied down my hair on the left side, so that I was just able to 
 turn my head about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second 
 time, before I could seize them, whereupon there was a great 
 shout in a very shrill accent, and after it ceased I heard one of 
 them cry aloud TOLGO PHONAC, when in an instant I felt above 
 a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, which, pricked me 
 like so many needles, and besides, they shot another flight into the 
 air, as we do bombs in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on 
 my body, (though I felt them not), and some on my face, which I 
 immediately covered with my left hand. When this shower of 
 arrows was over, I fell a groaning with grief and pain, and then 
 striving again to get loose, they discharged another volley larger 
 than the first, and some of them attempted with spears to stick me 
 in the sides, but by good luck I had on a buff jerkin, which they 
 could not pierce. I thought it the most prudent method to lie still, 
 and my design was to continue so till night, when, my left hand 
 being already loose, I could easily free myself: and as for the. 
 inhabitants, I had reason to believe I might be a match for the 
 greatest army they could bring against me, if they were all of the 
 same size with him that I saw. But fortune disposed otherwise of 
 me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged no 
 more arrows, but, by the noise I heard, I knew their numbers 
 increased, and about four yards from me, over against my right 
 ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at 
 work, when turning my head that way, as well as the pegs and 
 strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected about a foot and a 
 half from the ground, capable of holding four of the inhabitants, 
 with two or three ladders to mount it: from whence one of them, 
 who seemed to be a person of quality, made me a long speech, 
 whereof I understood not one syllable. But I should have 
 mentioned, that before the principal person began his oration, he 
 cried out three times, LANGRO DEHUL SAN (these words and 
 the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me), 
 whereupon, immediately, about fifty of the inhabitants came and 
 cut the strings that fastened the left side of my head, which gave 
 me the liberty of turning it to the right, and of observing the 
 person and gesture of him that was to speak. 
 He appeared to be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other 
 three who attended him, whereof one was a page that held up his 
 train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger, 
 the other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted 
 every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of 
 threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I 
 answered in a few words, but in the most submissive manner, 
 lifting up my left hand, and both my eyes to the sun, as calling. 
 him for a witness, and being almost famished with hunger, having 
 not eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found 
 the demands of nature so strong upon me, that I could not forbear 
 showing my impatience (perhaps against the strict rules of 
 decency) by putting my finger frequently to my mouth, to signify 
 that I wanted food. The HURGO (for so they call a great lord, as I 
 afterwards learnt) understood me very well. He descended from 
 the stage, and commanded that several ladders should be applied 
 to my sides, on which above a hundred of the inhabitants mounted 
 and walked towards my mouth, laden with baskets full of meat, 
 which had been provided and sent thither by the king's orders, 
 upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was 
 the flesh of several animals, but could not distinguish them by the 
 taste. There were shoulders, legs, and loins, shaped like those of 
 mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the wings of a 
 lark. I ate them by two or three at a mouthful, and took three 
 loaves at a time, about the bigness of musket bullets. 
 They supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand marks 
 of wonder and astonishment at my bulk and appetite. I then made 
 another sign, that I wanted drink. They found by my eating that a 
 small quantity would not suffice me, and being a most ingenious 
 people, they slung up, with great dexterity, one of their largest 
 hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top, I 
 drank it off at a draught, which I might well do, for it did not hold 
 half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy, but much 
 more delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I 
 drank in the same manner, and made signs for more, but they had 
 none to give me. When I had performed these wonders, they. 
 shouted for joy, and danced upon my breast, repeating several 
 times as they did at first, HEKINAH DEGUL. They made me a 
 sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first 
 warning the people below to stand out of the way, crying aloud, 
 BORACH MEVOLAH, and when they saw the vessels in the air, 
 there was a universal shout of HEKINAH DEGUL. I confess I 
 was often tempted, while they were passing backwards and 
 forwards on my body, to seize forty or fifty of the first that came 
 in my reach, and dash them against the ground. But the 
 remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the 
 worst they could do, and the promise of honour I made them--for 
 so I interpreted my submissive behaviour--soon drove out these 
 imaginations. Besides, I now considered myself as bound by the 
 laws of hospitality, to a people who had treated me with so much 
 expense and magnificence. However, in my thoughts I could not 
 sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, 
 who durst venture to mount and walk upon my body, while one of 
 my hands was at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so 
 prodigious a creature as I must appear to them. After some time, 
 when they observed that I made no more demands for meat, there 
 appeared before me a person of high rank from his imperial 
 majesty. His excellency, having mounted on the small of my right 
 leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his 
 retinue, and producing his credentials under the signet royal, 
 which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten minutes 
 without any signs of anger, but with a kind of determinate 
 resolution, often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found, 
 was towards the capital city, about half a mile distant, whither it 
 was agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I. 
 answered in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with 
 my hand that was loose, putting it to the other (but over his 
 excellency's head for fear of hurting him or his train) and then to 
 my own head and body, to signify that I desired my liberty. It 
 appeared that he understood me well enough, for he shook his 
 head by way of disapprobation, and held his hand in a posture to 
 show that I must be carried as a prisoner. However, he made other 
 signs to let me understand that I should have meat and drink 
 enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more 
 thought of attempting to break my bonds, but again, when I felt 
 the smart of their arrows upon my face and hands, which were all 
 in blisters, and many of the darts still sticking in them, and 
 observing likewise that the number of my enemies increased, I 
 gave tokens to let them know that they might do with me what 
 they pleased. Upon this, the HURGO and his train withdrew, with 
 much civility and cheerful countenances. Soon after I heard a 
 general shout, with frequent repetitions of the words PEPLOM 
 SELAN, and I felt great numbers of people on my left side 
 relaxing the cords to such a degree, that I was able to turn upon 
 my right, and to ease myself with making water, which I very 
 plentifully did, to the great astonishment of the people, who, 
 conjecturing by my motion what I was going to do, immediately 
 opened to the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent, 
 which fell with such noise and violence from me. But before this, 
 they had daubed my face and both my hands with a sort of 
 ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which, in a few minutes, 
 removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances, added 
 to the refreshment I had received by their victuals and drink, 
 which were very nourishing, disposed me to sleep. I slept about. 
 eight hours, as I was afterwards assured, and it was no wonder, for 
 the physicians, by the emperor's order, had mingled a sleepy 
 potion in the hogsheads of wine. 
 It seems, that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on 
 the ground, after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by 
 an express, and determined in council, that I should be tied in the 
 manner I have related, (which was done in the night while I slept,) 
 that plenty of meat and drink should be sent to me, and a machine 
 prepared to carry me to the capital city. 
 This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and 
 I am confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on 
 the like occasion. However, in my opinion, it was extremely 
 prudent, as well as generous: for, supposing these people had 
 endeavoured to kill me with their spears and arrows, while I was 
 asleep, I should certainly have awaked with the first sense of 
 smart, which might so far have roused my rage and strength, as to 
 have enabled me to break the strings wherewith I was tied, after 
 which, as they were not able to make resistance, so they could 
 expect no mercy. 
 These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a 
 great perfection in mechanics, by the countenance and 
 encouragement of the emperor, who is a renowned patron of 
 learning. This prince has several machines fixed on wheels, for 
 the carriage of trees and other great weights. He often builds his 
 largest men of war, whereof some are nine feet long, in the woods 
 where the timber grows, and has them carried on these engines. 
 three or four hundred yards to the sea. Five hundred carpenters 
 and engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the 
 greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three 
 inches from the ground, about seven feet long, and four wide, 
 moving upon twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the 
 arrival of this engine, which, it seems, set out in four hours after 
 my landing. It was brought parallel to me, as I lay. But the 
 principal difficulty was to raise and place me in this vehicle. 
 Eighty poles, each of one foot high, were erected for this purpose, 
 and very strong cords, of the bigness of packthread, were fastened 
 by hooks to many bandages, which the workmen had girt round 
 my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs. Nine hundred of the 
 strongest men were employed to draw up these cords, by many 
 pulleys fastened on the poles, and thus, in less than three hours, I 
 was raised and slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I 
 was told, for, while the operation was performing, I lay in a 
 profound sleep, by the force of that soporiferous medicine infused 
 into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor's largest horses, 
 each about four inches and a half high, were employed to draw me 
 towards the metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant. 
 About four hours after we began our journey, I awaked by a very 
 ridiculous accident, for the carriage being stopped a while, to 
 adjust something that was out of order, two or three of the young 
 natives had the curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep, 
 they climbed up into the engine, and advancing very softly to my 
 face, one of them, an officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his 
 half-pike a good way up into my left nostril, which tickled my 
 nose like a straw, and made me sneeze violently, whereupon they. 
 stole off unperceived, and it was three weeks before I knew the 
 cause of my waking so suddenly. We made a long march the 
 remaining part of the day, and, rested at night with five hundred 
 guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half with bows 
 and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next 
 morning at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within 
 two hundred yards of the city gates about noon. The emperor, and 
 all his court, came out to meet us, but his great officers would by 
 no means suffer his majesty to endanger his person by mounting 
 on my body. 
 At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient 
 temple, esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom, which, 
 having been polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, 
 was, according to the zeal of those people, looked upon as 
 profane, and therefore had been applied to common use, and all 
 the ornaments and furniture carried away. In this edifice it was 
 determined I should lodge. The great gate fronting to the north 
 was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide, through which 
 I could easily creep. On each side of the gate was a small window, 
 not above six inches from the ground: into that on the left side, the 
 king's smith conveyed four-score and eleven chains, like those 
 that hang to a lady's watch in Europe, and almost as large, which 
 were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over 
 against this temple, on the other side of the great highway, at 
 twenty feet distance, there was a turret at least five feet high. Here 
 the emperor ascended, with many principal lords of his court, to 
 have an opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not 
 see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred thousand. 
 inhabitants came out of the town upon the same errand, and, in 
 spite of my guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten 
 thousand at several times, who mounted my body by the help of 
 ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued, to forbid it upon 
 pain of death. When the workmen found it was impossible for me 
 to break loose, they cut all the strings that bound me, whereupon I 
 rose up, with as melancholy a disposition as ever I had in my life. 
 But the noise and astonishment of the people, at seeing me rise 
 and walk, are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left leg 
 were about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of 
 walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but, being fixed 
 within four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at 
 my full length in the temple.. 



CHAPTER II.


 [The emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the nobility, 
 comes to see the author in his confinement. The emperor's person 
 and habit described. Learned men appointed to teach the author 
 their language. He gains favour by his mild disposition. His 
 pockets are searched, and his sword and pistols taken from him.] 
 When I found myself on my feet, I looked about me, and must 
 confess I never beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country 
 around appeared like a continued garden, and the enclosed fields, 
 which were generally forty feet square, resembled so many beds 
 of flowers. These fields were intermingled with woods of half a 
 stang, (1) and the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared to be 
 seven feet high. I viewed the town on my left hand, which looked 
 like the painted scene of a city in a theatre. 
 I had been for some hours extremely pressed by the necessities of 
 nature, which was no wonder, it being almost two days since I had 
 last disburdened myself. I was under great difficulties between 
 urgency and shame. The best expedient I could think of, was to 
 creep into my house, which I accordingly did, and shutting the 
 gate after me, I went as far as the length of my chain would suffer, 
 and discharged my body of that uneasy load. But this was the only 
 time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an action, for which I. 
 cannot but hope the candid reader will give some allowance, after 
 he has maturely and impartially considered my case, and the 
 distress I was in. From this time my constant practice was, as soon 
 as I rose, to perform that business in open air, at the full extent of 
 my chain, and due care was taken every morning before company 
 came, that the offensive matter should be carried off in wheel-barrows, 
 by two servants appointed for that purpose. I would not 
 have dwelt so long upon a circumstance that, perhaps, at first 
 sight, may appear not very momentous, if I had not thought it 
 necessary to justify my character, in point of cleanliness, to the 
 world, which, I am told, some of my maligners have been pleased, 
 upon this and other occasions, to call in question. 
 When this adventure was at an end, I came back out of my house, 
 having occasion for fresh air. The emperor was already descended 
 from the tower, and advancing on horse-back towards me, which 
 had like to have cost him dear, for the beast, though very well 
 trained, yet wholly unused to such a sight, which appeared as if a 
 mountain moved before him, reared up on its hinder feet: but that 
 prince, who is an excellent horseman, kept his seat, till his 
 attendants ran in, and held the bridle, while his majesty had time 
 to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me round with great 
 admiration, but kept beyond the length of my chain. He ordered 
 his cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give me 
 victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles 
 upon wheels, till I could reach them. I took these vehicles and 
 soon emptied them all, twenty of them were filled with meat, and 
 ten with liquor, each of the former afforded me two or three good 
 mouthfuls, and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was. 
 contained in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a 
 draught, and so I did with the rest. The empress, and young 
 princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at 
 some distance in their chairs, but upon the accident that happened 
 to the emperor's horse, they alighted, and came near his person, 
 which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the 
 breadth of my nail, than any of his court, which alone is enough to 
 strike an awe into the beholders. 
 His features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and 
 arched nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his 
 body and limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and 
 his deportment majestic. He was then past his prime, being 
 twenty-eight years and three quarters old, of which he had reigned 
 about seven in great felicity, and generally victorious. For the 
 better convenience of beholding him, I lay on my side, so that my 
 face was parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off: however, 
 I have had him since many times in my hand, and therefore cannot 
 be deceived in the description. His dress was very plain and 
 simple, and the fashion of it between the Asiatic and the 
 European, but he had on his head a light helmet of gold, adorned 
 with jewels, and a plume on the crest. He held his sword drawn in 
 his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose, it 
 was almost three inches long, the hilt and scabbard were gold 
 enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and 
 articulate, and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The 
 ladies and courtiers were all most magnificently clad, so that the 
 spot they stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread upon 
 the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His. 
 imperial majesty spoke often to me, and I returned answers: but 
 neither of us could understand a syllable. There were several of 
 his priests and lawyers present (as I conjectured by their habits), 
 who were commanded to address themselves to me, and I spoke 
 to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering of, 
 which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, 
 and Lingua Franca, but all to no purpose. After about two hours 
 the court retired, and I was left with a strong guard, to prevent the 
 impertinence, and probably the malice of the rabble, who were 
 very impatient to crowd about me as near as they durst, and some 
 of them had the impudence to shoot their arrows at me, as I sat on 
 the ground by the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly 
 missed my left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders 
 to be seized, and thought no punishment so proper as to deliver 
 them bound into my hands, which some of his soldiers 
 accordingly did, pushing them forward with the butt-ends of their 
 pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put five of 
 them into my coat-pocket, and as to the sixth, I made a 
 countenance as if I would eat him alive. The poor man squalled 
 terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain, 
 especially when they saw me take out my penknife: but I soon put 
 them out of fear, for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the 
 strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground, and 
 away he ran. I treated the rest in the same manner, taking them 
 one by one out of my pocket, and I observed both the soldiers and 
 people were highly delighted at this mark of my clemency, which 
 was represented very much to my advantage at court.. 
 Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I 
 lay on the ground, and continued to do so about a fortnight, during 
 which time, the emperor gave orders to have a bed prepared for 
 me. Six hundred beds of the common measure were brought in 
 carriages, and worked up in my house, a hundred and fifty of their 
 beds, sewn together, made up the breadth and length, and these 
 were four double: which, however, kept me but very indifferently 
 from the hardness of the floor, that was of smooth stone. By the 
 same computation, they provided me with sheets, blankets, and 
 coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long inured 
 to hardships. 
 As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom, it brought 
 prodigious numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me, so 
 that the villages were almost emptied, and great neglect of tillage 
 and household affairs must have ensued, if his imperial majesty 
 had not provided, by several proclamations and orders of state, 
 against this inconveniency. He directed that those who had 
 already beheld me should return home, and not presume to come 
 within fifty yards of my house, without license from the court, 
 whereby the secretaries of state got considerable fees. 
 In the mean time the emperor held frequent councils, to debate 
 what course should be taken with me, and I was afterwards 
 assured by a particular friend, a person of great quality, who was 
 as much in the secret as any, that the court was under many 
 difficulties concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose, 
 that my diet would be very expensive, and might cause a famine. 
 Sometimes they determined to starve me, or at least to shoot me in. 
 the face and hands with poisoned arrows, which would soon 
 despatch me, but again they considered, that the stench of so large 
 a carcass might produce a plague in the metropolis, and probably 
 spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst of these 
 consultations, several officers of the army went to the door of the 
 great council-chamber, and two of them being admitted, gave an 
 account of my behaviour to the six criminals above-mentioned, 
 which made so favourable an impression in the breast of his 
 majesty and the whole board, in my behalf, that an imperial 
 commission was issued out, obliging all the villages, nine hundred 
 yards round the city, to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty 
 sheep, and other victuals for my sustenance, together with a 
 proportionable quantity of bread, and wine, and other liquors, for 
 the due payment of which, his majesty gave assignments upon his 
 treasury:--for this prince lives chiefly upon his own demesnes, 
 seldom, except upon great occasions, raising any subsidies upon 
 his subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at their own 
 expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred persons 
 to be my domestics, who had board-wages allowed for their 
 maintenance, and tents built for them very conveniently on each 
 side of my door. It was likewise ordered, that three hundred tailors 
 should make me a suit of clothes, after the fashion of the country, 
 that six of his majesty's greatest scholars should be employed to 
 instruct me in their language, and lastly, that the emperor's horses, 
 and those of the nobility and troops of guards, should be 
 frequently exercised in my sight, to accustom themselves to me. 
 All these orders were duly put in execution, and in about three 
 weeks I made a great progress in learning their language, during 
 which time the emperor frequently honoured me with his visits,. 
 and was pleased to assist my masters in teaching me. We began 
 already to converse together in some sort, and the first words I 
 learnt, were to express my desire 'that he would please give me 
 my liberty,' which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, 
 as I could comprehend it, was, 'that this must be a work of time, 
 not to be thought on without the advice of his council, and that 
 first I must LUMOS KELMIN PESSO DESMAR LON 
 EMPOSO,' that is, swear a peace with him and his kingdom. 
 However, that I should be used with all kindness. And he advised 
 me to 'acquire, by my patience and discreet behaviour, the good 
 opinion of himself and his subjects.' He desired 'I would not take 
 it ill, if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me, for 
 probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must 
 needs be dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so 
 prodigious a person.' I said, 'His majesty should be satisfied, for I 
 was ready to strip myself, and turn up my pockets before him.' 
 This I delivered part in words, and part in signs. He replied, 'that, 
 by the laws of the kingdom, I must be searched by two of his 
 officers, that he knew this could not be done without my consent 
 and assistance, and he had so good an opinion of my generosity 
 and justice, as to trust their persons in my hands, that whatever 
 they took from me, should be returned when I left the country, or 
 paid for at the rate which I would set upon them.' I took up the 
 two officers in my hands, put them first into my coat-pockets, and 
 then into every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and 
 another secret pocket, which I had no mind should be searched, 
 wherein I had some little necessaries that were of no consequence 
 to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver watch, and 
 in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These gentlemen,. 
 having pen, ink, and paper, about them, made an exact inventory 
 of every thing they saw, and when they had done, desired I would 
 set them down, that they might deliver it to the emperor. This 
 inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is, word for 
 word, as follows: 
 'IMPRIMIS, In the right coat-pocket of the great man-mountain' 
 (for so I interpret the words QUINBUS FLESTRIN,) 'after the 
 strictest search, we found only one great piece of coarse-cloth, 
 large enough to be a foot-cloth for your majesty's chief room of 
 state. In the left pocket we saw a huge silver chest, with a cover of 
 the same metal, which we, the searchers, were not able to lift. We 
 desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it, found 
 himself up to the mid leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof 
 flying up to our faces set us both a sneezing for several times 
 together. In his right waistcoat-pocket we found a prodigious 
 bundle of white thin substances, folded one over another, about 
 the bigness of three men, tied with a strong cable, and marked 
 with black figures, which we humbly conceive to be writings, 
 every letter almost half as large as the palm of our hands. In the 
 left there was a sort of engine, from the back of which were 
 extended twenty long poles, resembling the pallisados before your 
 majesty's court: wherewith we conjecture the man-mountain 
 combs his head, for we did not always trouble him with questions, 
 because we found it a great difficulty to make him understand us. 
 In the large pocket, on the right side of his middle cover' (so I 
 translate the word RANFULO, by which they meant my 
 breeches,) 'we saw a hollow pillar of iron, about the length of a 
 man, fastened to a strong piece of timber larger than the pillar, and. 
 upon one side of the pillar, were huge pieces of iron sticking out, 
 cut into strange figures, which we know not what to make of. In 
 the left pocket, another engine of the same kind. In the smaller 
 pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white 
 and red metal, of different bulk, some of the white, which seemed 
 to be silver, were so large and heavy, that my comrade and I could 
 hardly lift them. In the left pocket were two black pillars 
 irregularly shaped: we could not, without difficulty, reach the top 
 of them, as we stood at the bottom of his pocket. One of them was 
 covered, and seemed all of a piece: but at the upper end of the 
 other there appeared a white round substance, about twice the 
 bigness of our heads. Within each of these was enclosed a 
 prodigious plate of steel, which, by our orders, we obliged him to 
 show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous 
 engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his 
 own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these, 
 and cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we 
 could not enter: these he called his fobs, they were two large slits 
 cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the 
 pressure of his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain, 
 with a wonderful kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to 
 draw out whatever was at the end of that chain, which appeared to 
 be a globe, half silver, and half of some transparent metal, for, on 
 the transparent side, we saw certain strange figures circularly 
 drawn, and though we could touch them, till we found our fingers 
 stopped by the lucid substance. He put this engine into our ears, 
 which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we 
 conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he 
 worships, but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because. 
 he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed 
 himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without 
 consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the 
 time for every action of his life. From the left fob he took out a net 
 almost large enough for a fisherman, but contrived to open and 
 shut like a purse, and served him for the same use: we found 
 therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which, if they be 
 real gold, must be of immense value. 
 'Having thus, in obedience to your majesty's commands, 
 diligently searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his 
 waist made of the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on 
 the left side, hung a sword of the length of five men, and on the 
 right, a bag or pouch divided into two cells, each cell capable of 
 holding three of your majesty's subjects. In one of these cells were 
 several globes, or balls, of a most ponderous metal, about the 
 bigness of our heads, and requiring a strong hand to lift them: the 
 other cell contained a heap of certain black grains, but of no great 
 bulk or weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the palms 
 of our hands. 
 'This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of 
 the man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due 
 respect to your majesty's commission. Signed and sealed on the 
 fourth day of the eighty-ninth moon of your majesty's auspicious 
 reign. 

 CLEFRIN FRELOCK, MARSI FRELOCK.'. 

 When this inventory was read over to the emperor, he directed me, 
 although in very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars. 
 He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. 
 In the mean time he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops 
 (who then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their 
 bows and arrows just ready to discharge, but I did not observe it, 
 for mine eyes were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then 
 desired me to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some 
 rust by the sea water, was, in most parts, exceeding bright. I did 
 so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout between terror and 
 surprise, for the sun shone clear, and the reflection dazzled their 
 eyes, as I waved the scimitar to and fro in my hand. His majesty, 
 who is a most magnanimous prince, was less daunted than I could 
 expect: he ordered me to return it into the scabbard, and cast it on 
 the ground as gently as I could, about six feet from the end of my 
 chain. The next thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron 
 pillars, by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at 
 his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of it, and 
 charging it only with powder, which, by the closeness of my 
 pouch, happened to escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience 
 against which all prudent mariners take special care to provide,) I 
 first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off in 
 the air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight 
 of my scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck 
 dead, and even the emperor, although he stood his ground, could 
 not recover himself for some time. I delivered up both my pistols 
 in the same manner as I had done my scimitar, and then my pouch 
 of powder and bullets, begging him that the former might be kept 
 from fire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark, and blow up. 
 his imperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch, 
 which the emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two 
 of his tallest yeomen of the guards to bear it on a pole upon their 
 shoulders, as draymen in England do a barrel of ale. He was 
 amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of the 
 minute-hand, which he could easily discern, for their sight is 
 much more acute than ours: he asked the opinions of his learned 
 men about it, which were various and remote, as the reader may 
 well imagine without my repeating, although indeed I could not 
 very perfectly understand them. I then gave up my silver and 
 copper money, my purse, with nine large pieces of gold, and some 
 smaller ones, my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuff-box, 
 my handkerchief and journal-book. My scimitar, pistols, and 
 pouch, were conveyed in carriages to his majesty's stores, but the 
 rest of my goods were returned me. 
 I had as I before observed, one private pocket, which escaped 
 their search, wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I 
 sometimes use for the weakness of mine eyes,) a pocket 
 perspective, and some other little conveniences, which, being of 
 no consequence to the emperor, I did not think myself bound in 
 honour to discover, and I apprehended they might be lost or 
 spoiled if I ventured them out of my possession.. 



CHAPTER III.


 [The author diverts the emperor, and his nobility of both sexes, in 
 a very uncommon manner. The diversions of the court of Lilliput 
 described. The author has his liberty granted him upon certain 
 conditions.] 
 My gentleness and good behaviour had gained so far on the 
 emperor and his court, and indeed upon the army and people in 
 general, that I began to conceive hopes of getting my liberty in a 
 short time. I took all possible methods to cultivate this favourable 
 disposition. The natives came, by degrees, to be less apprehensive 
 of any danger from me. I would sometimes lie down, and let five 
 or six of them dance on my hand, and at last the boys and girls 
 would venture to come and play at hide-and-seek in my hair. I had 
 now made a good progress in understanding and speaking the 
 language. The emperor had a mind one day to entertain me with 
 several of the country shows, wherein they exceed all nations I 
 have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was diverted 
 with none so much as that of the rope-dancers, performed upon a 
 slender white thread, extended about two feet, and twelve inches 
 from the ground. Upon which I shall desire liberty, with the 
 reader's patience, to enlarge a little.. 
 This diversion is only practised by those persons who are 
 candidates for great employments, and high favour at court. They 
 are trained in this art from their youth, and are not always of noble 
 birth, or liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by 
 death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those 
 candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the 
 court with a dance on the rope, and whoever jumps the highest, 
 without falling, succeeds in the office. Very often the chief 
 ministers themselves are commanded to show their skill, and to 
 convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty. 
 Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight 
 rope, at least an inch higher than any other lord in the whole 
 empire. I have seen him do the summerset several times together, 
 upon a trencher fixed on a rope which is no thicker than a 
 common pack-thread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal 
 secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial, 
 the second after the treasurer, the rest of the great officers are 
 much upon a par. 
 These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof 
 great numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three 
 candidates break a limb. But the danger is much greater, when the 
 ministers themselves are commanded to show their dexterity, for, 
 by contending to excel themselves and their fellows, they strain so 
 far that there is hardly one of them who has not received a fall, 
 and some of them two or three. I was assured that, a year or two 
 before my arrival, Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck, 
 if one of the king's cushions, that accidentally lay on the ground, 
 had not weakened the force of his fall.. 
 There is likewise another diversion, which is only shown before 
 the emperor and empress, and first minister, upon particular 
 occasions. The emperor lays on the table three fine silken threads 
 of six inches long, one is blue, the other red, and the third green. 
 These threads are proposed as prizes for those persons whom the 
 emperor has a mind to distinguish by a peculiar mark of his 
 favour. The ceremony is performed in his majesty's great chamber 
 of state, where the candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity 
 very different from the former, and such as I have not observed 
 the least resemblance of in any other country of the new or old 
 world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel 
 to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one, 
 sometimes leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, 
 backward and forward, several times, according as the stick is 
 advanced or depressed. Sometimes the emperor holds one end of 
 the stick, and his first minister the other, sometimes the minister 
 has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his part with most 
 agility, and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is 
 rewarded with the blue-coloured silk, the red is given to the next, 
 and the green to the third, which they all wear girt twice round 
 about the middle, and you see few great persons about this court 
 who are not adorned with one of these girdles. 
 The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been 
 daily led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my 
 very feet without starting. The riders would leap them over my 
 hand, as I held it on the ground, and one of the emperor's 
 huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe and all, which. 
 was indeed a prodigious leap. I had the good fortune to divert the 
 emperor one day after a very extraordinary manner. I desired he 
 would order several sticks of two feet high, and the thickness of 
 an ordinary cane, to be brought me, whereupon his majesty 
 commanded the master of his woods to give directions 
 accordingly, and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as 
 many carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of 
 these sticks, and fixing them firmly in the ground in a 
 quadrangular figure, two feet and a half square, I took four other 
 sticks, and tied them parallel at each corner, about two feet from 
 the ground, then I fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that 
 stood erect, and extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top 
 of a drum, and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches 
 higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When 
 I had finished my work, I desired the emperor to let a troop of his 
 best horses twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this 
 plain. His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up, 
 one by one, in my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the 
 proper officers to exercise them. As soon as they got into order 
 they divided into two parties, performed mock skirmishes, 
 discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and pursued, 
 attacked and retired, and in short discovered the best military 
 discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and their 
 horses from falling over the stage, and the emperor was so much 
 delighted, that he ordered this entertainment to be repeated several 
 days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of 
 command, and with great difficulty persuaded even the empress 
 herself to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the 
 stage, when she was able to take a full view of the whole. 
 performance. It was my good fortune, that no ill accident 
 happened in these entertainments, only once a fiery horse, that 
 belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his hoof, struck a 
 hole in my handkerchief, and his foot slipping, he overthrew his 
 rider and himself, but I immediately relieved them both, and 
 covering the hole with one hand, I set down the troop with the 
 other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse that fell 
 was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt, and I 
 repaired my handkerchief as well as I could: however, I would not 
 trust to the strength of it any more, in such dangerous enterprises. 
 About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was 
 entertaining the court with this kind of feat, there arrived an 
 express to inform his majesty, that some of his subjects, riding 
 near the place where I was first taken up, had seen a great black 
 substance lying on the around, very oddly shaped, extending its 
 edges round, as wide as his majesty's bedchamber, and rising up in 
 the middle as high as a man, that it was no living creature, as they 
 at first apprehended, for it lay on the grass without motion, and 
 some of them had walked round it several times, that, by 
 mounting upon each other's shoulders, they had got to the top, 
 which was flat and even, and, stamping upon it, they found that it 
 was hollow within, that they humbly conceived it might be 
 something belonging to the man-mountain, and if his majesty 
 pleased, they would undertake to bring it with only five horses. I 
 presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive 
 this intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after 
 our shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the 
 place where I went to sleep, my hat, which I had fastened with a. 
 string to my head while I was rowing, and had stuck on all the 
 time I was swimming, fell off after I came to land, the string, as I 
 conjecture, breaking by some accident, which I never observed, 
 but thought my hat had been lost at sea. I entreated his imperial 
 majesty to give orders it might be brought to me as soon as 
 possible, describing to him the use and the nature of it: and the 
 next day the waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good 
 condition, they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch 
 and half of the edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes, these 
 hooks were tied by a long cord to the harness, and thus my hat was 
 dragged along for above half an English mile, but, the ground in 
 that country being extremely smooth and level, it received less 
 damage than I expected. 
 Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that 
 part of his army which quarters in and about his metropolis, to be 
 in readiness, took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular 
 manner. He desired I would stand like a Colossus, with my legs as 
 far asunder as I conveniently could. He then commanded his 
 general (who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron of 
 mine) to draw up the troops in close order, and march them under 
 me, the foot by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with 
 drums beating, colours flying, and pikes advanced. This body 
 consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse. His 
 majesty gave orders, upon pain of death, that every soldier in his 
 march should observe the strictest decency with regard to my 
 person, which however could not prevent some of the younger 
 officers from turning up their eyes as they passed under me: and,. 
 to confess the truth, my breeches were at that time in so ill a 
 condition, that they afforded some opportunities for laughter and 
 admiration. 
 I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty, that his 
 majesty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and 
 then in a full council, where it was opposed by none, except 
 Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any provocation, to 
 be my mortal enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole 
 board, and confirmed by the emperor. That minister was 
 GALBET, or admiral of the realm, very much in his master's 
 confidence, and a person well versed in affairs, but of a morose 
 and sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded to 
 comply, but prevailed that the articles and conditions upon which 
 I should be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn 
 up by himself. These articles were brought to me by Skyresh 
 Bolgolam in person attended by two under-secretaries, and 
 several persons of distinction. After they were read, I was 
 demanded to swear to the performance of them, first in the 
 manner of my own country, and afterwards in the method 
 prescribed by their laws, which was, to hold my right foot in my 
 left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the 
 crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear. But 
 because the reader may be curious to have some idea of the style 
 and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to 
 know the article upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a 
 translation of the whole instrument, word for word, as near as I 
 was able, which I here offer to the public.. 
 'Golbasto Momarem Evlame Gurdilo Shefin Mully Ully Gue, 
 most mighty Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the 
 universe, whose dominions extend five thousand BLUSTRUGS 
 (about twelve miles in circumference) to the extremities of the 
 globe, monarch of all monarchs, taller than the sons of men, 
 whose feet press down to the centre, and whose head strikes 
 against the sun, at whose nod the princes of the earth shake their 
 knees, pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer, fruitful 
 as autumn, dreadful as winter: his most sublime majesty proposes 
 to the man-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions, the 
 following articles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to 
 perform:--' 
 1st, The man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions, 
 without our license under our great seal. 
 '2d, He shall not presume to come into our metropolis, without 
 our express order, at which time, the inhabitants shall have two 
 hours warning to keep within doors. 
 '3d, The said man-mountain shall confine his walks to our 
 principal high roads, and not offer to walk, or lie down, in a 
 meadow or field of corn. 
 '4th, As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not 
 to trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their 
 horses, or carriages, nor take any of our subjects into his hands 
 without their own consent.. 
 '5th, If an express requires extraordinary despatch, the man-mountain 
 shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger 
 and horse a six days journey, once in every moon, and return the 
 said messenger back (if so required) safe to our imperial presence. 
 '6th, He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of 
 Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now 
 preparing to invade us. 
 '7th, That the said man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be 
 aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain 
 great stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and 
 other our royal buildings. 
 '8th, That the said man-mountain shall, in two moons' time, 
 deliver in an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, 
 by a computation of his own paces round the coast. 
 'Lastly, That, upon his solemn oath to observe all the above 
 articles, the said man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of 
 meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 of our subjects, 
 with free access to our royal person, and other marks of our 
 favour. Given at our palace at Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the 
 ninety-first moon of our reign.' 
 I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness 
 and content, although some of them were not so honourable as I 
 could have wished, which proceeded wholly from the malice of 
 Skyresh Bolgolam, the high-admiral: whereupon my chains were. 
 immediately unlocked, and I was at full liberty. The emperor 
 himself, in person, did me the honour to be by at the whole 
 ceremony. I made my acknowledgements by prostrating myself at 
 his majesty's feet: but he commanded me to rise, and after many 
 gracious expressions, which, to avoid the censure of vanity, I shall 
 not repeat, he added, 'that he hoped I should prove a useful 
 servant, and well deserve all the favours he had already conferred 
 upon me, or might do for the future.' 
 The reader may please to observe, that, in the last article of the 
 recovery of my liberty, the emperor stipulates to allow me a 
 quantity of meat and drink sufficient for the support of 1724 
 Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a friend at court how they 
 came to fix on that determinate number, he told me that his 
 majesty's mathematicians, having taken the height of my body by 
 the help of a quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the 
 proportion of twelve to one, they concluded from the similarity of 
 their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1724 of theirs, and 
 consequently would require as much food as was necessary to 
 support that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may 
 conceive an idea of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the 
 prudent and exact economy of so great a prince.. 



CHAPTER IV.


 [Mildendo, the metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the 
 emperor's palace. A conversation between the author and a 
 principal secretary, concerning the affairs of that empire. The 
 author's offers to serve the emperor in his wars.] 
 The first request I made, after I had obtained my liberty, was, that 
 I might have license to see Mildendo, the metropolis, which the 
 emperor easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt 
 either to the inhabitants or their houses. The people had notice, by 
 proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall which 
 encompassed it is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven 
 inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely 
 round it, and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I 
 stepped over the great western gate, and passed very gently, and 
 sidling, through the two principal streets, only in my short 
 waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses 
 with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmost 
 circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers who might 
 remain in the streets, although the orders were very strict, that all 
 people should keep in their houses, at their own peril. The garret 
 windows and tops of houses were so crowded with spectators, that 
 I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more populous place. 
 The city is an exact square, each side of the wall being five. 
 hundred feet long. The two great streets, which run across and 
 divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The lanes and 
 alleys, which I could not enter, but only view them as I passed, are 
 from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding 
 five hundred thousand souls: the houses are from three to five 
 stories: the shops and markets well provided. 
 The emperor's palace is in the centre of the city where the two 
 great streets meet. It is enclosed by a wall of two feet high, and 
 twenty feet distance from the buildings. I had his majesty's 
 permission to step over this wall, and, the space being so wide 
 between that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side. 
 The outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other 
 courts: in the inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very 
 desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult, for the great 
 gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches 
 high, and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court 
 were at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride 
 over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls 
 were strongly built of hewn stone, and four inches thick. At the 
 same time the emperor had a great desire that I should see the 
 magnificence of his palace, but this I was not able to do till three 
 days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of 
 the largest trees in the royal park, about a hundred yards distant 
 from the city. Of these trees I made two stools, each about three 
 feet high, and strong enough to bear my weight. The people 
 having received notice a second time, I went again through the 
 city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When I came to 
 the side of the outer court, I stood upon one stool, and took the. 
 other in my hand, this I lifted over the roof, and gently set it down 
 on the space between the first and second court, which was eight 
 feet wide. I then stept over the building very conveniently from 
 one stool to the other, and drew up the first after me with a hooked 
 stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost court, and, lying 
 down upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of the 
 middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered 
 the most splendid apartments that can be imagined. There I saw 
 the empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with 
 their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was 
 pleased to smile very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the 
 window her hand to kiss. 
 But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of 
 this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now 
 almost ready for the press, containing a general description of this 
 empire, from its first erection, through along series of princes, 
 with a particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning, 
 and religion, their plants and animals, their peculiar manners and 
 customs, with other matters very curious and useful, my chief 
 design at present being only to relate such events and transactions 
 as happened to the public or to myself during a residence of about 
 nine months in that empire. 
 One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty, 
 Reldresal, principal secretary (as they style him) for private 
 affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He 
 ordered his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give 
 him an hours audience, which I readily consented to, on account. 
 of his quality and personal merits, as well as of the many good 
 offices he had done me during my solicitations at court. I offered 
 to lie down that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, but 
 he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during our 
 conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty, said 'he 
 might pretend to some merit in it,' but, however, added, 'that if it 
 had not been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I 
 might not have obtained it so soon. For,' said he, 'as flourishing a 
 condition as we may appear to be in to foreigners, we labour 
 under two mighty evils: a violent faction at home, and the danger 
 of an invasion, by a most potent enemy, from abroad. As to the 
 first, you are to understand, that for about seventy moons past 
 there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the 
 names of TRAMECKSAN and SLAMECKSAN, from the high 
 and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish 
 themselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most 
 agreeable to our ancient constitution, but, however this be, his 
 majesty has determined to make use only of low heels in the 
 administration of the government, and all offices in the gift of the 
 crown, as you cannot but observe, and particularly that his 
 majesty's imperial heels are lower at least by a DRURR than any 
 of his court (DRURR is a measure about the fourteenth part of an 
 inch). The animosities between these two parties run so high, that 
 they will neither eat, nor drink, nor talk with each other. We 
 compute the TRAMECKSAN, or high heels, to exceed us in 
 number, but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his 
 imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency 
 towards the high heels, at least we can plainly discover that one of 
 his heels is higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his. 
 gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine disquiets, we are 
 threatened with an invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which is 
 the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and 
 powerful as this of his majesty. For as to what we have heard you 
 affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world 
 inhabited by human creatures as large as yourself, our 
 philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that 
 you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars, because it is 
 certain, that a hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short time 
 destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty's dominions: 
 besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no mention of 
 any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and 
 Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell 
 you, been engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty 
 moons past. It began upon the following occasion. It is allowed on 
 all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat 
 them, was upon the larger end, but his present majesty's 
 grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking 
 it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his 
 fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, 
 commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the 
 smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law, 
 that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on 
 that account, wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his 
 crown. These civil commotions were constantly fomented by the 
 monarchs of Blefuscu, and when they were quelled, the exiles 
 always fled for refuge to that empire. It is computed that eleven 
 thousand persons have at several times suffered death, rather than 
 submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large. 
 volumes have been published upon this controversy: but the 
 books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole 
 party rendered incapable by law of holding employments. During 
 the course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefusca did 
 frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of 
 making a schism in religion, by offending against a fundamental 
 doctrine of our great prophet Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of 
 the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran). This, however, is thought 
 to be a mere strain upon the text, for the words are these: 'that all 
 true believers break their eggs at the convenient end.' 
 And which is the convenient end, seems, in my humble opinion to 
 be left to every man's conscience, or at least in the power of the 
 chief magistrate to determine. Now, the Big-endian exiles have 
 found so much credit in the emperor of Blefuscu's court, and so 
 much private assistance and encouragement from their party here 
 at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two 
 empires for six-and-thirty moons, with various success, during 
 which time we have lost forty capital ships, and a much a greater 
 number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand of our 
 best seamen and soldiers, and the damage received by the enemy 
 is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However, they have 
 now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a 
 descent upon us, and his imperial majesty, placing great 
 confidence in your valour and strength, has commanded me to lay 
 this account of his affairs before you.'. 
 I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor, 
 and to let him know, 'that I thought it would not become me, who 
 was a foreigner, to interfere with parties, but I was ready, with the 
 hazard of my life, to defend his person and state against all 
 invaders.'. 



CHAPTER V.


 [The author, by an extraordinary stratagem, prevents an invasion. 
 A high title of honour is conferred upon him. Ambassadors arrive 
 from the emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for peace. The empress's 
 apartment on fire by an accident, the author instrumental in saving 
 the rest of the palace.] 
 The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the north-east of 
 Lilliput, from which it is parted only by a channel of eight 
 hundred yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this notice of 
 an intended invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the 
 coast, for fear of being discovered, by some of the enemy's ships, 
 who had received no intelligence of me, all intercourse between 
 the two empires having been strictly forbidden during the war, 
 upon pain of death, and an embargo laid by our emperor upon all 
 vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his majesty a project I had 
 formed of seizing the enemy's whole fleet, which, as our scouts 
 assured us, lay at anchor in the harbour, ready to sail with the first 
 fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the 
 depth of the channel, which they had often plumbed, who told me, 
 that in the middle, at high-water, it was seventy GLUMGLUFFS 
 deep, which is about six feet of European measure, and the rest of 
 it fifty GLUMGLUFFS at most. I walked towards the north-east 
 coast, over against Blefuscu, where, lying down behind a hillock,. 
 I took out my small perspective glass, and viewed the enemy's 
 fleet at anchor, consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great 
 number of transports: I then came back to my house, and gave 
 orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the 
 strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick as 
 packthread and the bars of the length and size of a knitting-needle. 
 I trebled the cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I 
 twisted three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into 
 a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went 
 back to the north-east coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and 
 stockings, walked into the sea, in my leathern jerkin, about half an 
 hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could, and 
 swam in the middle about thirty yards, till I felt ground. I arrived 
 at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy was so frightened 
 when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships, and swam 
 to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand 
 souls. I then took my tackling, and, fastening a hook to the hole at 
 the prow of each, I tied all the cords together at the end. While I 
 was thus employed, the enemy discharged several thousand 
 arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face, and, beside 
 the excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My 
 greatest apprehension was for mine eyes, which I should have 
 infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I 
 kept, among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a 
 private pocket, which, as I observed before, had escaped the 
 emperor's searchers. These I took out and fastened as strongly as I 
 could upon my nose, and thus armed, went on boldly with my 
 work, in spite of the enemy's arrows, many of which struck 
 against the glasses of my spectacles, but without any other effect,. 
 further than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all the 
 hooks, and, taking the knot in my hand, began to pull, but not a 
 ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so 
 that the boldest part of my enterprise remained. I therefore let go 
 the cord, and leaving the looks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut 
 with my knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving 
 about two hundred shots in my face and hands, then I took up the 
 knotted end of the cables, to which my hooks were tied, and with 
 great ease drew fifty of the enemy's largest men of war after me. 
 The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I 
 intended, were at first confounded with astonishment. They had 
 seen me cut the cables, and thought my design was only to let the 
 ships run adrift or fall foul on each other: but when they perceived 
 the whole fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at the end, 
 they set up such a scream of grief and despair as it is almost 
 impossible to describe or conceive. When I had got out of danger, 
 I stopped awhile to pick out the arrows that stuck in my hands and 
 face, and rubbed on some of the same ointment that was given me 
 at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I then took off 
 my spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the tide was a little 
 fallen, I waded through the middle with my cargo, and arrived 
 safe at the royal port of Lilliput. 
 The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the 
 issue of this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in 
 a large half-moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my 
 breast in water. When I advanced to the middle of the channel, 
 they were yet more in pain, because I was under water to my neck.. 
 The emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy's 
 fleet was approaching in a hostile manner: but he was soon eased 
 of his fears, for the channel growing shallower every step I made, 
 I came in a short time within hearing, and holding up the end of 
 the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I cried in a loud voice, 
 'Long live the most puissant king of Lilliput!' This great prince 
 received me at my landing with all possible encomiums, and 
 created me a NARDAC upon the spot, which is the highest title of 
 honour among them. 
 His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of 
 bringing all the rest of his enemy's ships into his ports. And so 
 unmeasureable is the ambition of princes, that he seemed to think 
 of nothing less than reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a 
 province, and governing it, by a viceroy, of destroying the Big-endian 
 exiles, and compelling that people to break the smaller end 
 of their eggs, by which he would remain the sole monarch of the 
 whole world. But I endeavoured to divert him from this design, by 
 many arguments drawn from the topics of policy as well as 
 justice, and I plainly protested, 'that I would never be an 
 instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery.' And, 
 when the matter was debated in council, the wisest part of the 
 ministry were of my opinion. 
 This open bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the 
 schemes and politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never 
 forgive me. He mentioned it in a very artful manner at council, 
 where I was told that some of the wisest appeared, at least by their 
 silence, to be of my opinion, but others, who were my secret. 
 enemies, could not forbear some expressions which, by a side-wind, 
 reflected on me. And from this time began an intrigue 
 between his majesty and a junto of ministers, maliciously bent 
 against me, which broke out in less than two months, and had like 
 to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight are the 
 greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a 
 refusal to gratify their passions. 
 About three weeks after this exploit, there arrived a solemn 
 embassy from Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace, which was 
 soon concluded, upon conditions very advantageous to our 
 emperor, wherewith I shall not trouble the reader. There were six 
 ambassadors, with a train of about five hundred persons, and their 
 entry was very magnificent, suitable to the grandeur of their 
 master, and the importance of their business. When their treaty 
 was finished, wherein I did them several good offices by the credit 
 I now had, or at least appeared to have, at court, their excellencies, 
 who were privately told how much I had been their friend, made 
 me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my 
 valour and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor 
 their master's name, and desired me to show them some proofs of 
 my prodigious strength, of which they had heard so many 
 wonders, wherein I readily obliged them, but shall not trouble the 
 reader with the particulars. 
 When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their 
 infinite satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the 
 honour to present my most humble respects to the emperor their 
 master, the renown of whose virtues had so justly filled the whole. 
 world with admiration, and whose royal person I resolved to 
 attend, before I returned to my own country. Accordingly, the 
 next time I had the honour to see our emperor, I desired his 
 general license to wait on the Blefuscudian monarch, which he 
 was pleased to grant me, as I could perceive, in a very cold 
 manner, but could not guess the reason, till I had a whisper from a 
 certain person, 'that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my 
 intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of disaffection,' 
 from which I am sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the 
 first time I began to conceive some imperfect idea of courts and 
 ministers. 
 It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me, by an 
 interpreter, the languages of both empires differing as much from 
 each other as any two in Europe, and each nation priding itself 
 upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy of their own tongue, with 
 an avowed contempt for that of their neighbour, yet our emperor, 
 standing upon the advantage he had got by the seizure of their 
 fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials, and make their 
 speech, in the Lilliputian tongue. And it must be confessed, that 
 from the great intercourse of trade and commerce between both 
 realms, from the continual reception of exiles which is mutual 
 among them, and from the custom, in each empire, to send their 
 young nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish 
 themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and 
 manners, there are few persons of distinction, or merchants, or 
 seamen, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what can hold 
 conversation in both tongues, as I found some weeks after, when I 
 went to pay my respects to the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the. 
 midst of great misfortunes, through the malice of my enemies, 
 proved a very happy adventure to me, as I shall relate in its proper 
 place. 
 The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon 
 which I recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked, 
 upon account of their being too servile, neither could anything but 
 an extreme necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a 
 NARDAC of the highest rank in that empire, such offices were 
 looked upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him 
 justice), never once mentioned them to me. However, it was not 
 long before I had an opportunity of doing his majesty, at least as I 
 then thought, a most signal service. I was alarmed at midnight 
 with the cries of many hundred people at my door, by which, 
 being suddenly awaked, I was in some kind of terror. I heard the 
 word BURGLUM repeated incessantly: several of the emperor's 
 court, making their way through the crowd, entreated me to come 
 immediately to the palace, where her imperial majesty's apartment 
 was on fire, by the carelessness of a maid of honour, who fell 
 asleep while she was reading a romance. I got up in an instant, and 
 orders being given to clear the way before me, and it being 
 likewise a moonshine night, I made a shift to get to the palace 
 without trampling on any of the people. I found they had already 
 applied ladders to the walls of the apartment, and were well 
 provided with buckets, but the water was at some distance. These 
 buckets were about the size of large thimbles, and the poor people 
 supplied me with them as fast as they could: but the flame was so 
 violent that they did little good. I might easily have stifled it with 
 my coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for haste, and came. 
 away only in my leathern jerkin. The case seemed wholly 
 desperate and deplorable, and this magnificent palace would have 
 infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a presence of mind 
 unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an expedient. I had, 
 the evening before, drunk plentifully of a most delicious wine 
 called GLIMIGRIM, (the Blefuscudians call it FLUNEC, but ours 
 is esteemed the better sort,) which is very diuretic. By the luckiest 
 chance in the world, I had not discharged myself of any part of it. 
 The heat I had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by 
 labouring to quench them, made the wine begin to operate by 
 urine, which I voided in such a quantity, and applied so well to the 
 proper places, that in three minutes the fire was wholly 
 extinguished, and the rest of that noble pile, which had cost so 
 many ages in erecting, preserved from destruction. 
 It was now day-light, and I returned to my house without waiting 
 to congratulate with the emperor: because, although I had done a 
 very eminent piece of service, yet I could not tell how his majesty 
 might resent the manner by which I had performed it: for, by the 
 fundamental laws of the realm, it is capital in any person, of what 
 quality soever, to make water within the precincts of the palace. 
 But I was a little comforted by a message from his majesty, 'that 
 he would give orders to the grand justiciary for passing my pardon 
 in form:' which, however, I could not obtain, and I was privately 
 assured, 'that the empress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of 
 what I had done, removed to the most distant side of the court, 
 firmly resolved that those buildings should never be repaired for 
 her use: and, in the presence of her chief confidents could not 
 forbear vowing revenge.'.. 



CHAPTER VI.


 [Of the inhabitants of Lilliput, their learning, laws, and customs, 
 the manner of educating their children. The author's way of living 
 in that country. His vindication of a great lady.] 
 Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a 
 particular treatise, yet, in the mean time, I am content to gratify 
 the curious reader with some general ideas. As the common size 
 of the natives is somewhat under six inches high, so there is an 
 exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees: 
 for instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five 
 inches in height, the sheep an inch and half, more or less: their 
 geese about the bigness of a sparrow, and so the several gradations 
 downwards till you come to the smallest, which to my sight, were 
 almost invisible, but nature has adapted the eyes of the 
 Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view: they see with great 
 exactness, but at no great distance. And, to show the sharpness of 
 their sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased 
 with observing a cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a 
 common fly, and a young girl threading an invisible needle with 
 invisible silk. Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean 
 some of those in the great royal park, the tops whereof I could but 
 just reach with my fist clenched. The other vegetables are in the 
 same proportion, but this I leave to the reader's imagination.. 
 I shall say but little at present of their learning, which, for many 
 ages, has flourished in all its branches among them: but their 
 manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to 
 the right, like the Europeans, nor from the right to the left, like the 
 Arabians, nor from up to down, like the Chinese, but aslant, from 
 one corner of the paper to the other, like ladies in England. 
 They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because 
 they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to 
 rise again, in which period the earth (which they conceive to be 
 flat) will turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their 
 resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet. The learned 
 among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine, but the 
 practice still continues, in compliance to the vulgar. 
 There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar, 
 and if they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear 
 country, I should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It 
 is only to be wished they were as well executed. The first I shall 
 mention, relates to informers. All crimes against the state, are 
 punished here with the utmost severity, but, if the person accused 
 makes his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is 
 immediately put to an ignominious death, and out of his goods or 
 lands the innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the loss 
 of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his 
 imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at in making his 
 defence, or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely supplied by the. 
 crown. The emperor also confers on him some public mark of his 
 favour, and proclamation is made of his innocence through the 
 whole city. 
 They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore 
 seldom fail to punish it with death, for they allege, that care and 
 vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a 
 man's goods from thieves, but honesty has no defence against 
 superior cunning, and, since it is necessary that there should be a 
 perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon 
 credit, where fraud is permitted and connived at, or has no law to 
 punish it, the honest dealer is always undone, and the knave gets 
 the advantage. I remember, when I was once interceding with the 
 emperor for a criminal who had wronged his master of a great 
 sum of money, which he had received by order and ran away with, 
 and happening to tell his majesty, by way of extenuation, that it 
 was only a breach of trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me 
 to offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime, and 
 truly I had little to say in return, farther than the common answer, 
 that different nations had different customs, for, I confess, I was 
 heartily ashamed. (2) 
 Although we usually call reward and punishment the two hinges 
 upon which all government turns, yet I could never observe this 
 maxim to be put in practice by any nation except that of Lilliput. 
 Whoever can there bring sufficient proof, that he has strictly 
 observed the laws of his country for seventy-three moons, has a 
 claim to certain privileges, according to his quality or condition of 
 life, with a proportionable sum of money out of a fund. 
 appropriated for that use: he likewise acquires the title of 
 SNILPALL, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not 
 descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious 
 defect of policy among us, when I told them that our laws were 
 enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is 
 upon this account that the image of Justice, in their courts of 
 judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind, 
 and on each side one, to signify circumspection, with a bag of 
 gold open in her right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to 
 show she is more disposed to reward than to punish. 
 In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard 
 to good morals than to great abilities, for, since government is 
 necessary to mankind, they believe, that the common size of 
 human understanding is fitted to some station or other, and that 
 Providence never intended to make the management of public 
 affairs a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of 
 sublime genius, of which there seldom are three born in an age: 
 but they suppose truth, justice, temperance, and the like, to be in 
 every man's power, the practice of which virtues, assisted by 
 experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the 
 service of his country, except where a course of study is required. 
 But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being 
 supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments 
 could never be put into such dangerous hands as those of persons 
 so qualified, and, at least, that the mistakes committed by 
 ignorance, in a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal. 
 consequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man, whose 
 inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to 
 manage, to multiply, and defend his corruptions. 
 In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man 
 incapable of holding any public station, for, since kings avow 
 themselves to be the deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think 
 nothing can be more absurd than for a prince to employ such men 
 as disown the authority under which he acts. 
 In relating these and the following laws, I would only be 
 understood to mean the original institutions, and not the most 
 scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the 
 degenerate nature of man. For, as to that infamous practice of 
 acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges 
 of favour and distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping 
 under them, the reader is to observe, that they were first 
 introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and 
 grew to the present height by the gradual increase of party and 
 faction. 
 Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have 
 been in some other countries: for they reason thus, that whoever 
 makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common 
 enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom he has received no 
 obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live.. 
 Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ 
 extremely from ours. For, since the conjunction of male and 
 female is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to 
 propagate and continue the species, the Lilliputians will needs 
 have it, that men and women are joined together, like other 
 animals, by the motives of concupiscence, and that their 
 tenderness towards their young proceeds from the like natural 
 principle: for which reason they will never allow that a child is 
 under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or to his 
 mother for bringing him into the world, which, considering the 
 miseries of human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended 
 so by his parents, whose thoughts, in their love encounters, were 
 otherwise employed. Upon these, and the like reasonings, their 
 opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with 
 the education of their own children, and therefore they have in 
 every town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers 
 and labourers, are obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be 
 reared and educated, when they come to the age of twenty moons, 
 at which time they are supposed to have some rudiments of 
 docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited to different 
 qualities, and both sexes. They have certain professors well 
 skilled in preparing children for such a condition of life as befits 
 the rank of their parents, and their own capacities, as well as 
 inclinations. I shall first say something of the male nurseries, and 
 then of the female. 
 The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are provided 
 with grave and learned professors, and their several deputies. The 
 clothes and food of the children are plain and simple. They are. 
 bred up in the principles of honour, justice, courage, modesty, 
 clemency, religion, and love of their country, they are always 
 employed in some business, except in the times of eating and 
 sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diversions 
 consisting of bodily exercises. They are dressed by men till four 
 years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although 
 their quality be ever so great, and the women attendant, who are 
 aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial 
 offices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go 
 together in smaller or greater numbers to take their diversions, and 
 always in the presence of a professor, or one of his deputies, 
 whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice, 
 to which our children are subject. 
 Their parents are suffered to see them only twice a year, the visit 
 is to last but an hour, they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting 
 and parting, but a professor, who always stands by on those 
 occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use any fondling 
 expressions, or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the 
 like. 
 The pension from each family for the education and entertainment 
 of a child, upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor's 
 officers. 
 The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, 
 traders, and handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the 
 same manner, only those designed for trades are put out 
 apprentices at eleven years old, whereas those of persons of. 
 quality continue in their exercises till fifteen, which answers to 
 twenty-one with us: but the confinement is gradually lessened for 
 the last three years. 
 In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated 
 much like the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of 
 their own sex, but always in the presence of a professor or deputy, 
 till they come to dress themselves, which is at five years old. And 
 if it be found that these nurses ever presume to entertain the girls 
 with frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practised 
 by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice 
 about the city, imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the 
 most desolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies are as 
 much ashamed of being cowards and fools as the men, and 
 despise all personal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanliness: 
 neither did I perceive any difference in their education made by 
 their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were 
 not altogether so robust, and that some rules were given them 
 relating to domestic life, and a smaller compass of learning was 
 enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among peoples of quality, 
 a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, 
 because she cannot always be young. When the girls are twelve 
 years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their 
 parents or guardians take them home, with great expressions of 
 gratitude to the professors, and seldom without tears of the young 
 lady and her companions.. 
 In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are 
 instructed in all kinds of works proper for their sex, and their 
 several degrees: those intended for apprentices are dismissed at 
 seven years old, the rest are kept to eleven. 
 The meaner families who have children at these nurseries, are 
 obliged, besides their annual pension, which is as low as possible, 
 to return to the steward of the nursery a small monthly share of 
 their gettings, to be a portion for the child, and therefore all 
 parents are limited in their expenses by the law. For the 
 Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in 
 subservience to their own appetites, to bring children into the 
 world, and leave the burthen of supporting them on the public. As 
 to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate a certain 
 sum for each child, suitable to their condition, and these funds are 
 always managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice. 
 The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their 
 business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore 
 their education is of little consequence to the public: 
 but the old and diseased among them, are supported by hospitals, 
 for begging is a trade unknown in this empire. 
 And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some 
 account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country, 
 during a residence of nine months, and thirteen days. Having a 
 head mechanically turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, 
 I had made for myself a table and chair convenient enough, out of. 
 the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred sempstresses were 
 employed to make me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of 
 the strongest and coarsest kind they could get, which, however, 
 they were forced to quilt together in several folds, for the thickest 
 was some degrees finer than lawn. Their linen is usually three 
 inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The sempstresses took 
 my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my neck, and 
 another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended, that each held 
 by the end, while a third measured the length of the cord with a 
 rule of an inch long. Then they measured my right thumb, and 
 desired no more, for by a mathematical computation, that twice 
 round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the neck and 
 the waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on the 
 ground before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three 
 hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me 
 clothes, but they had another contrivance for taking my measure. I 
 kneeled down, and they raised a ladder from the ground to my 
 neck, upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a plumb-line 
 from my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of 
 my coat: but my waist and arms I measured myself. When my 
 clothes were finished, which was done in my house (for the 
 largest of theirs would not have been able to hold them), they 
 looked like the patch-work made by the ladies in England, only 
 that mine were all of a colour. 
 I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient 
 huts built about my house, where they and their families lived, 
 and prepared me two dishes a-piece. I took up twenty waiters in 
 my hand, and placed them on the table: a hundred more attended. 
 below on the ground, some with dishes of meat, and some with 
 barrels of wine and other liquors slung on their shoulders, all 
 which the waiters above drew up, as I wanted, in a very ingenious 
 manner, by certain cords, as we draw the bucket up a well in 
 Europe. A dish of their meat was a good mouthful, and a barrel of 
 their liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields to ours, but 
 their beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so large, that I have 
 been forced to make three bites of it, but this is rare. My servants 
 were astonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country 
 we do the leg of a lark. Their geese and turkeys I usually ate at a 
 mouthful, and I confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller 
 fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife. 
 One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of 
 living, desired 'that himself and his royal consort, with the young 
 princes of the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness,' as 
 he was pleased to call it, 'of dining with me.' They came 
 accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of state, upon my table, 
 just over against me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the 
 lord high treasurer, attended there likewise with his white staff, 
 and I observed he often looked on me with a sour countenance, 
 which I would not seem to regard, but ate more than usual, in 
 honour to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with 
 admiration. I have some private reasons to believe, that this visit 
 from his majesty gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill 
 offices to his master. That minister had always been my secret 
 enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more than was usual to 
 the moroseness of his nature. He represented to the emperor 'the 
 low condition of his treasury, that he was forced to take up money. 
 at a great discount, that exchequer bills would not circulate under 
 nine per cent. below par, that I had cost his majesty above a 
 million and a half of SPRUGS' (their greatest gold coin, about the 
 bigness of a spangle) 'and, upon the whole, that it would be 
 advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasion of 
 dismissing me.' 
 I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, 
 who was an innocent sufferer upon my account. The treasurer 
 took a fancy to be jealous of his wife, from the malice of some 
 evil tongues, who informed him that her grace had taken a violent 
 affection for my person, and the court scandal ran for some time, 
 that she once came privately to my lodging. This I solemnly 
 declare to be a most infamous falsehood, without any grounds, 
 further than that her grace was pleased to treat me with all 
 innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own she came often 
 to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in 
 the coach, who were usually her sister and young daughter, and 
 some particular acquaintance, but this was common to many other 
 ladies of the court. And I still appeal to my servants round, 
 whether they at any time saw a coach at my door, without 
 knowing what persons were in it. On those occasions, when a 
 servant had given me notice, my custom was to go immediately to 
 the door, and, after paying my respects, to take up the coach and 
 two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if there were six 
 horses, the postillion always unharnessed four,) and place them on 
 a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five 
 inches high, to prevent accidents. And I have often had four 
 coaches and horses at once on my table, full of company, while I. 
 sat in my chair, leaning my face towards them, and when I was 
 engaged with one set, the coachmen would gently drive the others 
 round my table. I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably 
 in these conversations. But I defy the treasurer, or his two 
 informers (I will name them, and let them make the best of it) 
 Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me 
 INCOGNITO, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent by 
 express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related. 
 I should not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not 
 been a point wherein the reputation of a great lady is so nearly 
 concerned, to say nothing of my own, though I then had the 
 honour to be a NARDAC, which the treasurer himself is not, for 
 all the world knows, that he is only a GLUMGLUM, a title 
 inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in 
 England, yet I allow he preceded me in right of his post. These 
 false informations, which I afterwards came to the knowledge of 
 by an accident not proper to mention, made the treasurer show his 
 lady for some time an ill countenance, and me a worse, and 
 although he was at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost 
 all credit with him, and found my interest decline very fast with 
 the emperor himself, who was, indeed, too much governed by that 
 favourite.. 



CHAPTER VII.


 [The author, being informed of a design to accuse him of high-treason, 
 makes his escape to Blefuscu. His reception there.] 
 Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it 
 may be proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had 
 been for two months forming against me. 
 I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I 
 was unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed 
 heard and read enough of the dispositions of great princes and 
 ministers, but never expected to have found such terrible effects 
 of them, in so remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very 
 different maxims from those in Europe. 
 When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor 
 of Blefuscu, a considerable person at court (to whom I had been 
 very serviceable, at a time when he lay under the highest 
 displeasure of his imperial majesty) came to my house very 
 privately at night, in a close chair, and, without sending his name, 
 desired admittance. The chairmen were dismissed, I put the chair, 
 with his lordship in it, into my coat-pocket: and, giving orders to a 
 trusty servant, to say I was indisposed and gone to sleep, I 
 fastened the door of my house, placed the chair on the table,. 
 according to my usual custom, and sat down by it. After the 
 common salutations were over, observing his lordship's 
 countenance full of concern, and inquiring into the reason, he 
 desired 'I would hear him with patience, in a matter that highly 
 concerned my honour and my life.' His speech was to the 
 following effect, for I took notes of it as soon as he left me:-' 
 You are to know,' said he, 'that several committees of council 
 have been lately called, in the most private manner, on your 
 account, and it is but two days since his majesty came to a full 
 resolution. 
 'You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam' (GALBET, or 
 high-admiral) 'has been your mortal enemy, almost ever since 
 your arrival. His original reasons I know not, but his hatred is 
 increased since your great success against Blefuscu, by which his 
 glory as admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with 
 Flimnap the high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious 
 on account of his lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the 
 chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand justiciary, have prepared 
 articles of impeachment against you, for treason and other capital 
 crimes.' 
 This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own 
 merits and innocence, that I was going to interrupt him, when he 
 entreated me to be silent, and thus proceeded:--. 
 'Out of gratitude for the favours you have done me, I procured 
 information of the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles, 
 wherein I venture my head for your service. 
 ''Articles of Impeachment against QUINBUS FLESTRIN, (the 
 Man-Mountain.) 



ARTICLE I.


 ''Whereas, by a statute made in the reign of his imperial majesty 
 Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, that, whoever shall make water 
 within the precincts of the royal palace, shall be liable to the pains 
 and penalties of high-treason, notwithstanding, the said Quinbus 
 Flestrin, in open breach of the said law, under colour of 
 extinguishing the fire kindled in the apartment of his majesty's 
 most dear imperial consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and 
 devilishly, by discharge of his urine, put out the said fire kindled 
 in the said apartment, lying and being within the precincts of the 
 said royal palace, against the statute in that case provided, etc. 
 against the duty, etc. 



ARTICLE II.


 ''That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet 
 of Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded 
 by his imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said 
 empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be 
 governed by a viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to 
 death, not only all the Big-endian exiles, but likewise all the. 
 people of that empire who would not immediately forsake the 
 Big-endian heresy, he, the said Flestrin, like a false traitor against 
 his most auspicious, serene, imperial majesty, did petition to be 
 excused from the said service, upon pretence of unwillingness to 
 force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives of an 
 innocent people. 



ARTICLE III.


 ''That, whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the Court of 
 Blefuscu, to sue for peace in his majesty's court, he, the said 
 Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert, the 
 said ambassadors, although he knew them to be servants to a 
 prince who was lately an open enemy to his imperial majesty, and 
 in an open war against his said majesty. 



ARTICLE IV.


 ''That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful 
 subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and 
 empire of Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license 
 from his imperial majesty, and, under colour of the said license, 
 does falsely and traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and 
 thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so 
 lately an enemy, and in open war with his imperial majesty 
 aforesaid.' 
 'There are some other articles, but these are the most important, 
 of which I have read you an abstract.. 
 'In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be 
 confessed that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity, 
 often urging the services you had done him, and endeavouring to 
 extenuate your crimes. The treasurer and admiral insisted that you 
 should be put to the most painful and ignominious death, by 
 setting fire to your house at night, and the general was to attend 
 with twenty thousand men, armed with poisoned arrows, to shoot 
 you on the face and hands. Some of your servants were to have 
 private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your shirts and sheets, 
 which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and die in the 
 utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion, so that 
 for a long time there was a majority against you, but his majesty 
 resolving, if possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the 
 chamberlain. 
 'Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private 
 affairs, who always approved himself your true friend, was 
 commanded by the emperor to deliver his opinion, which he 
 accordingly did, and therein justified the good thoughts you have 
 of him. He allowed your crimes to be great, but that still there was 
 room for mercy, the most commendable virtue in a prince, and for 
 which his majesty was so justly celebrated. He said, the friendship 
 between you and him was so well known to the world, that 
 perhaps the most honourable board might think him partial, 
 however, in obedience to the command he had received, he would 
 freely offer his sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of 
 your services, and pursuant to his own merciful disposition, 
 would please to spare your life, and only give orders to put out. 
 both your eyes, he humbly conceived, that by this expedient 
 justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the world 
 would applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and 
 generous proceedings of those who have the honour to be his 
 counsellors. That the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to 
 your bodily strength, by which you might still be useful to his 
 majesty, that blindness is an addition to courage, by concealing 
 dangers from us, that the fear you had for your eyes, was the 
 greatest difficulty in bringing over the enemy's fleet, and it would 
 be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of the ministers, since the 
 greatest princes do no more. 
 'This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by 
 the whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his 
 temper, but, rising up in fury, said, he wondered how the secretary 
 durst presume to give his opinion for preserving the life of a 
 traitor, that the services you had performed were, by all true 
 reasons of state, the great aggravation of your crimes, that you, 
 who were able to extinguish the fire by discharge of urine in her 
 majesty's apartment (which he mentioned with horror), might, at 
 another time, raise an inundation by the same means, to drown the 
 whole palace, and the same strength which enabled you to bring 
 over the enemy's fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to 
 carry it back, that he had good reasons to think you were a Big-endian 
 in your heart, and, as treason begins in the heart, before it 
 appears in overt-acts, so he accused you as a traitor on that 
 account, and therefore insisted you should be put to death.. 
 'The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits 
 his majesty's revenue was reduced, by the charge of maintaining 
 you, which would soon grow insupportable, that the secretary's 
 expedient of putting out your eyes, was so far from being a 
 remedy against this evil, that it would probably increase it, as is 
 manifest from the common practice of blinding some kind of 
 fowls, after which they fed the faster, and grew sooner fat, that his 
 sacred majesty and the council, who are your judges, were, in 
 their own consciences, fully convinced of your guilt, which was a 
 sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without the formal 
 proofs required by the strict letter of the law. 
 'But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital 
 punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the council 
 thought the loss of your eyes too easy a censure, some other way 
 may be inflicted hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly 
 desiring to be heard again, in answer to what the treasurer had 
 objected, concerning the great charge his majesty was at in 
 maintaining you, said, that his excellency, who had the sole 
 disposal of the emperor's revenue, might easily provide against 
 that evil, by gradually lessening your establishment, by which, for 
 want of sufficient for you would grow weak and faint, and lose 
 your appetite, and consequently, decay, and consume in a few 
 months, neither would the stench of your carcass be then so 
 dangerous, when it should become more than half diminished, and 
 immediately upon your death five or six thousand of his majesty's 
 subjects might, in two or three days, cut your flesh from your. 
 bones, take it away by cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts, to 
 prevent infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of 
 admiration to posterity. 
 'Thus, by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair 
 was compromised. It was strictly enjoined, that the project of 
 starving you by degrees should be kept a secret, but the sentence 
 of putting out your eyes was entered on the books, none 
 dissenting, except Bolgolam the admiral, who, being a creature of 
 the empress, was perpetually instigated by her majesty to insist 
 upon your death, she having borne perpetual malice against you, 
 on account of that infamous and illegal method you took to 
 extinguish the fire in her apartment. 
 'In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to 
 your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment, and 
 then to signify the great lenity and favour of his majesty and 
 council, whereby you are only condemned to the loss of your 
 eyes, which his majesty does not question you will gratefully and 
 humbly submit to, and twenty of his majesty's surgeons will 
 attend, in order to see the operation well performed, by 
 discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into the balls of your eyes, 
 as you lie on the ground. 
 'I leave to your prudence what measures you will take, and to 
 avoid suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner 
 as I came.'. 
 His lordship did so, and I remained alone, under many doubts and 
 perplexities of mind. 
 It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very 
 different, as I have been assured, from the practice of former 
 times,) that after the court had decreed any cruel execution, either 
 to gratify the monarch's resentment, or the malice of a favourite, 
 the emperor always made a speech to his whole council, 
 expressing his great lenity and tenderness, as qualities known and 
 confessed by all the world. This speech was immediately 
 published throughout the kingdom, nor did any thing terrify the 
 people so much as those encomiums on his majesty's mercy, 
 because it was observed, that the more these praises were enlarged 
 and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the 
 sufferer more innocent. Yet, as to myself, I must confess, having 
 never been designed for a courtier, either by my birth or 
 education, I was so ill a judge of things, that I could not discover 
 the lenity and favour of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps 
 erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes 
 thought of standing my trial, for, although I could not deny the 
 facts alleged in the several articles, yet I hoped they would admit 
 of some extenuation. But having in my life perused many state-trials, 
 which I ever observed to terminate as the judges thought fit 
 to direct, I durst not rely on so dangerous a decision, in so critical 
 a juncture, and against such powerful enemies. Once I was 
 strongly bent upon resistance, for, while I had liberty the whole 
 strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily 
 with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces, but I soon rejected that 
 project with horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the. 
 emperor, the favours I received from him, and the high title of 
 NARDAC he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned 
 the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself, that his majesty's 
 present seventies acquitted me of all past obligations. 
 At last, I fixed upon a resolution, for which it is probable I may 
 incur some censure, and not unjustly, for I confess I owe the 
 preserving of mine eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own 
 great rashness and want of experience, because, if I had then 
 known the nature of princes and ministers, which I have since 
 observed in many other courts, and their methods of treating 
 criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should, with great alacrity 
 and readiness, have submitted to so easy a punishment. But 
 hurried on by the precipitancy of youth, and having his imperial 
 majesty's license to pay my attendance upon the emperor of 
 Blefuscu, I took this opportunity, before the three days were 
 elapsed, to send a letter to my friend the secretary, signifying my 
 resolution of setting out that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the 
 leave I had got, and, without waiting for an answer, I went to that 
 side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized a large man of war, 
 tied a cable to the prow, and, lifting up the anchors, I stripped 
 myself, put my clothes (together with my coverlet, which I carried 
 under my arm) into the vessel, and, drawing it after me, between 
 wading and swimming arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu, where 
 the people had long expected me: they lent me two guides to 
 direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I held 
 them in my hands, till I came within two hundred yards of the 
 gate, and desired them 'to signify my arrival to one of the 
 secretaries, and let him know, I there waited his majesty's. 
 command.' I had an answer in about an hour, 'that his majesty, 
 attended by the royal family, and great officers of the court, was 
 coming out to receive me.' I advanced a hundred yards. The 
 emperor and his train alighted from their horses, the empress and 
 ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any 
 fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his majesty's and the 
 empress's hands. I told his majesty, 'that I was come according to 
 my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master, to 
 have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him 
 any service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own 
 prince,' not mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had 
 hitherto no regular information of it, and might suppose myself 
 wholly ignorant of any such design, neither could I reasonably 
 conceive that the emperor would discover the secret, while I was 
 out of his power, wherein, however, it soon appeared I was 
 deceived. 
 I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my 
 reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so 
 great a prince, nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house 
 and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my 
 coverlet.. 



CHAPTER VIII.


 [The author, by a lucky accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu, 
 and, after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country.] 
 Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the north-east 
 coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the 
 sea, somewhat that looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my 
 shoes and stockings, and, wailing two or three hundred yards, I 
 found the object to approach nearer by force of the tide, and then 
 plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed might by some 
 tempest have been driven from a ship. Whereupon, I returned 
 immediately towards the city, and desired his imperial majesty to 
 lend me twenty of the tallest vessels he had left, after the loss of 
 his fleet, and three thousand seamen, under the command of his 
 vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I went back the 
 shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the boat. I found 
 the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all provided 
 with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient 
 strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself, and waded 
 till I came within a hundred yards off the boat, after which I was 
 forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of 
 the cord, which I fastened to a hole in the fore-part of the boat, 
 and the other end to a man of war, but I found all my labour to 
 little purpose, for, being out of my depth, I was not able to work.. 
 In this necessity I was forced to swim behind, and push the boat 
 forward, as often as I could, with one of my hands, and the tide 
 favouring me, I advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin 
 and feel the ground. I rested two or three minutes, and then gave 
 the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than 
 my arm-pits, and now, the most laborious part being over, I took 
 out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the ships, and 
 fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the vessels 
 which attended me, the wind being favourable, the seamen towed, 
 and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore, and, 
 waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by the 
 assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I made a 
 shift to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged. 
 I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by 
 the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get 
 my boat to the royal port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse 
 of people appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of 
 so prodigious a vessel. I told the emperor 'that my good fortune 
 had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence 
 I might return into my native country, and begged his majesty's 
 orders for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to 
 depart,' which, after some kind expostulations, he was pleased to 
 grant. 
 I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any 
 express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. 
 But I was afterward given privately to understand, that his 
 imperial majesty, never imagining I had the least notice of his. 
 designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in performance of 
 my promise, according to the license he had given me, which was 
 well known at our court, and would return in a few days, when the 
 ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain at my long 
 absence, and after consulting with the treasurer and the rest of that 
 cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the copy of the 
 articles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to the 
 monarch of Blefuscu, 'the great lenity of his master, who was 
 content to punish me no farther than with the loss of mine eyes, 
 that I had fled from justice, and if I did not return in two hours, I 
 should be deprived of my title of NARDAC, and declared a 
 traitor.' The envoy further added, 'that in order to maintain the 
 peace and amity between both empires, his master expected that 
 his brother of Blefuscu would give orders to have me sent back to 
 Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be punished as a traitor.' 
 The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, 
 returned an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He 
 said, 'that as for sending me bound, his brother knew it was 
 impossible, that, although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he 
 owed great obligations to me for many good offices I had done 
 him in making the peace. That, however, both their majesties 
 would soon be made easy, for I had found a prodigious vessel on 
 the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he had given orders 
 to fit up, with my own assistance and direction, and he hoped, in a 
 few weeks, both empires would be freed from so insupportable an 
 encumbrance.'. 
 With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput, and the monarch 
 of Blefuscu related to me all that had passed, offering me at the 
 same time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious 
 protection, if I would continue in his service, wherein, although I 
 believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any 
 confidence in princes or ministers, where I could possibly avoid 
 it, and therefore, with all due acknowledgments for his favourable 
 intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told him, 'that since 
 fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I 
 was resolved to venture myself on the ocean, rather than be an 
 occasion of difference between two such mighty monarchs.' 
 Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased, and I discovered, 
 by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and 
 so were most of his ministers. 
 These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat 
 sooner than I intended, to which the court, impatient to have me 
 gone, very readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were 
 employed to make two sails to my boat, according to my 
 directions, by quilting thirteen folds of their strongest linen 
 together. I was at the pains of making ropes and cables, by 
 twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest and strongest of 
 theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a long search, by 
 the sea-shore, served me for an anchor. I had the tallow of three 
 hundred cows, for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at 
 incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest timber-trees, 
 for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his 
 majesty's ship-carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them, 
 after I had done the rough work.. 
 In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his 
 majesty's commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and 
 royal family came out of the palace, I lay down on my face to kiss 
 his hand, which he very graciously gave me: so did the empress 
 and young princes of the blood. His majesty presented me with 
 fifty purses of two hundred SPRUGS a-piece, together with his 
 picture at full length, which I put immediately into one of my 
 gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The ceremonies at my 
 departure were too many to trouble the reader with at this time. 
 I stored the boat with the carcases of a hundred oxen, and three 
 hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much 
 meat ready dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. I took 
 with me six cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and 
 rams, intending to carry them into my own country, and propagate 
 the breed. And to feed them on board, I had a good bundle of hay, 
 and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a dozen of the 
 natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by no means 
 permit, and, besides a diligent search into my pockets, his majesty 
 engaged my honour 'not to carry away any of his subjects, 
 although with their own consent and desire.' 
 Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on 
 the twenty-fourth day of September 1701, at six in the morning, 
 and when I had gone about four-leagues to the northward, the 
 wind being at south-east, at six in the evening I descried a small 
 island, about half a league to the north-west. I advanced forward, 
 and cast anchor on the lee-side of the island, which seemed to be. 
 uninhabited. I then took some refreshment, and went to my rest. I 
 slept well, and as I conjectured at least six hours, for I found the 
 day broke in two hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate 
 my breakfast before the sun was up, and heaving anchor, the wind 
 being favourable, I steered the same course that I had done the day 
 before, wherein I was directed by my pocket compass. My 
 intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands. which I 
 had reason to believe lay to the north-east of Van Diemen's Land. 
 I discovered nothing all that day, but upon the next, about three in 
 the afternoon, when I had by my computation made twenty-four 
 leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the south-east, 
 my course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no answer, yet 
 I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made all the 
 sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out her 
 ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I 
 was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my 
 beloved country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship 
 slackened her sails, and I came up with her between five and six in 
 the evening, September 26th, but my heart leaped within me to 
 see her English colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat-pockets, 
 and got on board with all my little cargo of provisions. 
 The vessel was an English merchantman, returning from Japan by 
 the North and South seas, the captain, Mr. John Biddel, of 
 Deptford, a very civil man, and an excellent sailor. 
 We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south, there were about 
 fifty men in the ship, and here I met an old comrade of mine, one 
 Peter Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. 
 This gentleman treated me with kindness, and desired I would let. 
 him know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound, 
 which I did in a few words, but he thought I was raving, and that 
 the dangers I underwent had disturbed my head, whereupon I took 
 my black cattle and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great 
 astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity. I then 
 showed him the gold given me by the emperor of Blefuscu, 
 together with his majesty's picture at full length, and some other 
 rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundreds 
 SPRUGS each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to 
 make him a present of a cow and a sheep big with young. 
 I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this 
 voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived 
 in the Downs on the 13th of April, 1702. I had only one 
 misfortune, that the rats on board carried away one of my sheep, I 
 found her bones in a hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of 
 my cattle I got safe ashore, and set them a-grazing in a bowling-green 
 at Greenwich, where the fineness of the grass made them 
 feed very heartily, though I had always feared the contrary: 
 neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long a voyage, 
 if the captain had not allowed me some of his best biscuit, which, 
 rubbed to powder, and mingled with water, was their constant 
 food. The short time I continued in England, I made a 
 considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of 
 quality and others: and before I began my second voyage, I sold 
 them for six hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed. 
 is considerably increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will 
 prove much to the advantage of the woollen manufacture, by the 
 fineness of the fleeces. 
 I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my 
 insatiable desire of seeing foreign countries, would suffer me to 
 continue no longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, 
 and fixed her in a good house at Redriff. My remaining stock I 
 carried with me, part in money and part in goods, in hopes to 
 improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle John had left me an estate 
 in land, near Epping, of about thirty pounds a year, and I had a 
 long lease of the Black Bull in Fetter-Lane, which yielded me as 
 much more, so that I was not in any danger of leaving my family 
 upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at 
 the grammar-school, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty 
 (who is now well married, and has children) was then at her 
 needle-work. I took leave of my wife, and boy and girl, with tears 
 on both sides, and went on board the Adventure, a merchant ship 
 of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas, of 
 Liverpool, commander. But my account of this voyage must be 
 referred to the Second Part of my Travels.. 



 * PART II. A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG * 




CHAPTER I.


 [A great storm described, the long boat sent to fetch water, the 
 author goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is 
 seized by one of the natives, and carried to a farmer's house. His 
 reception, with several accidents that happened there. 
 A description of the inhabitants.] 
 Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and 
 restless life, in two months after my return, I again left my native 
 country, and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June, 
 1702, in the Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, 
 commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous gale, till 
 we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where we landed for fresh 
 water, but discovering a leak, we unshipped our goods and 
 wintered there, for the captain falling sick of an ague, we could 
 not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set sail, and had 
 a good voyage till we passed the Straits of Madagascar, but 
 having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees 
 south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow 
 a constant equal gale between the north and west, from the 
 beginning of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of 
 April began to blow with much greater violence, and more 
 westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty days together:. 
 during which time, we were driven a little to the east of the 
 Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward of the line, as 
 our captain found by an observation he took the 2nd of May, at 
 which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm, whereat I 
 was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in 
 the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, 
 which accordingly happened the day following: for the southern 
 wind, called the southern monsoon, began to set in. 
 Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail, and 
 stood by to hand the fore-sail, but making foul weather, we looked 
 the guns were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship lay very 
 broad off, so we thought it better spooning before the sea, than 
 trying or hulling. We reefed the fore-sail and set him, and hauled 
 aft the fore-sheet, the helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore 
 bravely. We belayed the fore down-haul, but the sail was split, and 
 we hauled down the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and 
 unbound all the things clear of it. It was a very fierce storm, the 
 sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off upon the laniard 
 of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. We would not 
 get down our topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded 
 before the sea very well, and we knew that the top-mast being 
 aloft, the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through 
 the sea, seeing we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set 
 fore-sail and main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the 
 mizen, main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north- 
 east, the wind was at south-west. We got the starboard tacks 
 aboard, we cast off our weather-braces and lifts, we set in the lee-. 
 braces, and hauled forward by the weather-bowlings, and hauled 
 them tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizen tack to 
 windward, and kept her full and by as near as she would lie. 
 During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south- 
 west, we were carried, by my computation, about five 
 hundred leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board 
 could not tell in what part of the world we were. Our provisions 
 held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all in good 
 health, but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We thought it 
 best to hold on the same course, rather than turn more northerly, 
 which might have brought us to the north-west part of Great 
 Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea. 
 On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast discovered 
 land. On the 17th, we came in full view of a great island, or 
 continent (for we knew not whether,) on the south side whereof 
 was a small neck of land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too 
 shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred tons. We cast anchor 
 within a league of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his 
 men well armed in the long-boat, with vessels for water, if any 
 could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I might 
 see the country, and make what discoveries I could. When we 
 came to land we saw no river or spring, nor any sign of 
 inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to find out 
 some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on 
 the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I 
 now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my 
 curiosity, I returned gently down towards the creek, and the sea. 
 being full in my view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and 
 rowing for life to the ship. I was going to halloo after them, 
 although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge 
 creature walking after them in the sea, as fast as he could: he 
 waded not much deeper than his knees, and took prodigious 
 strides: but our men had the start of him half a league, and, the sea 
 thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not 
 able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst 
 not stay to see the issue of the adventure, but ran as fast as I could 
 the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill, which gave 
 me some prospect of the country. I found it fully cultivated, but 
 that which first surprised me was the length of the grass, which, in 
 those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was about twenty 
 feet high. 
 I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served to the 
 inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of barley. Here I 
 walked on for some time, but could see little on either side, it 
 being now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I 
 was an hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in 
 with a hedge of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the 
 trees so lofty that I could make no computation of their altitude. 
 There was a stile to pass from this field into the next. It had four 
 steps, and a stone to cross over when you came to the uppermost. 
 It was impossible for me to climb this stile, because every step 
 was six-feet high, and the upper stone about twenty. I was 
 endeavouring to find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered 
 one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the 
 stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing. 
 our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and took 
 about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was 
 struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to hide 
 myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile looking 
 back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him call in a 
 voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet: but the noise 
 was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was 
 thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself, came towards 
 him with reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook about the 
 largeness of six scythes. These people were not so well clad as the 
 first, whose servants or labourers they seemed to be, for, upon 
 some words he spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field 
 where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could, but 
 was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the 
 corn were sometimes not above a foot distant, so that I could 
 hardly squeeze my body betwixt them. However, I made a shift to 
 go forward, till I came to a part of the field where the corn had 
 been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for me to 
 advance a step, for the stalks were so interwoven, that I could not 
 creep through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and 
 pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At 
 the same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. 
 Being quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and 
 dispair, I lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I 
 might there end my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and 
 fatherless children. I lamented my own folly and wilfulness, in 
 attempting a second voyage, against the advice of all my friends 
 and relations. In this terrible agitation of mind, I could not forbear 
 thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants looked upon me as the. 
 greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world, where I was able 
 to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform those other 
 actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles of that 
 empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although 
 attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification it must prove 
 to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single 
 Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the 
 least of my misfortunes, for, as human creatures are observed to 
 be more savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I 
 expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these 
 enormous barbarians that should happen to seize me? 
 Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that 
 nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison. It might 
 have pleased fortune, to have let the Lilliputians find some nation, 
 where the people were as diminutive with respect to them, as they 
 were to me. And who knows but that even this prodigious race of 
 mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant part of the 
 world, whereof we have yet no discovery. 
 Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with 
 these reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten 
 yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the 
 next step I should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in 
 two with his reaping-hook. And therefore, when he was again 
 about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could make me: 
 whereupon the huge creature trod short, and, looking round about 
 under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on the ground. 
 He considered awhile, with the caution of one who endeavours to 
 lay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a manner that it shall. 
 not be able either to scratch or bite him, as I myself have 
 sometimes done with a weasel in England. At length he ventured 
 to take me behind, by the middle, between his fore-finger and 
 thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes, that he 
 might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning, 
 and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I 
 resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above 
 sixty feet from the ground, although he grievously pinched my 
 sides, for fear I should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was 
 to raise mine eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together in 
 a supplicating posture, and to speak some words in a humble 
 melancholy tone, suitable to the condition I then was in: for I 
 apprehended every moment that he would dash me against the 
 ground, as we usually do any little hateful animal, which we have 
 a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that he 
 appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look 
 upon me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce 
 articulate words, although he could not understand them. In the 
 mean time I was not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, 
 and turning my head towards my sides, letting him know, as well 
 as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and 
 finger. He seemed to apprehend my meaning, for, lifting up the 
 lappet of his coat, he put me gently into it, and immediately ran 
 along with me to his master, who was a substantial farmer, and the 
 same person I had first seen in the field. 
 The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such an 
 account of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a 
 small straw, about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted. 
 up the lappets of my coat, which it seems he thought to be some 
 kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside 
 to take a better view of my face. He called his hinds about him, 
 and asked them, as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever 
 seen in the fields any little creature that resembled me. He then 
 placed me softly on the ground upon all fours, but I got 
 immediately up, and walked slowly backward and forward, to let 
 those people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in 
 a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off 
 my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my 
 knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words 
 as loud as I could: I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and 
 humbly presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his 
 hand, then applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and 
 afterwards turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he 
 took out of his sleeve,) but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I 
 made a sign that he should place his hand on the ground. I then 
 took the purse, and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. 
 There were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty 
 or thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger 
 upon his tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces, and then 
 another, but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He 
 made me a sign to put them again into my purse, and the purse 
 again into my pocket, which, after offering it to him several times, 
 I thought it best to do. 
 The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational 
 creature. He spoke often to me, but the sound of his voice pierced 
 my ears like that of a water-mill, yet his words were articulate. 
 enough. I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he 
 often laid his ear within two yards of me: but all in vain, for we 
 were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants 
 to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he 
 doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the 
 ground with the palm upward, making me a sign to step into it, as 
 I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in thickness. I 
 thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at 
 full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he 
 lapped me up to the head for further security, and in this manner 
 carried me home to his house. There he called his wife, and 
 showed me to her, but she screamed and ran back, as women in 
 England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she 
 had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the signs 
 her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew 
 extremely tender of me. 
 It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It 
 was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition 
 of a husbandman,) in a dish of about four-and-twenty feet 
 diameter. The company were, the farmer and his wife, three 
 children, and an old grandmother. When they were sat down, the 
 farmer placed me at some distance from him on the table, which 
 was thirty feet high from the floor. I was in a terrible fright, and 
 kept as far as I could from the edge, for fear of falling. The wife 
 minced a bit of meat, then crumbled some bread on a trencher, and 
 placed it before me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and 
 fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The 
 mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held about two. 
 gallons, and filled it with drink, I took up the vessel with much 
 difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to 
 her ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could in 
 English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I was 
 almost deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small 
 cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to 
 come to his trencher side, but as I walked on the table, being in 
 great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily 
 conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and 
 fell flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, 
 and observing the good people to be in much concern, I took my 
 hat (which I held under my arm out of good manners,) and waving 
 it over my head, made three huzzas, to show I had got no mischief 
 by my fall. But advancing forward towards my master (as I shall 
 henceforth call him,) his youngest son, who sat next to him, an 
 arch boy of about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held 
 me so high in the air, that I trembled every limb: but his father 
 snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box 
 on the left ear, as would have felled an European troop of horse to 
 the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid 
 the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how 
 mischievous all children among us naturally are to sparrows, 
 rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and 
 pointing to the boy, made my master to understand, as well as I 
 could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father 
 complied, and the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to 
 him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him 
 stroke me gently with it.. 
 In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leaped into her 
 lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers 
 at work, and turning my head, I found it proceeded from 
 the purring of that animal, who seemed to be three times larger 
 than an ox, as I computed by the view of her head, and one of her 
 paws, while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The 
 fierceness of this creature's countenance altogether discomposed 
 me, though I stood at the farther end of the table, above fifty feet 
 off, and although my mistress held her fast, for fear she might 
 give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened there 
 was no danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me when my 
 master placed me within three yards of her. And as I have been 
 always told, and found true by experience in my travels, that 
 flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain way 
 to make it pursue or attack you, so I resolved, in this dangerous 
 juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity 
 five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came within 
 half a yard of her, whereupon she drew herself back, as if she 
 were more afraid of me: I had less apprehension concerning the 
 dogs, whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in 
 farmers' houses, one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four 
 elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the 
 mastiff, but not so large. 
 When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a 
 year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a 
 squall that you might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea, 
 after the usual oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The 
 mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me towards. 
 the child, who presently seized me by the middle, and got my 
 head into his mouth, where I roared so loud that the urchin was 
 frighted, and let me drop, and I should infallibly have broke my 
 neck, if the mother had not held her apron under me. The nurse, to 
 quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was a kind of hollow 
 vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to the 
 child's waist: but all in vain, so that she was forced to apply the 
 last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess no object ever 
 disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which 
 I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader 
 an idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, 
 and could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple 
 was about half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that 
 and the dug, so varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that 
 nothing could appear more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, 
 she sitting down, the more conveniently to give suck, and I 
 standing on the table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of 
 our English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because 
 they are of our own size, and their defects not to be seen but 
 through a magnifying glass, where we find by experiment that the 
 smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse, and ill-coloured. 
 I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those 
 diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the world, and 
 talking upon this subject with a person of learning there, who was 
 an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face appeared much 
 fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground, than 
 it did upon a nearer view, when I took him up in my hand, and. 
 brought him close, which he confessed was at first a very 
 shocking sight. He said, 'he could discover great holes in my skin, 
 that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than the 
 bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colours 
 altogether disagreeable:' although I must beg leave to say for 
 myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very 
 little sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of 
 the ladies in that emperor's court, he used to tell me, 'one had 
 freckles, another too wide a mouth, a third too large a nose,' 
 nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection 
 was obvious enough, which, however, I could not forbear, lest the 
 reader might think those vast creatures were actually deformed: 
 for I must do them the justice to say, they are a comely race of 
 people, and particularly the features of my master's countenance, 
 although he was but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height 
 of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned. 
 When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, 
 as I could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict 
 charge to take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to 
 sleep, which my mistress perceiving, she put me on her own bed, 
 and covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but larger and 
 coarser than the mainsail of a man-of-war. 
 I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my wife 
 and children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and 
 found myself alone in a vast room, between two and three 
 hundred feet wide, and above two hundred high, lying in a bed 
 twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about her household. 
 affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the 
 floor. Some natural necessities required me to get down, I durst 
 not presume to call, and if I had, it would have been in vain, with 
 such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room where I 
 lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I was under these 
 circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling 
 back-wards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost 
 to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger 
 to defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to 
 attack me on both sides, and one of them held his fore-feet at my 
 collar, but I had the good fortune to rip up his belly before he 
 could do me any mischief. He fell down at my feet, and the other, 
 seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without 
 one good wound on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and 
 made the blood run trickling from him. After this exploit, I 
 walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss 
 of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large mastiff, but 
 infinitely more nimble and fierce, so that if I had taken off my belt 
 before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces 
 and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to 
 be two yards long, wanting an inch, but it went against my 
 stomach to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding, 
 I observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the 
 neck, I thoroughly despatched it. 
 Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all 
 bloody, ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, 
 smiling, and making other signs to show I was not hurt, whereat 
 she was extremely rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead. 
 rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she 
 set me on a table, where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and 
 wiping it on the lappet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I 
 was pressed to do more than one thing which another could not do 
 for me, and therefore endeavoured to make my mistress 
 understand, that I desired to be set down on the floor, which after 
 she had done, my bashfulness would not suffer me to express 
 myself farther, than by pointing to the door, and bowing several 
 times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived 
 what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked 
 into the garden, where she set me down. I went on one side about 
 two hundred yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow 
 me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there 
 discharged the necessities of nature. 
 I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and 
 the like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear 
 to groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a philosopher to 
 enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the 
 benefit of public as well as private life, which was my sole design 
 in presenting this and other accounts of my travels to the world, 
 wherein I have been chiefly studious of truth, without affecting 
 any ornaments of learning or of style. But the whole scene of this 
 voyage made so strong an impression on my mind, and is so 
 deeply fixed in my memory, that, in committing it to paper I did 
 not omit one material circumstance: however, upon a strict 
 review, I blotted out several passages. Of less moment which. 
 were in my first copy, for fear of being censured as tedious and 
 trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without justice, 
 accused.. 



CHAPTER II.


 [A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a 
 market-town, and then to the metropolis. The particulars of his 
 journey.] 
 My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly 
 parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skilful in 
 dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the 
 baby's cradle for me against night: the cradle was put into a small 
 drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf 
 for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the time I staid with those 
 people, though made more convenient by degrees, as I began to 
 learn their language and make my wants known. This young girl 
 was so handy, that after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes 
 before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I never 
 gave her that trouble when she would let me do either myself. She 
 made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as 
 could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth, and these 
 she constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was 
 likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language: when I 
 pointed to any thing, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, 
 so that in a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind 
 to. She was very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, 
 being little for her age. She gave me the name of GRILDRIG,. 
 which the family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The 
 word imports what the Latins call NANUNCULUS, the Italians 
 HOMUNCELETINO, and the English MANNIKIN. To her I 
 chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted 
 while I was there, I called her my GLUMDALCLITCH, or little 
 nurse, and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I omitted this 
 honourable mention of her care and affection towards me, which I 
 heartily wish it lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead 
 of being the innocent, but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I 
 have too much reason to fear. 
 It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood, that 
 my master had found a strange animal in the field, about the 
 bigness of a SPLACNUCK, but exactly shaped in every part like a 
 human creature, which it likewise imitated in all its actions, 
 seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had already 
 learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was 
 tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do whatever it 
 was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a complexion fairer 
 than a nobleman's daughter of three years old. Another farmer, 
 who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master, came 
 on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I was 
 immediately produced, and placed upon a table, where I walked 
 as I was commanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my 
 reverence to my master's guest, asked him in his own language 
 how he did, and told him HE WAS WELCOME, just as my little 
 nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and dim-sighted, 
 put on his spectacles to behold me better, at which I could not 
 forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full. 
 moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who 
 discovered the cause of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, 
 at which the old fellow was fool enough to be angry and out of 
 countenance. He had the character of a great miser, and, to my 
 misfortune, he well deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my 
 master, to show me as a sight upon a market-day in the next town, 
 which was half an hour's riding, about two-and-twenty miles from 
 our house. I guessed there was some mischief when I observed my 
 master and his friend whispering together, sometimes pointing at 
 me, and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood 
 some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my 
 little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly 
 picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, 
 and fell a weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some 
 mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might 
 squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me in 
 their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my 
 nature, how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I 
 should conceive it, to be exposed for money as a public spectacle, 
 to the meanest of the people. She said, her papa and mamma had 
 promised that Grildrig should be hers, but now she found they 
 meant to serve her as they did last year, when they pretended to 
 give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a butcher. 
 For my own part, I may truly affirm, that I was less concerned 
 than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that I 
 should one day recover my liberty: and as to the ignominy of 
 being carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a 
 perfect stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could. 
 never be charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to 
 England, since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, 
 must have undergone the same distress. 
 My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a 
 box the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took along 
 with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. 
 The box was close on every side, with a little door for me to go in 
 and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so 
 careful as to put the quilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie 
 down on. However, I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this 
 journey, though it was but of half an hour: for the horse went 
 about forty feet at every step and trotted so high, that the agitation 
 was equal to the rising and falling of a ship in a great storm, but 
 much more frequent. Our journey was somewhat farther than 
 from London to St. Alban's. My master alighted at an inn which 
 he used to frequent, and after consulting awhile with the inn-keeper, 
 and making some necessary preparations, he hired the 
 GRULTRUD, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange 
 creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a 
 SPLACNUCK (an animal in that country very finely shaped, 
 about six feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a 
 human creature, could speak several words, and perform a 
 hundred diverting tricks. 
 I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which 
 might be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a 
 low stool close to the table, to take care of me, and direct what I 
 should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty. 
 people at a time to see me. I walked about on the table as the girl 
 commanded, she asked me questions, as far as she knew my 
 understanding of the language reached, and I answered them as 
 loud as I could. I turned about several times to the company, paid 
 my humble respects, said THEY WERE WELCOME, and used 
 some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled 
 with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and 
 drank their health, I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it 
 after the manner of fencers in England. My nurse gave me a part 
 of a straw, which I exercised as a pike, having learnt the art in my 
 youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of company, and as 
 often forced to act over again the same fopperies, till I was half 
 dead with weariness and vexation, for those who had seen me 
 made such wonderful reports, that the people were ready to break 
 down the doors to come in. My master, for his own interest, would 
 not suffer any one to touch me except my nurse, and to prevent 
 danger, benches were set round the table at such a distance as to 
 put me out of every body's reach. However, an unlucky school-boy 
 aimed a hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly 
 missed me, otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would 
 have infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large 
 as a small pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young 
 rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room. 
 My master gave public notice that he would show me again the 
 next market-day, and in the meantime he prepared a convenient 
 vehicle for me, which he had reason enough to do, for I was so 
 tired with my first journey, and with entertaining company for 
 eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon my legs, or. 
 speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my 
 strength, and that I might have no rest at home, all the 
 neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearing of 
 my fame, came to see me at my master's own house. There could 
 not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children (for 
 the country is very populous,) and my master demanded the rate 
 of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were 
 only to a single family, so that for some time I had but little ease 
 every day of the week (except Wednesday, which is their 
 Sabbath,) although I were not carried to the town. 
 My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to 
 carry me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having 
 therefore provided himself with all things necessary for a long 
 journey, and settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, 
 and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months after my 
 arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situate near the middle of 
 that empire, and about three thousand miles distance from our 
 house. My master made his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind 
 him. She carried me on her lap, in a box tied about her waist. The 
 girl had lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could get, 
 well quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby's bed, provided 
 me with linen and other necessaries, and made everything as 
 convenient as she could. We had no other company but a boy of 
 the house, who rode after us with the luggage. 
 My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way, 
 and to step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles, to any 
 village, or person of quality's house, where he might expect. 
 custom. We made easy journeys, of not above seven or eight score 
 miles a-day, for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, 
 complained she was tired with the trotting of the horse. She often 
 took me out of my box, at my own desire, to give me air, and 
 show me the country, but always held me fast by a leading-string. 
 We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees broader and 
 deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was hardly a rivulet 
 so small as the Thames at London-bridge. We were ten weeks in 
 our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns, besides 
 many villages, and private families. 
 On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in 
 their language LORBRULGRUD, or Pride of the Universe. My 
 master took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far 
 from the royal palace, and put out bills in the usual form, 
 containing an exact description of my person and parts. He hired a 
 large room between three and four hundred feet wide. He 
 provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my 
 part, and pallisadoed it round three feet from the edge, and as 
 many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shown ten times a-day, 
 to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now 
 speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every 
 word, that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their alphabet, 
 and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there, for 
 Glumdalclitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and 
 at leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her 
 pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas, it was a common. 
 treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their 
 religion: out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the 
 words.. 



CHAPTER III.


 [The author sent for to court. The queen buys him of his master 
 the farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his 
 majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the 
 author. He is in high favour with the queen. He stands up for the 
 honour of his own country. His quarrels with the queen's dwarf.] 
 The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few 
 weeks, a very considerable change in my health: the more my 
 master got by me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my 
 stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer 
 observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as 
 good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and 
 resolving with himself, a SARDRAL, or gentleman-usher, came 
 from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately 
 thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the 
 latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things of 
 my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty, and those 
 who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my 
 demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing 
 her imperial foot, but this gracious princess held out her little 
 finger towards me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced 
 in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to 
 my lip. She made me some general questions about my country. 
 and my travels, which I answered as distinctly, and in as few 
 words as I could. She asked, 'whether I could be content to live at 
 court?' I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly 
 answered 'that I was my master's slave: but, if I were at my own 
 disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty's 
 service.' She then asked my master, 'whether he was willing to 
 sell me at a good price?' He, who apprehended I could not live a 
 month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a 
 thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the spot, 
 each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred moidores, but 
 allowing for the proportion of all things between that country and 
 Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so 
 great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then 
 said to the queen, 'since I was now her majesty's most humble 
 creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, 
 who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and 
 understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, 
 and continue to be my nurse and instructor.' 
 Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's 
 consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at 
 court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My 
 late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left 
 me in a good service, to which I replied not a word, only making 
 him a slight bow. 
 The queen observed my coldness, and, when the farmer was gone 
 out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her 
 majesty, 'that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than. 
 his not dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature, found 
 by chance in his fields: which obligation was amply recompensed, 
 by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom, 
 and the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led 
 was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength. 
 That my health was much impaired, by the continual drudgery of 
 entertaining the rabble every hour of the day, and that, if my 
 master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not 
 have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being 
 ill-treated under the protection of so great and good an empress, 
 the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her 
 subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late master's 
 apprehensions would appear to be groundless, for I already found 
 my spirits revive, by the influence of her most august presence.' 
 This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties 
 and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style 
 peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from 
 Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to court. 
 The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in 
 speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense 
 in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and 
 carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His 
 majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not 
 well observing my shape at first view, asked the queen after a cold 
 manner 'how long it was since she grew fond of a 
 SPLACNUCK?' for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon 
 my breast in her majesty's right hand. But this princess, who has. 
 an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon 
 the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account 
 of myself, which I did in a very few words: and Glumdalclitch 
 who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be 
 out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had passed 
 from my arrival at her father's house. 
 The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his 
 dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and 
 particularly mathematics, yet when he observed my shape exactly, 
 and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might 
 be a piece of clock-work (which is in that country arrived to a 
 very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But 
 when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular 
 and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no 
 means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner I came 
 into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between 
 Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to 
 make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination, he put 
 several other questions to me, and still received rational answers: 
 no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect 
 knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which I had 
 learned at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style of a 
 court. 
 His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their 
 weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These 
 gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much 
 nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed. 
 that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of 
 nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my 
 life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in 
 the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with 
 great exactness, that I was a carnivorous animal, yet most 
 quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, with some 
 others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to 
 support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which 
 they offered, by many learned arguments, to evince that I could 
 not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might 
 be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by 
 the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished, 
 and that I had lived several years, as it was manifest from my 
 beard, the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a 
 magnifying glass. They would not allow me to be a dwarf, 
 because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison, for 
 the queen's favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that 
 kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they 
 concluded unanimously, that I was only RELPLUM SCALCATH, 
 which is interpreted literally LUSUS NATURAE, a determination 
 exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose 
 professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby 
 the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their 
 ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all 
 difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human 
 knowledge.. 
 After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or 
 two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, 'that I 
 came from a country which abounded with several millions of 
 both sexes, and of my own stature, where the animals, trees, and 
 houses, were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I 
 might be as able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any 
 of his majesty's subjects could do here, which I took for a full 
 answer to those gentlemen's arguments.' To this they only replied 
 with a smile of contempt, saying, 'that the farmer had instructed 
 me very well in my lesson.' The king, who had a much better 
 understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, 
 who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having 
 therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him 
 with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what 
 we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order 
 that a particular care should be taken of me, and was of opinion 
 that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending 
 me, because he observed we had a great affection for each other. 
 A convenient apartment was provided for her at court: she had a 
 sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid 
 to dress her, and two other servants for menial offices, but the care 
 of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded 
 her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for 
 a bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch and I should 
 agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according 
 to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber 
 of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with sash-windows, a 
 door, and two closets, like a London bed-chamber.. 
 The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted up and down by 
 two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty's 
 upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day to air, made 
 it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the 
 roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little 
 curiosities, undertook to make me two chairs, with backs and 
 frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two tables, with a 
 cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as 
 well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the 
 carelessness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a 
 jolt, when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to 
 prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after several 
 attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I 
 have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman's house in England. 
 I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing 
 Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the 
 thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much 
 thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was 
 accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, 
 partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a 
 very grave and decent habit. 
 The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not 
 dine without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her 
 majesty ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. 
 Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to assist 
 and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates, 
 and other necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen, 
 were not much bigger than what I have seen in a London toy-shop. 
 for the furniture of a baby-house: these my little nurse kept in her 
 pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, 
 always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but 
 the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the 
 younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put 
 a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for 
 myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in miniature: for the 
 queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up, at one 
 mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, 
 which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would 
 craunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, 
 although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey, 
 and put a bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny 
 loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a 
 draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight 
 upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments, were 
 all in the same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch 
 carried me, out of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court, 
 where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives and forks were 
 lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld so terrible 
 a sight. 
 It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, 
 is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both 
 sexes, dine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I 
 was now become a great favourite, and at these times, my little 
 chair and table were placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-cellars. 
 This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me, 
 inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and. 
 learning of Europe, wherein I gave him the best account I was 
 able. His apprehension was so clear, and his judgment so exact, 
 that he made very wise reflections and observations upon all I 
 said. But I confess, that, after I had been a little too copious in 
 talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea 
 and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state, the 
 prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not 
 forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently 
 with the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, 'whether I 
 was a whig or tory?' Then turning to his first minister, who waited 
 behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the 
 Royal Sovereign, he observed 'how contemptible a thing was 
 human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive 
 insects as I: and yet,' says he, 'I dare engage these creatures have 
 their titles and distinctions of honour, they contrive little nests and 
 burrows, that they call houses and cities, they make a figure in 
 dress and equipage, they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, 
 they betray!' And thus he continued on, while my colour came 
 and went several times, with indignation, to hear our noble 
 country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the 
 arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, the 
 pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated. 
 But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature 
 thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after 
 having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse 
 of this people, and observed every object upon which I cast mine 
 eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I had at first 
 conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I. 
 had then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their 
 finery and birth-day clothes, acting their several parts in the most 
 courtly manner of strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the 
 truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much at 
 them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, 
 could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen used to place 
 me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our 
 persons appeared before me in full view together, and there could 
 be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison, so that I really 
 began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual 
 size. 
 Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's dwarf, 
 who being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I 
 verily think he was not full thirty feet high), became so insolent at 
 seeing a creature so much beneath him, that he would always 
 affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in the queen's 
 antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking with the 
 lords or ladies of the court, and he seldom failed of a smart word 
 or two upon my littleness, against which I could only revenge 
 myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and 
 such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One 
 day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with 
 something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame 
 of her majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was 
 sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large 
 silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell 
 over head and ears, and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it 
 might have gone very hard with me, for Glumdalclitch in that. 
 instant happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen 
 was in such a fright, that she wanted presence of mind to assist 
 me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I 
 had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed: however, 
 I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which 
 was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipt, and as a 
 farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into 
 which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to favour, 
 for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so 
 that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction, for I could 
 not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might have 
 carried his resentment. 
 He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing, 
 although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and 
 would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so 
 generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone 
 upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the 
 bone again in the dish erect, as it stood before, the dwarf, 
 watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the 
 side-board, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me 
 at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs 
 together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, 
 where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I 
 believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was 
 become of me, for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes 
 seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my 
 stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my 
 entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.. 
 I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my 
 fearfulness, and she used to ask me whether the people of my 
 country were as great cowards as myself? The occasion was this: 
 the kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer, and these 
 odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly 
 gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual 
 humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimes 
 alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement, or 
 spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the 
 natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as 
 mine, in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon 
 my nose, or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling 
 very offensively, and I could easily trace that viscous matter, 
 which, our naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk with 
 their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend 
 myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear 
 starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice 
 of the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as 
 schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under my 
 nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy 
 was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in the air, 
 wherein my dexterity was much admired. 
 I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a 
 box upon a window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air 
 (for I durst not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the 
 window, as we do with cages in England), after I had lifted up one 
 of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a piece of sweet. 
 cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the smell, 
 came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as 
 many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake, and carried it 
 piecemeal away, others flew about my head and face, 
 confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the utmost 
 terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw 
 my hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, 
 but the rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These 
 insects were as large as partridges: I took out their stings, found 
 them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully 
 preserved them all, and having since shown them, with some 
 other curiosities, in several parts of Europe, upon my return to 
 England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the 
 fourth for myself.. 



CHAPTER IV.


 [The country described. A proposal for correcting modern maps. 
 The king's palace, and some account of the metropolis. The 
 author's way of travelling. The chief temple described.] 
 I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, 
 as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand miles 
 round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the queen, whom I always 
 attended, never went farther when she accompanied the king in 
 his progresses, and there staid till his majesty returned from 
 viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this prince's dominions 
 reaches about six thousand miles in length, and from three to five 
 in breadth: whence I cannot but conclude, that our geographers of 
 Europe are in a great error, by supposing nothing but sea between 
 Japan and California, for it was ever my opinion, that there must 
 be a balance of earth to counterpoise the great continent of 
 Tartary, and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts, 
 by joining this vast tract of land to the north-west parts of 
 America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance. 
 The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a 
 ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether 
 impassable, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do 
 the most learned know what sort of mortals inhabit beyond those. 
 mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three other 
 sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one sea-port in the 
 whole kingdom: and those parts of the coasts into which the rivers 
 issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and the sea generally so rough, 
 that there is no venturing with the smallest of their boats, so that 
 these people are wholly excluded from any commerce with the 
 rest of the world. But the large rivers are full of vessels, and 
 abound with excellent fish, for they seldom get any from the sea, 
 because the sea fish are of the same size with those in Europe, and 
 consequently not worth catching, whereby it is manifest, that 
 nature, in the production of plants and animals of so extraordinary 
 a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the 
 reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and then 
 they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks, 
 which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have 
 known so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his 
 shoulders, and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in 
 hampers to Lorbrulgrud, I saw one of them in a dish at the king's 
 table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond 
 of it, for I think, indeed, the bigness disgusted him, although I 
 have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland. 
 The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near 
 a hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy 
 my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. 
 This city stands upon almost two equal parts, on each side the 
 river that passes through. It contains above eighty thousand 
 houses, and about six hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length 
 three GLOMGLUNGS (which make about fifty-four English. 
 miles,) and two and a half in breadth, as I measured it myself in 
 the royal map made by the king's order, which was laid on the 
 ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet: I paced 
 the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and, 
 computing by the scale, measured it pretty exactly. 
 The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings, 
 about seven miles round: the chief rooms are generally two 
 hundred and forty feet high, and broad and long in proportion. A 
 coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her 
 governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among 
 the shops, and I was always of the party, carried in my box, 
 although the girl, at my own desire, would often take me out, and 
 hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view the 
 houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned 
 our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall, but not 
 altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact. One day the 
 governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where 
 the beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of 
 the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacle that ever a 
 European eye beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her 
 breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of 
 which I could have easily crept, and covered my whole body. 
 There was a fellow with a wen in his neck, larger than five wool-packs, 
 and another, with a couple of wooden legs, each about 
 twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of all, was the lice 
 crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of these 
 vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a European 
 louse through a microscope, and their snouts with which they. 
 rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I 
 should have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had 
 had proper instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the 
 ship, although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly 
 turned my stomach. 
 Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen 
 ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet 
 square, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling, because 
 the other was somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch's lap, and 
 cumbersome in the coach, it was made by the same artist, whom I 
 directed in the whole contrivance. This travelling-closet was an 
 exact square, with a window in the middle of three of the squares, 
 and each window was latticed with iron wire on the outside, to 
 prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side, which had 
 no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the 
 person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put 
 a leathern belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always 
 the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide, 
 whether I attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were 
 disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or 
 minister of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened to be 
 out of order, for I soon began to be known and esteemed among 
 the greatest officers, I suppose more upon account of their 
 majesties' favour, than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I 
 was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would buckle on 
 my box, and place it upon a cushion before him, and there I had a 
 full prospect of the country on three sides, from my three 
 windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a hammock, hung. 
 from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the 
 floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or 
 the coach. And having been long used to sea-voyages, those 
 motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much 
 discompose me. 
 Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my 
 travelling-closet, which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of 
 open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four men, 
 and attended by two others in the queen's livery. The people, who 
 had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the 
 sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers 
 stop, and to take me in her hand, that I might be more 
 conveniently seen. 
 I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the 
 tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the 
 kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I 
 may truly say I came back disappointed, for the height is not 
 above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the 
 highest pinnacle top, which, allowing for the difference between 
 the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great matter for 
 admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly remember) to 
 Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a nation, to which, 
 during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it 
 must be allowed, that whatever this famous tower wants in height, 
 is amply made up in beauty and strength: for the walls are near a 
 hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about 
 forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of gods and. 
 emperors, cut in marble, larger than the life, placed in their several 
 niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from one 
 of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and 
 found it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch 
 wrapped it up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her 
 pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of which the girl was very 
 fond, as children at her age usually are. 
 The king's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and 
 about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten 
 paces, as the cupola at St. Paul's: for I measured the latter on 
 purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen 
 grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on 
 the spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly 
 believed, at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a 
 little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which 
 censure I fear I have run too much into the other extreme, and that 
 if this treatise should happen to be translated into the language of 
 Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and 
 transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to 
 complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and diminutive 
 representation. 
 His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables: 
 they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But, when he 
 goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military 
 guard of five hundred horse, which, indeed, I thought was the 
 most splendid sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw part of his 
 army in battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak... 



CHAPTER V.


 [Several adventurers that happened to the author. The execution of 
 a criminal. The author shows his skill in navigation.] 
 I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness 
 had not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome 
 accidents, some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch 
 often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box, 
 and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold me in her hand, 
 or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the 
 queen, he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse 
 having set me down, he and I being close together, near some 
 dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a silly allusion 
 between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their 
 language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue, 
 watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, 
 shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of 
 them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my 
 ears, one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and 
 knocked me down flat on my face, but I received no other hurt, 
 and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the 
 provocation.. 
 Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to 
 divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her 
 governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent 
 shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it, struck to 
 the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such 
 cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennis-balls, 
 however, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and shelter 
 myself, by lying flat on my face, on the lee-side of a border of 
 lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to foot, that I could not go 
 abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because 
 nature, in that country, observing the same proportion through all 
 her operations, a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large 
 as one in Europe, which I can assert upon experience, having been 
 so curious as to weigh and measure them. 
 But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same 
 garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure 
 place (which I often entreated her to do, that I might enjoy my 
 own thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid the 
 trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her 
 governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was 
 absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged to 
 one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden, 
 happened to range near the place where I lay: the dog, following 
 the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran 
 straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the 
 ground. By good fortune he had been so well taught, that I was 
 carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing 
 my clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me well, and had a. 
 great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright: he gently took me 
 up in both his hands, and asked me how I did? but I was so 
 amazed and out of breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few 
 minutes I came to myself, and he carried me safe to my little 
 nurse, who, by this time, had returned to the place where she left 
 me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer 
 when she called. She severely reprimanded the gardener on 
 account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known 
 at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's anger, and truly, as 
 to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation, that such a 
 story should go about. 
 This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust 
 me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of 
 this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little 
 unlucky adventures, that happened in those times when I was left 
 by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at 
 me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a 
 thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his 
 talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh mole-hill, I fell 
 to my neck in the hole, through which that animal had cast up the 
 earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse 
 myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my right shin 
 against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I 
 was walking alone and thinking on poor England. 
 I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, 
 in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be 
 at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance,. 
 looking for worms and other food, with as much indifference and 
 security as if no creature at all were near them. I remember, a 
 thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand, with his bill, a 
 of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. 
 When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly 
 turn against me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst 
 not venture within their reach, and then they would hop back 
 unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they did before. But 
 one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my strength so 
 luckily, at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by 
 the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my 
 nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering 
 himself gave me so many boxes with his wings, on both sides of 
 my head and body, though I held him at arm's-length, and was out 
 of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let 
 him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who 
 wrung off the bird's neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by 
 the queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, 
 seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan. 
 The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their 
 apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on 
 purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They 
 would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full 
 length in their bosoms, wherewith I was much disgusted because, 
 to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins, 
 which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those 
 excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect, but I 
 conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my. 
 littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more 
 disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of the 
 same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I found their 
 natural smell was much more supportable, than when they used 
 perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot 
 forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took the freedom 
 in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, to 
 complain of a strong smell about me, although I am as little faulty 
 that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his faculty of smelling 
 was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people. 
 Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing justice to the queen my 
 mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse, whose persons were as 
 sweet as those of any lady in England. 
 That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of 
 honour (when my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them 
 use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had 
 no sort of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the 
 skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed 
 on their toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am sure 
 to me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me 
 any other emotions than those of horror and disgust: their skins 
 appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I saw 
 them near, with a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and 
 hairs hanging from it thicker than packthreads, to say nothing 
 farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all 
 scruple, while I was by, to discharge what they had drank, to the 
 quantity of at least two hogsheads, in a vessel that held above 
 three tuns. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a. 
 pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me 
 astride upon one of her nipples, with many other tricks, wherein 
 the reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was 
 so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive 
 some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more. 
 One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's 
 governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was 
 of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate 
 acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the 
 company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally 
 tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind 
 of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I 
 thought must be extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a 
 chair upon a scaffold erected for that purpose, and his head cut off 
 at one blow, with a sword of about forty feet long. The veins and 
 arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so 
 high in the air, that the great JET D'EAU at Versailles was not 
 equal to it for the time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the 
 scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I 
 was at least half an English mile distant. 
 The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages, 
 and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked 
 me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and 
 whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for my 
 health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for although 
 my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the 
 ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common. 
 mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in their 
 country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a first-rate man 
 of war among us, and such a boat as I could manage would never 
 live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrive a 
 boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a 
 place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and 
 by my instructions, in ten days, finished a pleasure-boat with all 
 its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it 
 was finished, the queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in 
 her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of 
 water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my 
 two sculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had 
 before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a 
 wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight 
 deep, which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking, was placed on 
 the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a 
 cock near the bottom to let out the water, when it began to grow 
 stale, and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I 
 often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the 
 queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained 
 with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and 
 then my business was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a 
 gale with their fans, and, when they were weary, some of their 
 pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I 
 showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased. 
 When I had done, Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into 
 her closet, and hung it on a nail to dry.. 
 In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to have cost 
 me my life, for, one of the pages having put my boat into the 
 trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very 
 officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I happened to 
 slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have fallen down 
 forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I 
 had not been stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good 
 gentlewoman's stomacher, the head of the pin passing between 
 my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and thus I was held by 
 the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief. 
 Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my 
 trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a 
 huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail. The frog lay 
 concealed till I was put into my boat, but then, seeing a resting-place, 
 climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I 
 was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to 
 prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it hopped at once 
 half the length of the boat, and then over my head, backward and 
 forward, daubing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The 
 largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed animal 
 that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me 
 deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls, 
 and at last forced it to leap out of the boat. 
 But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was 
 from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. 
 Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while she went 
 somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being very. 
 warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the windows 
 and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because 
 of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my 
 table, I heard something bounce in at the closet-window, and skip 
 about from one side to the other: whereat, although I was much 
 alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my seat, 
 and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and 
 down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view 
 with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every 
 window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room, or box, but 
 the monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I 
 wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I 
 might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping, 
 grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me, and reaching one of 
 his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse, 
 although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the 
 lappet of my coat (which being made of that country silk, was 
 very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took me up in his 
 right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child she is going to 
 suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a 
 kitten in Europe, and when I offered to struggle he squeezed me 
 so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good 
 reason to believe, that he took me for a young one of his own 
 species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other 
 paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet 
 door, as if somebody were opening it: whereupon he suddenly 
 leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence 
 upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three legs, and holding 
 me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to. 
 ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was 
 carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter 
 of the palace was all in an uproar, the servants ran for ladders, the 
 monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge 
 of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws, and 
 feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some 
 victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps, 
 and patting me when I would not eat, whereat many of the rabble 
 below could not forbear laughing, neither do I think they justly 
 ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was ridiculous 
 enough to every body but myself. Some of the people threw up 
 stones, hoping to drive the monkey down, but this was strictly 
 forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been dashed out. 
 The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men, 
 which the monkey observing, and finding himself almost 
 encompassed, not being able to make speed enough with his three 
 legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I sat 
 for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting 
 every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my 
 own giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge 
 to the eaves, but an honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen, 
 climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me 
 down safe. 
 I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had 
 crammed down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out of 
 my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which 
 gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides. 
 with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was 
 forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the 
 court, sent every day to inquire after my health, and her majesty 
 made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was 
 killed, and an order made, that no such animal should be kept 
 about the palace. 
 When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks 
 for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this 
 adventure. He asked me, 'what my thoughts and speculations 
 were, while I lay in the monkey's paw, how I liked the victuals he 
 gave me, his manner of feeding, and whether the fresh air on the 
 roof had sharpened my stomach.' He desired to know, 'what I 
 would have done upon such an occasion in my own country.' I 
 told his majesty, 'that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such 
 as were brought for curiosity from other places, and so small, that 
 I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to 
 attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so 
 lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears 
 had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hanger,' 
 (looking fiercely, and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke) 
 'when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have 
 given him such a wound, as would have made him glad to 
 withdraw it with more haste than he put it in.' This I delivered in a 
 firm tone, like a person who was jealous lest his courage should 
 be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else 
 beside a laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty 
 from those about him could not make them contain. This made 
 me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do. 
 himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality 
 or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own 
 behaviour very frequent in England since my return, where a little 
 contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or 
 common sense, shall presume to look with importance, and put 
 himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom. 
 I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story: 
 and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was arch 
 enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any folly that 
 she thought would be diverting to her majesty. The girl, who had 
 been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air 
 about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They alighted 
 out of the coach near a small foot-path in a field, and 
 Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I went out of it to 
 walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need try my 
 activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but 
 unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle 
 up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of 
 the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, 
 for I was filthily bemired, and my nurse confined me to my box, 
 till we returned home, where the queen was soon informed of 
 what had passed, and the footmen spread it about the court: so that 
 all the mirth for some days was at my expense.. 



CHAPTER VI.


 [Several contrivances of the author to please the king and queen. 
 He shows his skill in music. The king inquires into the state of 
 England, which the author relates to him. The king's observations 
 thereon.] 
 I used to attend the king's levee once or twice a week, and had 
 often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first 
 very terrible to behold, for the razor was almost twice as long as 
 an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the 
 country, was only shaved twice a-week. I once prevailed on the 
 barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked 
 forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of 
 fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several 
 holes in it at equal distances with as small a needle as I could get 
 from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping 
 and sloping them with my knife toward the points, that I made a 
 very tolerable comb, which was a seasonable supply, my own 
 being so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless: 
 neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as 
 would undertake to make me another.. 
 And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many 
 of my leisure hours. I desired the queen's woman to save for me 
 the combings of her majesty's hair, whereof in time I got a good 
 quantity, and consulting with my friend the cabinet-maker, who 
 had received general orders to do little jobs for me, I directed him 
 to make two chair-frames, no larger than those I had in my box, 
 and to bore little holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I 
 designed the backs and seats, through these holes I wove the 
 strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane 
 chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a present of 
 them to her majesty, who kept them in her cabinet, and used to 
 show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of 
 every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon 
 one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting 
 I would rather die than place a dishonourable part of my body on 
 those precious hairs, that once adorned her majesty's head. Of 
 these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made 
 a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name 
 deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the 
 queen's consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than use, 
 being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and 
 therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are 
 fond of. 
 The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, 
 to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to 
 hear them: but the noise was so great that I could hardly 
 distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums and 
 trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at. 
 your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box 
 removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I 
 could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the 
 window curtains, after which I found their music not disagreeable. 
 I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. 
 Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended 
 twice a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it somewhat 
 resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the same 
 manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the 
 king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But 
 this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet was near sixty feet 
 long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with my arms 
 extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them 
 down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be 
 too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was 
 this: I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common 
 cudgels, they were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered 
 the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by rapping on 
 them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the 
 sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet 
 below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon 
 it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys 
 with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great 
 satisfaction of both their majesties, but it was the most violent 
 exercise I ever underwent, and yet I could not strike above sixteen 
 keys, nor consequently play the bass and treble together, as other 
 artists do, which was a great disadvantage to my performance.. 
 The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent 
 understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in 
 my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he would then 
 command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit 
 down within three yards distance upon the top of the cabinet, 
 which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I 
 had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to 
 tell his majesty, 'that the contempt he discovered towards Europe, 
 and the rest of the world, did not seem answerable to those 
 excellent qualities of mind that he was master of, that reason did 
 not extend itself with the bulk of the body, on the contrary, we 
 observed in our country, that the tallest persons were usually the 
 least provided with it, that among other animals, bees and ants had 
 the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the 
 larger kinds, and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I 
 hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service.' The 
 king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better 
 opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired 'I would give 
 him as exact an account of the government of England as I 
 possibly could, because, as fond as princes commonly are of their 
 own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my 
 former discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that 
 might deserve imitation.' 
 Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished 
 for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled 
 me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style 
 equal to its merits and felicity.. 
 I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our 
 dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three 
 mighty kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in 
 America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and the 
 temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the 
 constitution of an English parliament, partly made up of an 
 illustrious body called the House of Peers, persons of the noblest 
 blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described 
 that extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and 
 arms, to qualify them for being counsellors both to the king and 
 kingdom, to have a share in the legislature, to be members of the 
 highest court of judicature, whence there can be no appeal, and to 
 be champions always ready for the defence of their prince and 
 country, by their valour, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the 
 ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their 
 most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of 
 their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to 
 degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of 
 that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business 
 is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people 
 therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole 
 nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of 
 the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the 
 sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition, who were 
 indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people. 
 That the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly 
 called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, 
 freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their. 
 great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of 
 the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most 
 august assembly in Europe, to whom, in conjunction with the 
 prince, the whole legislature is committed. 
 I then descended to the courts of justice, over which the judges, 
 those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for 
 determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as 
 for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I 
 mentioned the prudent management of our treasury, the valour 
 and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the 
 number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there 
 might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did 
 not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular 
 which I thought might redound to the honour of my country. And I 
 finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in 
 England for about a hundred years past. 
 This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of 
 several hours, and the king heard the whole with great attention, 
 frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums 
 of what questions he intended to ask me. 
 When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty, in a 
 sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, 
 queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, 'What 
 methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young 
 nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the 
 first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to. 
 supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct? 
 What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created 
 new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a 
 court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the 
 public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those 
 advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the 
 laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable 
 them to decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in the last 
 resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice, 
 partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view, 
 could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I 
 spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of their 
 knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives, had 
 never been compliers with the times, while they were common 
 priests, or slavish prostitute chaplains to some nobleman, whose 
 opinions they continued servilely to follow, after they were 
 admitted into that assembly?' 
 He then desired to know, 'What arts were practised in electing 
 those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with a strong 
 purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him before 
 their own landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the 
 neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that people were so 
 violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to 
 be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, 
 without any salary or pension? because this appeared such an 
 exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed 
 to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.'. 
 And he desired to know, 'Whether such zealous gentlemen could 
 have any views of refunding themselves for the charges and 
 trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs 
 of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted 
 ministry?' He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly 
 upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and 
 objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat. 
 Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty 
 desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I was the better 
 able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in 
 chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, 'What 
 time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong, 
 and what degree of expense? Whether advocates and orators had 
 liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust, 
 vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion or politics, 
 were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice? Whether 
 those pleading orators were persons educated in the general 
 knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other 
 local customs? Whether they or their judges had any part in 
 penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of 
 interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure? Whether they 
 had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same 
 cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions? Whether 
 they were a rich or a poor corporation? Whether they received any 
 pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions? And 
 particularly, whether they were ever admitted as members in the 
 lower senate?'. 
 He fell next upon the management of our treasury, and said, 'he 
 thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes 
 at about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to mention 
 the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than 
 double, for the notes he had taken were very particular in this 
 point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our 
 conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in 
 his calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still at a 
 loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private 
 person.' He asked me, 'who were our creditors, and where we 
 found money to pay them?' He wondered to hear me talk of such 
 chargeable and expensive wars, 'that certainly we must be a 
 quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that 
 our generals must needs be richer than our kings.' He asked, what 
 business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of 
 trade, or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet?' Above all, 
 he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in 
 the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said, 'if we were 
 governed by our own consent, in the persons of our 
 representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or 
 against whom we were to fight, and would hear my opinion, 
 whether a private man's house might not be better defended by 
 himself, his children, and family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, 
 picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might 
 get a hundred times more by cutting their throats?' 
 He laughed at my 'odd kind of arithmetic,' as he was pleased to 
 call it, 'in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation 
 drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics.'. 
 He said, 'he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions 
 prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should 
 not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any 
 government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce 
 the second: for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his 
 closet, but not to vend them about for cordials.' 
 He observed, 'that among the diversions of our nobility and 
 gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age 
 this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid 
 down, how much of their time it employed, whether it ever went 
 so high as to affect their fortunes, whether mean, vicious people, 
 by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and 
 sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as 
 habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the 
 improvement of their minds, and force them, by the losses they 
 received, to learn and practise that infamous dexterity upon 
 others?' 
 He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave him 
 of our affairs during the last century, protesting 'it was only a 
 heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, 
 banishments, the very worst effects that avarice, faction, 
 hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, 
 lust, malice, and ambition, could produce.' 
 His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate 
 the sum of all I had spoken, compared the questions he made with 
 the answers I had given, then taking me into his hands, and. 
 stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall 
 never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: 'My little friend 
 Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your 
 country, you have clearly proved, that ignorance, idleness, and 
 vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator, that 
 laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose 
 interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding 
 them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in 
 its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and 
 the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not 
 appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required 
 toward the procurement of any one station among you, much less, 
 that men are ennobled on account of their virtue, that priests are 
 advanced for their piety or learning, soldiers, for their conduct or 
 valour, judges, for their integrity, senators, for the love of their 
 country, or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself,' 
 continued the king, 'who have spent the greatest part of your life 
 in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have 
 escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have gathered 
 from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains 
 wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of 
 your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin 
 that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.'. 



CHAPTER VII.


 [The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much 
 advantage to the king, which is rejected. The king's great 
 ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect 
 and confined. The laws, and military affairs, and parties in the 
 state.] 
 Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me 
 from concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover 
 my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule, and I 
 was forced to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved 
 country was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of 
 my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given: but 
 this prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every 
 particular, that it could not consist either with gratitude or good 
 manners, to refuse giving him what satisfaction I was able. Yet 
 thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication, that I 
 artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point a 
 more favourable turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of truth 
 would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to 
 my own country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much 
 justice, recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties and 
 deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and. 
 beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere 
 endeavour in those many discourses I had with that monarch, 
 although it unfortunately failed of success. 
 But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly 
 secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be 
 altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most 
 prevail in other nations: the want of which knowledge will ever 
 produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of thinking, 
 from which we, and the politer countries of Europe, are wholly 
 exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote a prince's 
 notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a standard for all 
 mankind. 
 To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the 
 miserable effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a 
 passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate 
 myself further into his majesty's favour, I told him of 'an 
 invention, discovered between three and four hundred years ago, 
 to make a certain powder, into a heap of which, the smallest spark 
 of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a moment, although it 
 were as big as a mountain, and make it all fly up in the air 
 together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That a 
 proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass 
 or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead, 
 with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its 
 force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only 
 destroy whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest 
 walls to the ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in. 
 each, to the bottom of the sea, and when linked together by a 
 chain, would cut through masts and rigging, divide hundreds of 
 bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That we often 
 put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and discharged 
 them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would 
 rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw 
 splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all who came 
 near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap and 
 common, I understood the manner of compounding them, and 
 could direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size 
 proportionable to all other things in his majesty's kingdom, and 
 the largest need not be above a hundred feet long, twenty or thirty 
 of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and 
 balls, would batter down the walls of the strongest town in his 
 dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever 
 it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands.' This I 
 humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of 
 acknowledgment, in turn for so many marks that I had received, 
 of his royal favour and protection. 
 The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of 
 those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. 'He was 
 amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I' (these 
 were his expressions) 'could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in 
 so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at all the 
 scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the 
 common effects of those destructive machines, whereof,' he said, 
 'some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the first 
 contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although few things. 
 delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet 
 he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a 
 secret, which he commanded me, as I valued any life, never to 
 mention any more.' 
 A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a prince 
 possessed of every quality which procures veneration, love, and 
 esteem, of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, 
 endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored by his 
 subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in 
 Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put into 
 his hands that would have made him absolute master of the lives, 
 the liberties, and the fortunes of his people! Neither do I say this, 
 with the least intention to detract from the many virtues of that 
 excellent king, whose character, I am sensible, will, on this 
 account, be very much lessened in the opinion of an English 
 reader: but I take this defect among them to have risen from their 
 ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a science, 
 as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember very 
 well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to 
 say, 'there were several thousand books among us written upon 
 the art of government,' it gave him (directly contrary to my 
 intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings. He 
 professed both to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement, 
 and intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what 
 I meant by secrets of state, where an enemy, or some rival nation, 
 were not in the case. He confined the knowledge of governing 
 within very narrow bounds, to common sense and reason, to 
 justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and. 
 criminal causes, with some other obvious topics, which are not 
 worth considering. And he gave it for his opinion, 'that whoever 
 could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon 
 a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve 
 better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, 
 than the whole race of politicians put together.' 
 The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in 
 morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be 
 allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what 
 may be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all 
 mechanical arts, so that among us, it would be little esteemed. 
 And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could 
 never drive the least conception into their heads. 
 No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters 
 in their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But 
 indeed few of them extend even to that length. They are expressed 
 in the most plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not 
 mercurial enough to discover above one interpretation: and to 
 write a comment upon any law, is a capital crime. As to the 
 decision of civil causes, or proceedings against criminals, their 
 precedents are so few, that they have little reason to boast of any 
 extraordinary skill in either. 
 They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out 
 of mind: but their libraries are not very large, for that of the king, 
 which is reckoned the largest, does not amount to above a 
 thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet. 
 long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I pleased. The 
 queen's joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch's rooms, a 
 kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a 
 standing ladder, the steps were each fifty feet long. It was indeed a 
 moveable pair of stairs, the lowest end placed at ten feet distance 
 from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was 
 put up leaning against the wall: I first mounted to the upper step of 
 the ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began at the top 
 of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or ten 
 paces, according to the length of the lines, till I had gotten a little 
 below the level of mine eyes, and then descending gradually till I 
 came to the bottom: after which I mounted again, and began the 
 other page in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which 
 I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff 
 as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or 
 twenty feet long. 
 Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid, for they 
 avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using 
 various expressions. I have perused many of their books, 
 especially those in history and morality. Among the rest, I was 
 much diverted with a little old treatise, which always lay in 
 Glumdalclitch's bed chamber, and belonged to her governess, a 
 grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of morality and 
 devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human kind, and is 
 in little esteem, except among the women and the vulgar. 
 However, I was curious to see what an author of that country 
 could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the 
 usual topics of European moralists, showing 'how diminutive,. 
 contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his own nature, 
 how unable to defend himself from inclemencies of the air, or the 
 fury of wild beasts: how much he was excelled by one creature in 
 strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a fourth in 
 industry.' He added, 'that nature was degenerated in these latter 
 declining ages of the world, and could now produce only small 
 abortive births, in comparison of those in ancient times.' He said 
 'it was very reasonable to think, not only that the species of men 
 were originally much larger, but also that there must have been 
 giants in former ages, which, as it is asserted by history and 
 tradition, so it has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls, 
 casually dug up in several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the 
 common dwindled race of men in our days.' He argued, 'that the 
 very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been 
 made, in the beginning of a size more large and robust, not so 
 liable to destruction from every little accident, of a tile falling 
 from a house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being 
 drowned in a little brook.' From this way of reasoning, the author 
 drew several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but 
 needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid 
 reflecting how universally this talent was spread, of drawing 
 lectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of discontent and 
 repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I believe, 
 upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-grounded 
 among us as they are among that people. 
 As to their military affairs, they boast that the king's army consists 
 of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and thirty-two 
 thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which is made up. 
 of tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in the country, 
 whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry, without pay 
 or reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their exercises, and 
 under very good discipline, wherein I saw no great merit, for how 
 should it be otherwise, where every farmer is under the command 
 of his own landlord, and every citizen under that of the principal 
 men in his own city, chosen after the manner of Venice, by ballot? 
 I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise, 
 in a great field near the city of twenty miles square. They were in 
 all not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse, 
 but it was impossible for me to compute their number, considering 
 the space of ground they took up. A cavalier, mounted on a large 
 steed, might be about ninety feet high. I have seen this whole 
 body of horse, upon a word of command, draw their swords at 
 once, and brandish them in the air. 
 Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so 
 astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of lightning were 
 darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky. 
 I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there 
 is no access from any other country, came to think of armies, or to 
 teach his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon 
 informed, both by conversation and reading their histories, for, in 
 the course of many ages, they have been troubled with the same 
 disease to which the whole race of mankind is subject, the nobility 
 often contending for power, the people for liberty, and the king for 
 absolute dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the. 
 laws of that kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of 
 the three parties, and have more than once occasioned civil wars, 
 the last whereof was happily put an end to by this prince's grand-father, 
 in a general composition, and the militia, then settled with 
 common consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest duty.. 



CHAPTER VIII.


 [The king and queen make a progress to the frontiers. The author 
 attends them. The manner in which he leaves the country very 
 particularly related. He returns to England.] 
 I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover my 
 liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or 
 to form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in 
 which I sailed, was the first ever known to be driven within sight 
 of that coast, and the king had given strict orders, that if at any 
 time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its 
 crew and passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was 
 strongly bent to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I 
 might propagate the breed: but I think I should rather have died 
 than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity to be kept in 
 cages, like tame canary-birds, and perhaps, in time, sold about the 
 kingdom, to persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed 
 treated with much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king 
 and queen, and the delight of the whole court, but it was upon 
 such a foot as ill became the dignity of humankind. I could never 
 forget those domestic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be 
 among people, with whom I could converse upon even terms, and 
 walk about the streets and fields without being afraid of being trod. 
 to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came 
 sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common, the 
 whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully relate. 
 I had now been two years in this country, and about the beginning 
 of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen, in a 
 progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I was carried, as usual, 
 in my travelling-box, which as I have already described, was a 
 very convenient closet, of twelve feet wide. And I had ordered a 
 hammock to be fixed, by silken ropes from the four corners at the 
 top, to break the jolts, when a servant carried me before him on 
 horseback, as I sometimes desired, and would often sleep in my 
 hammock, while we were upon the road. On the roof of my closet, 
 not directly over the middle of the hammock, I ordered the joiner 
 to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hot weather, as 
 I slept, which hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drew 
 backward and forward through a groove. 
 When we came to our journey's end, the king thought proper to 
 pass a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within 
 eighteen English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were 
 much fatigued: I had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so 
 ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to see the ocean, 
 which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever it should 
 happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was, and desired 
 leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a page, whom I was very 
 fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall 
 never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented, 
 nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me,. 
 bursting at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some 
 forboding of what was to happen. The boy took me out in my box, 
 about half an hours walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the 
 seashore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my 
 sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I 
 found myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to 
 take a nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I 
 got in, and the boy shut the window close down, to keep out the 
 cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, while I slept, 
 the page, thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks 
 to look for birds' eggs, having before observed him from my 
 window searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts. 
 Be that as it will, I found myself suddenly awaked with a violent 
 pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the top of my box for the 
 conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in the air, 
 and then borne forward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had 
 like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but afterward the 
 motion was easy enough. I called out several times, as loud as I 
 could raise my voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards my 
 windows, and could see nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a 
 noise just over my head, like the clapping of wings, and then 
 began to perceive the woful condition I was in, that some eagle 
 had got the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall 
 on a rock, like a tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and 
 devour it: for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to 
 discover his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed 
 than I could be within a two-inch board.. 
 In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings to 
 increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a 
 sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought 
 given to the eagle (for such I am certain it must have been that 
 held the ring of my box in his beak), and then, all on a sudden, felt 
 myself falling perpendicularly down, for above a minute, but with 
 such incredible swiftness, that I almost lost my breath. My fall 
 was stopped by a terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears 
 than the cataract of Niagara, after which, I was quite in the dark 
 for another minute, and then my box began to rise so high, that I 
 could see light from the tops of the windows. I now perceived I 
 was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the 
 goods that were in, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength 
 at the four corners of the top and bottom, floated about five feet 
 deep in water. I did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle 
 which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three others, 
 and forced to let me drop, while he defended himself against the 
 rest, who hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at 
 the bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the 
 balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the 
 surface of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved, and the 
 door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which 
 kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with 
 much difficulty out of my hammock, having first ventured to draw 
 back the slip-board on the roof already mentioned, contrived on 
 purpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself almost 
 stifled.. 
 How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, 
 from whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say 
 with truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not 
 forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for 
 my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of her fortune. 
 Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater difficulties 
 and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting every moment to 
 see my box dashed to pieces, or at least overset by the first violent 
 blast, or rising wave. A breach in one single pane of glass would 
 have been immediate death: nor could any thing have preserved 
 the windows, but the strong lattice wires placed on the outside, 
 against accidents in travelling. I saw the water ooze in at several 
 crannies, although the leaks were not considerable, and I 
 endeavoured to stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift 
 up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have 
 done, and sat on the top of it, where I might at least preserve 
 myself some hours longer, than by being shut up (as I may call it) 
 in the hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what 
 could I expect but a miserable death of cold and hunger? I was 
 four hours under these circumstances, expecting, and indeed 
 wishing, every moment to be my last. 
 I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples 
 fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and into 
 which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would put 
 a leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist. Being in this 
 disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind 
 of grating noise on that side of my box where the staples were 
 fixed, and soon after I began to fancy that the box was pulled or. 
 towed along the sea, for I now and then felt a sort of tugging, 
 which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows, leaving 
 me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of relief, 
 although I was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. 
 I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always 
 fastened to the floor, and having made a hard shift to screw it 
 down again, directly under the slipping-board that I had lately 
 opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as near as I 
 could to the hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the 
 languages I understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick 
 I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several 
 times in the air, that if any boat or ship were near, the seamen 
 might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be shut up in the box. 
 I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my 
 closet to be moved along, and in the space of an hour, or better, 
 that side of the box where the staples were, and had no windows, 
 struck against something that was hard. I apprehended it to be a 
 rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a 
 noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the 
 grating of it as it passed through the ring. I then found myself 
 hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet higher than I was before. 
 Whereupon I again thrust up my stick and handkerchief, calling 
 for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great 
 shout repeated three times, giving me such transports of joy as are 
 not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a 
 trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the hole 
 with a loud voice, in the English tongue, 'If there be any body 
 below, let them speak.' I answered, 'I was an Englishman, drawn. 
 by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature 
 underwent, and begged, by all that was moving, to be delivered 
 out of the dungeon I was in.' The voice replied, 'I was safe, for 
 my box was fastened to their ship, and the carpenter should 
 immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large enough to 
 pull me out.' I answered, 'that was needless, and would take up 
 too much time, for there was no more to be done, but let one of the 
 crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea 
 into the ship, and so into the captain's cabin.' Some of them, upon 
 hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed, for 
 indeed it never came into my head, that I was now got among 
 people of my own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and 
 in a few minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let 
 down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was taken 
 into the ship in a very weak condition. 
 The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand 
 questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally 
 confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them 
 to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes to the monstrous 
 objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an 
 honest worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint, 
 took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and 
 made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take a little 
 rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I gave him 
 to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too 
 good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field-bed, two 
 chairs, a table, and a cabinet, that my closet was hung on all sides, 
 or rather quilted, with silk and cotton, that if he would let one of. 
 the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there 
 before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing me 
 utter these absurdities, concluded I was raving, however (I 
 suppose to pacify me) he promised to give order as I desired, and 
 going upon deck, sent some of his men down into my closet, 
 whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my goods, and 
 stripped off the quilting, but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead, 
 being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by the ignorance 
 of the seamen, who tore them up by force. Then they knocked off 
 some of the boards for the use of the ship, and when they had got 
 all they had a mind for, let the hull drop into the sea, which by 
 reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk to 
 rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the 
 havoc they made, because I am confident it would have sensibly 
 touched me, by bringing former passages into my mind, which I 
 would rather have forgot. 
 I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the 
 place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon 
 waking, I found myself much recovered. It was now about eight 
 o'clock at night, and the captain ordered supper immediately, 
 thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me with 
 great kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk 
 inconsistently: and, when we were left alone, desired I would give 
 him a relation of my travels, and by what accident I came to be set 
 adrift, in that monstrous wooden chest. He said 'that about twelve 
 o'clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass, he spied it at 
 a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make, 
 being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit,. 
 his own beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer, and 
 finding his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover what it was, 
 that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a 
 swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went himself 
 in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with 
 them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several 
 times, observed my windows and wire lattices that defended 
 them. That he discovered two staples upon one side, which was all 
 of boards, without any passage for light. He then commanded his 
 men to row up to that side, and fastening a cable to one of the 
 staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they called it, toward the 
 ship. When it was there, he gave directions to fasten another cable 
 to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise up my chest with 
 pulleys, which all the sailors were not able to do above two or 
 three feet.' He said, 'they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust 
 out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be 
 shut up in the cavity.' I asked, 'whether he or the crew had seen 
 any prodigious birds in the air, about the time he first discovered 
 me.' To which he answered, that discoursing this matter with the 
 sailors while I was asleep, one of them said, he had observed three 
 eagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their 
 being larger than the usual size:' which I suppose must be 
 imputed to the great height they were at, and he could not guess 
 the reason of my question. I then asked the captain, 'how far he 
 reckoned we might be from land?' He said, 'by the best 
 computation he could make, we were at least a hundred leagues.' 
 I assured him, 'that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had 
 not left the country whence I came above two hours before I 
 dropped into the sea.' Whereupon he began again to think that my. 
 brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me 
 to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, 'I was well 
 refreshed with his good entertainment and company, and as much 
 in my senses as ever I was in my life.' He then grew serious, and 
 desired to ask me freely, 'whether I were not troubled in my mind 
 by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was 
 punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that 
 chest, as great criminals, in other countries, have been forced to 
 sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for although he should 
 be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he would 
 engage his word to set me safe ashore, in the first port where we 
 arrived.' He added, 'that his suspicions were much increased by 
 some very absurd speeches I had delivered at first to his sailors, 
 and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or chest, as well 
 as by my odd looks and behaviour while I was at supper.' 
 I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully 
 did, from the last time I left England, to the moment he first 
 discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way into rational 
 minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who had some tincture of 
 learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced of my 
 candour and veracity. But further to confirm all I had said, I 
 entreated him to give order that my cabinet should be brought, of 
 which I had the key in my pocket, for he had already informed me 
 how the seamen disposed of my closet. I opened it in his own 
 presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I made 
 in the country from which I had been so strangely delivered. 
 There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the king's 
 beard, and another of the same materials, but fixed into a paring of. 
 her majesty's thumb-nail, which served for the back. There was a 
 collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard long, four 
 wasp stings, like joiner's tacks, some combings of the queen's 
 hair, a gold ring, which one day she made me a present of, in a 
 most obliging manner, taking it from her little finger, and 
 throwing it over my head like a collar. I desired the captain would 
 please to accept this ring in return for his civilities, which he 
 absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with my 
 own hand, from a maid of honour's toe, it was about the bigness of 
 Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I returned England, 
 I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in silver. Lastly, I desired him 
 to see the breeches I had then on, which were made of a mouse's 
 skin. 
 I could force nothing on him but a footman's tooth, which I 
 observed him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a 
 fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks, more than 
 such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful surgeon, 
 in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch's men, who was afflicted 
 with the tooth-ache, but it was as sound as any in his head. I got it 
 cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was about a foot long, and 
 four inches in diameter. 
 The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had 
 given him, and said, 'he hoped, when we returned to England, I 
 would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it 
 public.' My answer was, 'that we were overstocked with books of 
 travels: that nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary, 
 wherein I doubted some authors less consulted truth, than their. 
 own vanity, or interest, or the diversion of ignorant readers, that 
 my story could contain little beside common events, without those 
 ornamental descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other 
 animals, or of the barbarous customs and idolatry of savage 
 people, with which most writers abound. However, I thanked him 
 for his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into my 
 thoughts.' 
 He said 'he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to hear 
 me speak so loud,' asking me 'whether the king or queen of that 
 country were thick of hearing?' I told him, 'it was what I had 
 been used to for above two years past, and that I admired as much 
 at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to 
 whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I 
 spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in the streets, to 
 another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when I was 
 placed on a table, or held in any person's hand.' I told him, 'I had 
 likewise observed another thing, that, when I first got into the 
 ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the 
 most little contemptible creatures I had ever beheld.' For indeed, 
 while I was in that prince's country, I could never endure to look 
 in a glass, after mine eyes had been accustomed to such 
 prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so 
 despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said, 'that while we 
 were at supper, he observed me to look at every thing with a sort 
 of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able to contain my 
 laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to 
 some disorder in my brain.' I answered, 'it was very true, and I 
 wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size. 
 of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not 
 so big as a nut-shell,' and so I went on, describing the rest of his 
 household-stuff and provisions, after the same manner. For, 
 although he queen had ordered a little equipage of all things 
 necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas were 
 wholly taken up with what I saw on every side of me, and I 
 winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults. The 
 captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily replied with 
 the old English proverb, 'that he doubted mine eyes were bigger 
 than my belly, for he did not observe my stomach so good, 
 although I had fasted all day,' and, continuing in his mirth, 
 protested 'he would have gladly given a hundred pounds, to have 
 seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and afterwards in its fall from so 
 great a height into the sea, which would certainly have been a 
 most astonishing object, worthy to have the description of it 
 transmitted to future ages:' and the comparison of Phaeton was so 
 obvious, that he could not forbear applying it, although I did not 
 much admire the conceit. 
 The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to England, 
 driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and longitude 
 of 143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I came on board 
 him, we sailed southward a long time, and coasting New Holland, 
 kept our course west-south-west, and then south-south-west, till 
 we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our voyage was very 
 prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader with a journal of it. 
 The captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his long-boat 
 for provisions and fresh water, but I never went out of the ship till 
 we came into the Downs, which was on the third day of June,. 
 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to leave my 
 goods in security for payment of my freight: but the captain 
 protested he would not receive one farthing. We took a kind leave 
 of each other, and I made him promise he would come to see me 
 at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings, 
 which I borrowed of the captain. 
 As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the 
 trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput. 
 I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I met, and often called 
 aloud to have them stand out of the way, so that I had like to have 
 gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence. 
 When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, 
 one of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go in, (like a 
 goose under a gate,) for fear of striking my head. My wife run out 
 to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she 
 could otherwise never be able to reach my mouth. My daughter 
 kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till she arose, 
 having been so long used to stand with my head and eyes erect to 
 above sixty feet, and then I went to take her up with one hand by 
 the waist. I looked down upon the servants, and one or two friends 
 who were in the house, as if they had been pigmies and I a giant. I 
 told my wife, 'she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved 
 herself and her daughter to nothing.' In short, I behaved myself so 
 unaccountably, that they were all of the captain's opinion when he 
 first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as 
 an instance of the great power of habit and prejudice.. 
 In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right 
 understanding: but my wife protested 'I should never go to sea 
 any more,' although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not 
 power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the 
 mean time, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate 
 voyages.. 



 * PART III. A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNI-BARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN * 





CHAPTER I.


 [The author sets out on his third voyage. Is taken by pirates. The 
 malice of a Dutchman. His arrival at an island. He is received into 
 Laputa.] 
 I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William 
 Robinson, a Cornish man, commander of the Hopewell, a stout 
 ship of three hundred tons, came to my house. I had formerly been 
 surgeon of another ship where he was master, and a fourth part 
 owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated me more 
 like a brother, than an inferior officer, and, hearing of my arrival, 
 made me a visit, as I apprehended only out of friendship, for 
 nothing passed more than what is usual after long absences. But 
 repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to find I me in good 
 health, asking, 'whether I were now settled for life?' adding, 'that 
 he intended a voyage to the East Indies in two months,' at last he 
 plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be surgeon of 
 the ship, 'that I should have another surgeon under me, beside our 
 two mates, that my salary should be double to the usual pay, and 
 that having experienced my knowledge in sea-affairs to be at least 
 equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my 
 advice, as much as if I had shared in the command.'. 
 He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so 
 honest a man, that I could not reject this proposal, the thirst I had 
 of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, 
 continuing as violent as ever. The only difficulty that remained, 
 was to persuade my wife, whose consent however I at last 
 obtained, by the prospect of advantage she proposed to her 
 children. 
 We set out the 5th day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. 
 George the 11th of April, 1707. We staid there three weeks to 
 refresh our crew, many of whom were sick. From thence we went 
 to Tonquin, where the captain resolved to continue some time, 
 because many of the goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor 
 could he expect to be dispatched in several months. Therefore, in 
 hopes to defray some of the charges he must be at, he bought a 
 sloop, loaded it with several sorts of goods, wherewith the 
 Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring islands, and putting 
 fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he 
 appointed me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic, 
 while he transacted his affairs at Tonquin. 
 We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, 
 we were driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the 
 east: after which we had fair weather, but still with a pretty strong 
 gale from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two 
 pirates, who soon overtook us, for my sloop was so deep laden, 
 that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to defend 
 ourselves.. 
 We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who 
 entered furiously at the head of their men, but finding us all 
 prostrate upon our faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us 
 with strong ropes, and setting guard upon us, went to search the 
 sloop. 
 I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some 
 authority, though he was not commander of either ship. He knew 
 us by our countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in 
 his own language, swore we should be tied back to back and 
 thrown into the sea. I spoken Dutch tolerably well, I told him who 
 we were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians 
 and Protestants, of neighbouring countries in strict alliance, that 
 he would move the captains to take some pity on us. This 
 inflamed his rage, he repeated his threatenings, and turning to his 
 companions, spoke with great vehemence in the Japanese 
 language, as I suppose, often using the word CHRISTIANOS. 
 The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese 
 captain, who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came 
 up to me, and after several questions, which I answered in great 
 humility, he said, 'we should not die.' I made the captain a very 
 low bow, and then, turning to the Dutchman, said, 'I was sorry to 
 find more mercy in a heathen, than in a brother christian.' But I 
 had soon reason to repent those foolish words: 
 for that malicious reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to 
 persuade both the captains that I might be thrown into the sea 
 (which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I. 
 should not die), however, prevailed so far, as to have a 
 punishment inflicted on me, worse, in all human appearance, than 
 death itself. My men were sent by an equal division into both the 
 pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was 
 determined that I should be set adrift in a small canoe, with 
 paddles and a sail, and four days' provisions, which last, the 
 Japanese captain was so kind to double out of his own stores, and 
 would permit no man to search me. I got down into the canoe, 
 while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all 
 the curses and injurious terms his language could afford. 
 About an hour before we saw the pirates I had taken an 
 observation, and found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and 
 longitude of 183. When I was at some distance from the pirates, I 
 discovered, by my pocket-glass, several islands to the south-east. I 
 set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design to reach the 
 nearest of those islands, which I made a shift to do, in about three 
 hours. It was all rocky: however I got many birds' eggs, and, 
 striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry sea-weed, by which I 
 roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being resolved to spare my 
 provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under the shelter 
 of a rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well. 
 The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and 
 fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But, 
 not to trouble the reader with a particular account of my 
 distresses, let it suffice, that on the fifth day I arrived at the last 
 island in my sight, which lay south-south-east to the former.. 
 This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not 
 reach it in less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round, 
 before I could find a convenient place to land in, which was a 
 small creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found 
 the island to be all rocky, only a little intermingled with tufts of 
 grass, and sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small provisions 
 and after having refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a 
 cave, whereof there were great numbers, I gathered plenty of eggs 
 upon the rocks, and got a quantity of dry sea-weed, and parched 
 grass, which I designed to kindle the next day, and roast my eggs 
 as well as I could, for I had about me my flint, steel, match, and 
 burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave where I had lodged my 
 provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and sea-weed which I 
 intended for fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my mind 
 prevailed over my weariness, and kept me awake. I considered 
 how impossible it was to preserve my life in so desolate a place, 
 and how miserable my end must be: yet found myself so listless 
 and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise, and before I could 
 get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far 
 advanced. I walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly 
 clear, and the sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: 
 when all on a sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner 
 very different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I 
 turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me and 
 the sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemed to be about 
 two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes, but I did not 
 observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened, than 
 if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached 
 nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a firm. 
 substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from 
 the reflection of the sea below. I stood upon a height about two 
 hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending 
 almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance. 
 I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover 
 numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which 
 appeared to be sloping, but what those people where doing I was 
 not able to distinguish. 
 The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I 
 was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way 
 or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition 
 I was in. But at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my 
 astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, 
 who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into 
 progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time in a 
 disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose 
 to observe what course the island would take, because it seemed 
 for awhile to stand still. Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I 
 could see the sides of it encompassed with several gradations of 
 galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals, to descend from one to 
 the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with 
 long angling rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my 
 hat was long since worn out) and my handkerchief toward the 
 island, and upon its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the 
 utmost strength of my voice, and then looking circumspectly, I 
 beheld a crowd gather to that side which was most in my view. I 
 found by their pointing towards me and to each other, that they 
 plainly discovered me, although they made no return to my. 
 shouting. But I could see four or five men running in great haste, 
 up the stairs, to the top of the island, who then disappeared. I 
 happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for orders to 
 some person in authority upon this occasion. 
 The number of people increased, and, in less than half all hour, the 
 island was moved and raised in such a manner, that the lowest 
 gallery appeared in a parallel of less then a hundred yards distance 
 from the height where I stood. I then put myself in the most 
 supplicating posture, and spoke in the humblest accent, but 
 received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against me, 
 seemed to be persons of distinction, as I supposed by their habit. 
 They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me. 
 At length one of them called out in a clear, polite, smooth dialect, 
 not unlike in sound to the Italian: and therefore I returned an 
 answer in that language, hoping at least that the cadence might be 
 more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us understood the 
 other, yet my meaning was easily known, for the people saw the 
 distress I was in. 
 They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go 
 towards the shore, which I accordingly did, and the flying island 
 being raised to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a 
 chain was let down from the lowest gallery, with a seat fastened to 
 the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by pulleys.. 



CHAPTER II.


 [The humours and dispositions of the Laputians described. An 
 account of their learning. Of the king and his court. The author's 
 reception there. The inhabitants subject to fear and disquietudes. 
 An account of the women.] 
 Ay my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but 
 those who stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They 
 beheld me with all the marks and circumstances of wonder, 
 neither indeed was I much in their debt, having never till then seen 
 a race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, and 
 countenances. Their heads were all reclined, either to the right, or 
 the left, one of their eyes turned inward, and the other directly up 
 to the zenith. Their outward garments were adorned with the 
 figures of suns, moons, and stars, interwoven with those of 
 fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many 
 other instruments of music, unknown to us in Europe. I observed, 
 here and there, many in the habit of servants, with a blown 
 bladder, fastened like a flail to the end of a stick, which they 
 carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of 
 dried peas, or little pebbles, as I was afterwards informed. With 
 these bladders, they now and then flapped the mouths and ears of 
 those who stood near them, of which practice I could not then 
 conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so. 
 taken up with intense speculations, that they neither can speak, 
 nor attend to the discourses of others, without being roused by 
 some external taction upon the organs of speech and hearing, for 
 which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep 
 a flapper (the original is CLIMENOLE) in their family, as one of 
 their domestics, nor ever walk abroad, or make visits, without 
 him. And the business of this officer is, when two, three, or more 
 persons are in company, gently to strike with his bladder the 
 mouth of him who is to speak, and the right ear of him or them to 
 whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is likewise 
 employed diligently to attend his master in his walks, and upon 
 occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes, because he is always 
 so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger of 
 falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every 
 post, and in the streets, of justling others, or being justled himself 
 into the kennel. 
 It was necessary to give the reader this information, without 
 which he would be at the same loss with me to understand the 
 proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to 
 the top of the island, and from thence to the royal palace. While 
 we were ascending, they forgot several times what they were 
 about, and left me to myself, till their memories were again roused 
 by their flappers, for they appeared altogether unmoved by the 
 sight of my foreign habit and countenance, and by the shouts of 
 the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds were more disengaged.. 
 At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of 
 presence, where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on 
 each side by persons of prime quality. Before the throne, was a 
 large table filled with globes and spheres, and mathematical 
 instruments of all kinds. His majesty took not the least notice of 
 us, although our entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the 
 concourse of all persons belonging to the court. But he was then 
 deep in a problem, and we attended at least an hour, before he 
 could solve it. There stood by him, on each side, a young page 
 with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was at leisure, one 
 of them gently struck his mouth, and the other his right ear, at 
 which he startled like one awaked on the sudden, and looking 
 towards me and the company I was in, recollected the occasion of 
 our coming, whereof he had been informed before. He spoke 
 some words, whereupon immediately a young man with a flap 
 came up to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear, but I 
 made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an 
 instrument, which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty, and 
 the whole court, a very mean opinion of my understanding. The 
 king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several questions, and 
 I addressed myself to him in all the languages I had. When it was 
 found I could neither understand nor be understood, I was 
 conducted by his order to an apartment in his palace (this prince 
 being distinguished above all his predecessors for his hospitality 
 to strangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me. 
 My dinner was brought, and four persons of quality, whom I 
 remembered to have seen very near the king's person, did me the 
 honour to dine with me. We had two courses, of three dishes each. 
 In the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an. 
 equilateral triangle, a piece of beef into a rhomboides, and a 
 pudding into a cycloid. The second course was two ducks trussed 
 up in the form of fiddles, sausages and puddings resembling flutes 
 and hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The 
 servants cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and 
 several other mathematical figures. 
 While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several 
 things in their language, and those noble persons, by the 
 assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping 
 to raise my admiration of their great abilities if I could be brought 
 to converse with them. I was soon able to call for bread and drink, 
 or whatever else I wanted. 
 After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me 
 by the king's order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him 
 pen, ink, and paper, and three or four books, giving me to 
 understand by signs, that he was sent to teach me the language. 
 We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down a great 
 number of words in columns, with the translations over against 
 them, I likewise made a shift to learn several short sentences, for 
 my tutor would order one of my servants to fetch something, to 
 turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or to stand, or walk, and the like. 
 Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed me also, in 
 one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, the 
 zodiac, the tropics, and polar circles, together with the 
 denominations of many plains and solids. He gave me the names 
 and descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general 
 terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I. 
 placed all my words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical 
 order. And thus, in a few days, by the help of a very faithful 
 memory, I got some insight into their language. The word, which 
 I interpret the flying or floating island, is in the original LAPUTA, 
 whereof I could never learn the true etymology. LAP, in the old 
 obsolete language, signifies high, and UNTUH, a governor, from 
 which they say, by corruption, was derived LAPUTA, from 
 LAPUNTUH. But I do not approve of this derivation, which 
 seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to the learned 
 among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was QUASI 
 LAP OUTED, LAP, signifying properly, the dancing of the 
 sunbeams in the sea, and OUTED, a wing, which, however, I shall 
 not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader. 
 Those to whom the king had entrusted me, observing how ill I was 
 clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take measure for 
 a suit of clothes. This operator did his office after a different 
 manner from those of his trade in Europe. He first took my 
 altitude by a quadrant, and then, with a rule and compasses, 
 described the dimensions and outlines of my whole body, all 
 which he entered upon paper, and in six days brought my clothes 
 very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to mistake a 
 figure in the calculation. But my comfort was, that I observed 
 such accidents very frequent, and little regarded. 
 During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an 
 indisposition that held me some days longer, I much enlarged my 
 dictionary, and when I went next to court, was able to understand 
 many things the king spoke, and to return him some kind of. 
 answers. His majesty had given orders, that the island should 
 move north-east and by east, to the vertical point over Lagado, the 
 metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm earth. It 
 was about ninety leagues distant, and our voyage lasted four days 
 and a half. I was not in the least sensible of the progressive motion 
 made in the air by the island. On the second morning, about 
 eleven o'clock, the king himself in person, attended by his 
 nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their musical 
 instruments, played on them for three hours without intermission, 
 so that I was quite stunned with the noise, neither could I possibly 
 guess the meaning, till my tutor informed me. He said that, the 
 people of their island had their ears adapted to hear 'the music of 
 the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and the court 
 was now prepared to bear their part, in whatever instrument they 
 most excelled.' 
 In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty 
 ordered that the island should stop over certain towns and 
 villages, from whence he might receive the petitions of his 
 subjects. And to this purpose, several packthreads were let down, 
 with small weights at the bottom. On these packthreads the people 
 strung their petitions, which mounted up directly, like the scraps 
 of paper fastened by school boys at the end of the string that holds 
 their kite. Sometimes we received wine and victuals from below, 
 which were drawn up by pulleys. 
 The knowledge I had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in 
 acquiring their phraseology, which depended much upon that 
 science, and music, and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their. 
 ideas are perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they 
 would, for example, praise the beauty of a woman, or any other 
 animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, 
 ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn 
 from music, needless here to repeat. I observed in the king's 
 kitchen all sorts of mathematical and musical instruments, after 
 the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served to his 
 majesty's table. 
 Their houses are very ill built, the walls bevil, without one right 
 angle in any apartment, and this defect arises from the contempt 
 they bear to practical geometry, which they despise as vulgar and 
 mechanic, those instructions they give being too refined for the 
 intellects of their workmen, which occasions perpetual mistakes. 
 And although they are dexterous enough upon a piece of paper, in 
 the management of the rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the 
 common actions and behaviour of life, I have not seen a more 
 clumsy, awkward, and unhandy people, nor so slow and perplexed 
 in their conceptions upon all other subjects, except those of 
 mathematics and music. They are very bad reasoners, and 
 vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of 
 the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy, 
 and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in 
 their language, by which those ideas can be expressed, the whole 
 compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two 
 forementioned sciences.. 
 Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical 
 part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are 
 ashamed to own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and 
 thought altogether unaccountable, was the strong disposition I 
 observed in them towards news and politics, perpetually inquiring 
 into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters of state, and 
 passionately disputing every inch of a party opinion. I have indeed 
 observed the same disposition among most of the mathematicians 
 I have known in Europe, although I could never discover the least 
 analogy between the two sciences, unless those people suppose, 
 that because the smallest circle has as many degrees as the largest, 
 therefore the regulation and management of the world require no 
 more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe, but I 
 rather take this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of 
 human nature, inclining us to be most curious and conceited in 
 matters where we have least concern, and for which we are least 
 adapted by study or nature. 
 These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a 
 minutes peace of mind, and their disturbances proceed from 
 causes which very little affect the rest of mortals. Their 
 apprehensions arise from several changes they dread in the 
 celestial bodies: for instance, that the earth, by the continual 
 approaches of the sun towards it, must, in course of time, be 
 absorbed, or swallowed up, that the face of the sun, will, by 
 degrees, be encrusted with its own effluvia, and give no more light 
 to the world, that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush from 
 the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to 
 ashes, and that the next, which they have calculated for one-and-. 
 thirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its 
 perihelion, it should approach within a certain degree of the sun 
 (as by their calculations they have reason to dread) it will receive 
 a degree of heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red 
 hot glowing iron, and in its absence from the sun, carry a blazing 
 tail ten hundred thousand and fourteen miles long, through which, 
 if the earth should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand 
 miles from the nucleus, or main body of the comet, it must in its 
 passage be set on fire, and reduced to ashes: that the sun, daily 
 spending its rays without any nutriment to supply them, will at 
 last be wholly consumed and annihilated, which must be attended 
 with the destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that receive 
 their light from it. 
 They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these, 
 and the like impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly 
 in their beds, nor have any relish for the common pleasures and 
 amusements of life. When they meet an acquaintance in the 
 morning, the first question is about the sun's health, how he 
 looked at his setting and rising, and what hopes they have to avoid 
 the stroke of the approaching comet. This conversation they are 
 apt to run into with the same temper that boys discover in 
 delighting to hear terrible stories of spirits and hobgoblins, which 
 they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed for fear. 
 The women of the island have abundance of vivacity: they, 
 contemn their husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, 
 whereof there is always a considerable number from the continent 
 below, attending at court, either upon affairs of the several towns. 
 and corporations, or their own particular occasions, but are much 
 despised, because they want the same endowments. Among these 
 the ladies choose their gallants: but the vexation is, that they act 
 with too much ease and security, for the husband is always so rapt 
 in speculation, that the mistress and lover may proceed to the 
 greatest familiarities before his face, if he be but provided with 
 paper and implements, and without his flapper at his side. 
 The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island, 
 although I think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world, 
 and although they live here in the greatest plenty and 
 magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever they please, they 
 long to see the world, and take the diversions of the metropolis, 
 which they are not allowed to do without a particular license from 
 the king, and this is not easy to be obtained, because the people of 
 quality have found, by frequent experience, how hard it is to 
 persuade their women to return from below. I was told that a great 
 court lady, who had several children,--is married to the prime 
 minister, the richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful 
 person, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest palace of the 
 island,--went down to Lagado on the pretence of health, there hid 
 herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to search for 
 her, and she was found in an obscure eating-house all in rags, 
 having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed footman, 
 who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken, 
 much against her will. And although her husband received her 
 with all possible kindness, and without the least reproach, she 
 soon after contrived to steal down again, with all her jewels, to the 
 same gallant, and has not been heard of since.. 
 This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for an European or 
 English story, than for one of a country so remote. But he may 
 please to consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited 
 by any climate or nation, and that they are much more uniform, 
 than can be easily imagined. 
 In about a month's time, I had made a tolerable proficiency in 
 their language, and was able to answer most of the king's 
 questions, when I had the honour to attend him. His majesty 
 discovered not the least curiosity to inquire into the laws, 
 government, history, religion, or manners of the countries where I 
 had been, but confined his questions to the state of mathematics, 
 and received the account I gave him with great contempt and 
 indifference, though often roused by his flapper on each side.. 



CHAPTER III.


 [A phenomenon solved by modern philosophy and astronomy. 
 The Laputians' great improvements in the latter. The king's 
 method of suppressing insurrections.] 
 I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island, 
 which he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to 
 attend me. I chiefly wanted to know, to what cause, in art or in 
 nature, it owed its several motions, whereof I will now give a 
 philosophical account to the reader. 
 The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837 
 yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains 
 ten thousand acres. It is three hundred yards thick. The bottom, or 
 under surface, which appears to those who view it below, is one 
 even regular plate of adamant, shooting up to the height of about 
 two hundred yards. Above it lie the several minerals in their usual 
 order, and over all is a coat of rich mould, ten or twelve feet deep. 
 The declivity of the upper surface, from the circumference to the 
 centre, is the natural cause why all the dews and rains, which fall 
 upon the island, are conveyed in small rivulets toward the middle, 
 where they are emptied into four large basins, each of about half a 
 mile in circuit, and two hundred yards distant from the centre. 
 From these basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in. 
 the daytime, which effectually prevents their overflowing. 
 Besides, as it is in the power of the monarch to raise the island 
 above the region of clouds and vapours, he can prevent the falling 
 of dews and rain whenever he pleases. For the highest clouds 
 cannot rise above two miles, as naturalists agree, at least they 
 were never known to do so in that country. 
 At the centre of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in 
 diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, 
 which is therefore called FLANDONA GAGNOLE, or the 
 astronomer's cave, situated at the depth of a hundred yards 
 beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty 
 lamps continually burning, which, from the reflection of the 
 adamant, cast a strong light into every part. The place is stored 
 with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes, 
 and other astronomical instruments. But the greatest curiosity, 
 upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of a 
 prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver's shuttle. It is in 
 length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over. 
 This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing 
 through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly 
 that the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow 
 cylinder of adamant, four feet yards in diameter, placed 
 horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six 
 yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a groove 
 twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are 
 lodged, and turned round as there is occasion.. 
 The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because 
 the hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of 
 adamant which constitutes the bottom of the island. 
 By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and 
 move from one place to another. For, with respect to that part of 
 the earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is endued at 
 one of its sides with an attractive power, and at the other with a 
 repulsive. Upon placing the magnet erect, with its attracting end 
 towards the earth, the island descends, but when the repelling 
 extremity points downwards, the island mounts directly upwards. 
 When the position of the stone is oblique, the motion of the island 
 is so too: for in this magnet, the forces always act in lines parallel 
 to its direction. 
 By this oblique motion, the island is conveyed to different parts of 
 the monarch's dominions. To explain the manner of its progress, 
 let A B represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi, 
 let the line C D represent the loadstone, of which let D be the 
 repelling end, and C the attracting end, the island being over C: let 
 the stone be placed in position C D, with its repelling end 
 downwards, then the island will be driven upwards obliquely 
 towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the stone be turned upon its 
 axle, till its attracting end points towards E, and then the island 
 will be carried obliquely towards E, where, if the stone be again 
 turned upon its axle till it stands in the position E F, with its 
 repelling point downwards, the island will rise obliquely towards 
 F, where, by directing the attracting end towards G, the island may 
 be carried to G, and from G to H, by turning the stone, so as to. 
 make its repelling extremity to point directly downward. And 
 thus, by changing the situation of the stone, as often as there is 
 occasion, the island is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique 
 direction, and by those alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity 
 being not considerable) is conveyed from one part of the 
 dominions to the other. 
 But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the 
 extent of the dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of 
 four miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large 
 systems concerning the stone) assign the following reason: that 
 the magnetic virtue does not extend beyond the distance of four 
 miles, and that the mineral, which acts upon the stone in the 
 bowels of the earth, and in the sea about six leagues distant from 
 the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe, but terminated 
 with the limits of the king's dominions, and it was easy, from the 
 great advantage of such a superior situation, for a prince to bring 
 under his obedience whatever country lay within the attraction of 
 that magnet. 
 When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the 
 island stands still, for in that case the extremities of it, being at 
 equal distance from the earth, act with equal force, the one in 
 drawing downwards, the other in pushing upwards, and 
 consequently no motion can ensue. 
 This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from 
 time to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs.. 
 They spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the 
 celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance of glasses, far 
 excelling ours in goodness. For, although their largest telescopes 
 do not exceed three feet, they magnify much more than those of a 
 hundred with us, and show the stars with greater clearness. This 
 advantage has enabled them to extend their discoveries much 
 further than our astronomers in Europe, for they have made a 
 catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours 
 do not contain above one third part of that number. They have 
 likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve 
 about Mars, whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of 
 the primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the 
 outermost, five, the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and 
 the latter in twenty-one and a half, so that the squares of their 
 periodical times are very near in the same proportion with the 
 cubes of their distance from the centre of Mars, which evidently 
 shows them to be governed by the same law of gravitation that 
 influences the other heavenly bodies. 
 They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled 
 their periods with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm 
 it with great confidence) it is much to be wished, that their 
 observations were made public, whereby the theory of comets, 
 which at present is very lame and defective, might be brought to 
 the same perfection with other arts of astronomy.. 
 The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he 
 could but prevail on a ministry to join with him, but these having 
 their estates below on the continent, and considering that the 
 office of a favourite has a very uncertain tenure, would never 
 consent to the enslaving of their country. 
 If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent 
 factions, or refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two 
 methods of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest 
 course is, by keeping the island hovering over such a town, and 
 the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of 
 the sun and the rain, and consequently afflict the inhabitants with 
 dearth and diseases: and if the crime deserve it, they are at the 
 same time pelted from above with great stones, against which they 
 have no defence but by creeping into cellars or caves, while the 
 roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. But if they still continue 
 obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, he proceeds to the last 
 remedy, by letting the island drop directly upon their heads, which 
 makes a universal destruction both of houses and men. However, 
 this is an extremity to which the prince is seldom driven, neither 
 indeed is he willing to put it in execution, nor dare his ministers 
 advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odious to 
 the people, so it would be a great damage to their own estates, 
 which all lie below, for the island is the king's demesne. 
 But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of 
 this country have been always averse from executing so terrible 
 an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For, if the town 
 intended to be destroyed should have in it any tall rocks, as it. 
 generally falls out in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen 
 at first with a view to prevent such a catastrophe, or if it abound in 
 high spires, or pillars of stone, a sudden fall might endanger the 
 bottom or under surface of the island, which, although it consist, 
 as I have said, of one entire adamant, two hundred yards thick, 
 might happen to crack by too great a shock, or burst by 
 approaching too near the fires from the houses below, as the 
 backs, both of iron and stone, will often do in our chimneys. Of all 
 this the people are well apprised, and understand how far to carry 
 their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is concerned. And 
 the king, when he is highest provoked, and most determined to 
 press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend with great 
 gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people, but, 
 indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom, in which case, 
 it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that the loadstone could 
 no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground. 
 By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king, nor either of 
 his two eldest sons, are permitted to leave the island, nor the 
 queen, till she is past child-bearing.. 



CHAPTER IV.


 [The author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi, arrives at 
 the metropolis. A description of the metropolis, and the country 
 adjoining. The author hospitably received by a great lord. His 
 conversation with that lord.] 
 Although I cannot say that I was ill treated in this island, yet I 
 must confess I thought myself too much neglected, not without 
 some degree of contempt, for neither prince nor people appeared 
 to be curious in any part of knowledge, except mathematics and 
 music, wherein I was far their inferior, and upon that account very 
 little regarded. 
 On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the 
 island, I was very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of 
 those people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for 
 which I have great esteem, and wherein I am not unversed, but, at 
 the same time, so abstracted and involved in speculation, that I 
 never met with such disagreeable companions. I conversed only 
 with women, tradesmen, flappers, and court-pages, during two 
 months of my abode there, by which, at last, I rendered myself 
 extremely contemptible, yet these were the only people from 
 whom I could ever receive a reasonable answer.. 
 I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their 
 language: I was weary of being confined to an island where I 
 received so little countenance, and resolved to leave it with the 
 first opportunity. 
 There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for 
 that reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned 
 the most ignorant and stupid person among them. He had 
 performed many eminent services for the crown, had great natural 
 and acquired parts, adorned with integrity and honour, but so ill 
 an ear for music, that his detractors reported, 'he had been often 
 known to beat time in the wrong place,' neither could his tutors, 
 without extreme difficulty, teach him to demonstrate the most 
 easy proposition in the mathematics. He was pleased to show me 
 many marks of favour, often did me the honour of a visit, desired 
 to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws and customs, the 
 manners and learning of the several countries where I had 
 travelled. He listened to me with great attention, and made very 
 wise observations on all I spoke. He had two flappers attending 
 him for state, but never made use of them, except at court and in 
 visits of ceremony, and would always command them to 
 withdraw, when we were alone together. 
 I entreated this illustrious person, to intercede in my behalf with 
 his majesty, for leave to depart, which he accordingly did, as he 
 was pleased to tell me, with regret: for indeed he had made me 
 several offers very advantageous, which, however, I refused, with 
 expressions of the highest acknowledgment.. 
 On the 16th of February I took leave of his majesty and the court. 
 The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred 
 pounds English, and my protector, his kinsman, as much more, 
 together with a letter of recommendation to a friend of his in 
 Lagado, the metropolis. The island being then hovering over a 
 mountain about two miles from it, I was let down from the lowest 
 gallery, in the same manner as I had been taken up. 
 The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying 
 island, passes under the general name of BALNIBARBI, and the 
 metropolis, as I said before, is called LAGADO. I felt some little 
 satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I walked to the city 
 without any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and 
 sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the 
 person's house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter 
 from his friend the grandee in the island, and was received with 
 much kindness. This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered 
 me an apartment in his own house, where I continued during my 
 stay, and was entertained in a most hospitable manner. 
 The next morning after my arrival, he took me in his chariot to see 
 the town, which is about half the bigness of London, but the 
 houses very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The 
 people in the streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and 
 were generally in rags. We passed through one of the town gates, 
 and went about three miles into the country, where I saw many 
 labourers working with several sorts of tools in the ground, but. 
 was not able to conjecture what they were about: neither did 
 observe any expectation either of corn or grass, although the soil 
 appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at these odd 
 appearances, both in town and country, and I made bold to desire 
 my conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me, what 
 could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in 
 the streets and the fields, because I did not discover any good 
 effects they produced, but, on the contrary, I never knew a soil so 
 unhappily cultivated, houses so ill contrived and so ruinous, or a 
 people whose countenances and habit expressed so much misery 
 and want. 
 This lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been 
 some years governor of Lagado, but, by a cabal of ministers, was 
 discharged for insufficiency. However, the king treated him with 
 tenderness, as a well-meaning man, but of a low contemptible 
 understanding. 
 When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, 
 he made no further answer than by telling me, 'that I had not been 
 long enough among them to form a judgment, and that the 
 different nations of the world had different customs,' with other 
 common topics to the same purpose. But, when we returned to his 
 palace, he asked me 'how I liked the building, what absurdities I 
 observed, and what quarrel I had with the dress or looks of his 
 domestics?' This he might safely do, because every thing about 
 him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, 'that his 
 excellency's prudence, quality, and fortune, had exempted him 
 from those defects, which folly and beggary had produced in. 
 others.' He said, 'if I would go with him to his country-house, 
 about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be 
 more leisure for this kind of conversation.' I told his excellency 
 'that I was entirely at his disposal,' and accordingly we set out 
 next morning. 
 During our journey he made me observe the several methods used 
 by farmers in managing their lands, which to me were wholly 
 unaccountable, for, except in some very few places, I could not 
 discover one ear of corn or blade of grass. But, in three hours 
 travelling, the scene was wholly altered, we came into a most 
 beautiful country, farmers' houses, at small distances, neatly built, 
 the fields enclosed, containing vineyards, corn-grounds, and 
 meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a more delightful 
 prospect. His excellency observed my countenance to clear up, he 
 told me, with a sigh, 'that there his estate began, and would 
 continue the same, till we should come to his house: that his 
 countrymen ridiculed and despised him, for managing his affairs 
 no better, and for setting so ill an example to the kingdom, which, 
 however, was followed by very few, such as were old, and wilful, 
 and weak like himself.' 
 We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble 
 structure, built according to the best rules of ancient architecture. 
 The fountains, gardens, walks, avenues, and groves, were all 
 disposed with exact judgment and taste. I gave due praises to 
 every thing I saw, whereof his excellency took not the least notice 
 till after supper, when, there being no third companion, he told me 
 with a very melancholy air 'that he doubted he must throw down. 
 his houses in town and country, to rebuild them after the present 
 mode, destroy all his plantations, and cast others into such a form 
 as modern usage required, and give the same directions to all his 
 tenants, unless he would submit to incur the censure of pride, 
 singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps increase 
 his majesty's displeasure, that the admiration I appeared to be 
 under would cease or diminish, when he had informed me of some 
 particulars which, probably, I never heard of at court, the people 
 there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have 
 regard to what passed here below.' 
 The sum of his discourse was to this effect: 'That about forty 
 years ago, certain persons went up to Laputa, either upon business 
 or diversion, and, after five months continuance, came back with a 
 very little smattering in mathematics, but full of volatile spirits 
 acquired in that airy region: that these persons, upon their return, 
 began to dislike the management of every thing below, and fell 
 into schemes of putting all arts, sciences, languages, and 
 mechanics, upon a new foot. To this end, they procured a royal 
 patent for erecting an academy of projectors in Lagado, and the 
 humour prevailed so strongly among the people, that there is not a 
 town of any consequence in the kingdom without such an 
 academy. In these colleges the professors contrive new rules and 
 methods of agriculture and building, and new instruments, and 
 tools for all trades and manufactures, whereby, as they undertake, 
 one man shall do the work of ten, a palace may be built in a week, 
 of materials so durable as to last for ever without repairing. All the 
 fruits of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we 
 think fit to choose, and increase a hundred fold more than they do. 
 at present, with innumerable other happy proposals. The only 
 inconvenience is, that none of these projects are yet brought to 
 perfection, and in the mean time, the whole country lies miserably 
 waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food or clothes. 
 By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times 
 more violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes, driven 
 equally on by hope and despair: that as for himself, being not of 
 an enterprising spirit, he was content to go on in the old forms, to 
 live in the houses his ancestors had built, and act as they did, in 
 every part of life, without innovation: that some few other persons 
 of quality and gentry had done the same, but were looked on with 
 an eye of contempt and ill-will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill 
 common-wealth's men, preferring their own ease and sloth before 
 the general improvement of their country.' 
 His lordship added, 'That he would not, by any further 
 particulars, prevent the pleasure I should certainly take in viewing 
 the grand academy, whither he was resolved I should go.' He 
 only desired me to observe a ruined building, upon the side of a 
 mountain about three miles distant, of which he gave me this 
 account: 'That he had a very convenient mill within half a mile of 
 his house, turned by a current from a large river, and sufficient for 
 his own family, as well as a great number of his tenants, that about 
 seven years ago, a club of those projectors came to him with 
 proposals to destroy this mill, and build another on the side of that 
 mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal must be cut, for 
 a repository of water, to be conveyed up by pipes and engines to 
 supply the mill, because the wind and air upon a height agitated 
 the water, and thereby made it fitter for motion, and because the. 
 water, descending down a declivity, would turn the mill with half 
 the current of a river whose course is more upon a level.' He said, 
 'that being then not very well with the court, and pressed by many 
 of his friends, he complied with the proposal, and after employing 
 a hundred men for two years, the work miscarried, the projectors 
 went off, laying the blame entirely upon him, railing at him ever 
 since, and putting others upon the same experiment, with equal 
 assurance of success, as well as equal disappointment.' 
 In a few days we came back to town, and his excellency, 
 considering the bad character he had in the academy, would not go 
 with me himself, but recommended me to a friend of his, to bear 
 me company thither. My lord was pleased to represent me as a 
 great admirer of projects, and a person of much curiosity and easy 
 belief, which, indeed, was not without truth, for I had myself been 
 a sort of projector in my younger days.. 



CHAPTER V.


 [The author permitted to see the grand academy of Lagado. The 
 academy largely described. The arts wherein the professors 
 employ themselves.] 
 This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation 
 of several houses on both sides of a street, which growing waste, 
 was purchased and applied to that use. 
 I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days 
 to the academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors, and I 
 believe I could not be in fewer than five hundred rooms. 
 The first man I saw was of a meagre aspect, with sooty hands and 
 face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. 
 His clothes, shirt, and skin, were all of the same colour. He has 
 been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of 
 cucumbers, which were to be put in phials hermetically sealed, 
 and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, 
 he did not doubt, that, in eight years more, he should be able to 
 supply the governor's gardens with sunshine, at a reasonable rate: 
 but he complained that his stock was low, and entreated me 'to 
 give him something as an encouragement to ingenuity, especially 
 since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers.' I made him. 
 a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on 
 purpose, because he knew their practice of begging from all who 
 go to see them. 
 I went into another chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being 
 almost overcome with a horrible stink. My conductor pressed me 
 forward, conjuring me in a whisper 'to give no offence, which 
 would be highly resented,' and therefore I durst not so much as 
 stop my nose. The projector of this cell was the most ancient 
 student of the academy, his face and beard were of a pale yellow, 
 his hands and clothes daubed over with filth. When I was 
 presented to him, he gave me a close embrace, a compliment I 
 could well have excused. His employment, from his first coming 
 into the academy, was an operation to reduce human excrement to 
 its original food, by separating the several parts, removing the 
 tincture which it receives from the gall, making the odour exhale, 
 and scumming off the saliva. He had a weekly allowance, from 
 the society, of a vessel filled with human ordure, about the bigness 
 of a Bristol barrel. 
 I saw another at work to calcine ice into gunpowder, who likewise 
 showed me a treatise he had written concerning the malleability of 
 fire, which he intended to publish. 
 There was a most ingenious architect, who had contrived a new 
 method for building houses, by beginning at the roof, and working 
 downward to the foundation, which he justified to me, by the like 
 practice of those two prudent insects, the bee and the spider.. 
 There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his 
 own condition: their employment was to mix colours for painters, 
 which their master taught them to distinguish by feeling and 
 smelling. It was indeed my misfortune to find them at that time 
 not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself 
 happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much 
 encouraged and esteemed by the whole fraternity. 
 In another apartment I was highly pleased with a projector who 
 had found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the 
 charges of ploughs, cattle, and labour. The method is this: in an 
 acre of ground you bury, at six inches distance and eight deep, a 
 quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or vegetables, 
 whereof these animals are fondest, then you drive six hundred or 
 more of them into the field, where, in a few days, they will root up 
 the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for 
 sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung: it is true, 
 upon experiment, they found the charge and trouble very great, 
 and they had little or no crop. However it is not doubted, that this 
 invention may be capable of great improvement. 
 I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all 
 hung round with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist 
 to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me, 'not to 
 disturb his webs.' He lamented 'the fatal mistake the world had 
 been so long in, of using silkworms, while we had such plenty of 
 domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they 
 understood how to weave, as well as spin.' And he proposed 
 further, 'that by employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks. 
 should be wholly saved,' whereof I was fully convinced, when he 
 showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully coloured, 
 wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us 'that the webs would 
 take a tincture from them, and as he had them of all hues, he 
 hoped to fit everybody's fancy, as soon as he could find proper 
 food for the flies, of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, 
 to give a strength and consistence to the threads.' 
 There was an astronomer, who had undertaken to place a sun-dial 
 upon the great weathercock on the town-house, by adjusting the 
 annual and diurnal motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer 
 and coincide with all accidental turnings of the wind. 
 I was complaining of a small fit of the colic, upon which my 
 conductor led me into a room where a great physician resided, 
 who was famous for curing that disease, by contrary operations 
 from the same instrument. He had a large pair of bellows, with a 
 long slender muzzle of ivory: this he conveyed eight inches up the 
 anus, and drawing in the wind, he affirmed he could make the guts 
 as lank as a dried bladder. But when the disease was more 
 stubborn and violent, he let in the muzzle while the bellows were 
 full of wind, which he discharged into the body of the patient, 
 then withdrew the instrument to replenish it, clapping his thumb 
 strongly against the orifice of then fundament, and this being 
 repeated three or four times, the adventitious wind would rush 
 out, bringing the noxious along with it, (like water put into a 
 pump), and the patient recovered. I saw him try both experiments. 
 upon a dog, but could not discern any effect from the former. 
 After the latter the animal was ready to burst, and made so violent 
 a discharge as was very offensive to me and my companion. 
 The dog died on the spot, and we left the doctor endeavouring to 
 recover him, by the same operation. 
 I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader 
 with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity. 
 I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being 
 appropriated to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I 
 shall say something, when I have mentioned one illustrious person 
 more, who is called among them 'the universal artist.' He told us 
 'he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for the 
 improvement of human life.' He had two large rooms full of 
 wonderful curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were 
 condensing air into a dry tangible substance, by extracting the 
 nitre, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate, others 
 softening marble, for pillows and pin-cushions, others petrifying 
 the hoofs of a living horse, to preserve them from foundering. The 
 artist himself was at that time busy upon two great designs, the 
 first, to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal 
 virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated by several experiments, 
 which I was not skilful enough to comprehend. The other was, by 
 a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables, 
 outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young 
 lambs, and he hoped, in a reasonable time to propagate the breed 
 of naked sheep, all over the kingdom.. 
 We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I 
 have already said, the projectors in speculative learning resided. 
 The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty 
 pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly 
 upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length 
 and breadth of the room, he said, 'Perhaps I might wonder to see 
 him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge, 
 by practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon 
 be sensible of its usefulness, and he flattered himself, that a more 
 noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man's head. 
 Every one knew how laborious the usual method is of attaining to 
 arts and sciences, whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant 
 person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, 
 might write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, 
 mathematics, and theology, without the least assistance from 
 genius or study.' He then led me to the frame, about the sides, 
 whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, 
 placed in the middle of the room. The superfices was composed of 
 several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but some larger 
 than others. They were all linked together by slender wires. These 
 bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper pasted on 
 them, and on these papers were written all the words of their 
 language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions, but 
 without any order. The professor then desired me 'to observe, for 
 he was going to set his engine at work.' The pupils, at his 
 command, took each of them hold of an iron handle, whereof 
 there were forty fixed round the edges of the frame, and giving. 
 them a sudden turn, the whole disposition of the words was 
 entirely changed. He then commanded six-and-thirty of the lads, 
 to read the several lines softly, as they appeared upon the frame, 
 and where they found three or four words together that might 
 make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys, 
 who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four times, and 
 at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted 
 into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down. 
 Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour, 
 and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, 
 already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece 
 together, and out of those rich materials, to give the world a 
 complete body of all arts and sciences, which, however, might be 
 still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a 
 fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in 
 Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their 
 several collections. 
 He assured me 'that this invention had employed all his thoughts 
 from his youth, that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his 
 frame, and made the strictest computation of the general 
 proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles, 
 nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech.' 
 I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, 
 for his great communicativeness, and promised, 'if ever I had the 
 good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him 
 justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine,' the form. 
 and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as 
 in the figure here annexed. I told him, 'although it were the 
 custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each 
 other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a 
 controversy which was the right owner, yet I would take such 
 caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival.' 
 We next went to the school of languages, where three professors 
 sat in consultation upon improving that of their own country. 
 The first project was, to shorten discourse, by cutting 
 polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles, 
 because, in reality, all things imaginable are but norms. 
 The other project was, a scheme for entirely abolishing all words 
 whatsoever, and this was urged as a great advantage in point of 
 health, as well as brevity. For it is plain, that every word we speak 
 is, in some degree, a diminution of our lunge by corrosion, and, 
 consequently, contributes to the shortening of our lives. An 
 expedient was therefore offered, 'that since words are only names 
 for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about 
 them such things as were necessary to express a particular 
 business they are to discourse on.' And this invention would 
 certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of 
 the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and 
 illiterate, had not threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might 
 be allowed the liberty to speak with their tongues, after the 
 manner of their forefathers, such constant irreconcilable enemies 
 to science are the common people.. 
 However, many of the most learned and wise adhere to the new 
 scheme of expressing themselves by things, which has only this 
 inconvenience attending it, that if a man's business be very great, 
 and of various kinds, he must be obliged, in proportion, to carry a 
 greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or 
 two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those 
 sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like pedlars 
 among us, who, when they met in the street, would lay down their 
 loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for an hour 
 together, then put up their implements, help each other to resume 
 their burdens, and take their leave. 
 But for short conversations, a man may carry implements in his 
 pockets, and under his arms, enough to supply him, and in his 
 house, he cannot be at a loss. Therefore the room where company 
 meet who practise this art, is full of all things, ready at hand, 
 requisite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse. 
 Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it 
 would serve as a universal language, to be understood in all 
 civilised nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the 
 same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be 
 comprehended. And thus ambassadors would be qualified to treat 
 with foreign princes, or ministers of state, to whose tongues they 
 were utter strangers.. 
 I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his 
 pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The 
 proposition, and demonstration, were fairly written on a thin 
 wafer, with ink composed of a cephalic tincture. This, the student 
 was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days 
 following, eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested, 
 the tincture mounted to his brain, bearing the proposition along 
 with it. But the success has not hitherto been answerable, partly 
 by some error in the QUANTUM or composition, and partly by 
 the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous, that 
 they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards, before it can 
 operate, neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an 
 abstinence, as the prescription requires.. 



CHAPTER VI.


 [A further account of the academy. The author proposes some 
 improvements, which are honourably received.] 
 In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained, the 
 professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses, 
 which is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These 
 unhappy people were proposing schemes for persuading 
 monarchs to choose favourites upon the score of their wisdom, 
 capacity, and virtue, of teaching ministers to consult the public 
 good, of rewarding merit, great abilities, eminent services, of 
 instructing princes to know their true interest, by placing it on the 
 same foundation with that of their people, of choosing for 
 employments persons qualified to exercise them, with many other 
 wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart 
 of man to conceive, and confirmed in me the old observation, 
 'that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational, which some 
 philosophers have not maintained for truth.' 
 But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the Academy, 
 as to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There 
 was a most ingenious doctor, who seemed to be perfectly versed 
 in the whole nature and system of government. This illustrious 
 person had very usefully employed his studies, in finding out. 
 effectual remedies for all diseases and corruptions to which the 
 several kinds of public administration are subject, by the vices or 
 infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of 
 those who are to obey. For instance: whereas all writers and 
 reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal resemblance 
 between the natural and the political body, can there be any thing 
 more evident, than that the health of both must be preserved, and 
 the diseases cured, by the same prescriptions? It is allowed, that 
 senates and great councils are often troubled with redundant, 
 ebullient, and other peccant humours, with many diseases of the 
 head, and more of the heart, with strong convulsions, with 
 grievous contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but 
 especially the right, with spleen, flatus, vertigos, and deliriums, 
 with scrofulous tumours, full of fetid purulent matter, with sour 
 frothy ructations: with canine appetites, and crudeness of 
 digestion, besides many others, needless to mention. 
 This doctor therefore proposed, 'that upon the meeting of the 
 senate, certain physicians should attend it the three first days of 
 their sitting, and at the close of each day's debate feel the pulses of 
 every senator, after which, having maturely considered and 
 consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the 
 methods of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate 
 house, attended by their apothecaries stored with proper 
 medicines, and before the members sat, administer to each of 
 them lenitives, aperitives, abstersives, corrosives, restringents, 
 palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics,. 
 acoustics, as their several cases required, and, according as these 
 medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them, at the next 
 meeting.' 
 This project could not be of any great expense to the public, and 
 might in my poor opinion, be of much use for the despatch of 
 business, in those countries where senates have any share in the 
 legislative power, beget unanimity, shorten debates, open a few 
 mouths which are now closed, and close many more which are 
 now open, curb the petulancy of the young, and correct the 
 positiveness of the old, rouse the stupid, and damp the pert. 
 Again: because it is a general complaint, that the favourites of 
 princes are troubled with short and weak memories, the same 
 doctor proposed, 'that whoever attended a first minister, after 
 having told his business, with the utmost brevity and in the 
 plainest words, should, at his departure, give the said minister a 
 tweak by the nose, or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or 
 lug him thrice by both ears, or run a pin into his breech, or pinch 
 his arm black and blue, to prevent forgetfulness, and at every 
 levee day, repeat the same operation, till the business were done, 
 or absolutely refused.' 
 He likewise directed, 'that every senator in the great council of a 
 nation, after he had delivered his opinion, and argued in the 
 defence of it, should be obliged to give his vote directly contrary, 
 because if that were done, the result would infallibly terminate in 
 the good of the public.'. 
 When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful 
 contrivance to reconcile them. The method is this: You take a 
 hundred leaders of each party, you dispose them into couples of 
 such whose heads are nearest of a size, then let two nice operators 
 saw off the occiput of each couple at the same time, in such a 
 manner that the brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs, 
 thus cut off, be interchanged, applying each to the head of his 
 opposite party-man. It seems indeed to be a work that requires 
 some exactness, but the professor assured us, 'that if it were 
 dexterously performed, the cure would be infallible.' For he 
 argued thus: 'that the two half brains being left to debate the 
 matter between themselves within the space of one skull, would 
 soon come to a good understanding, and produce that moderation, 
 as well as regularity of thinking, so much to be wished for in the 
 heads of those, who imagine they come into the world only to 
 watch and govern its motion: and as to the difference of brains, in 
 quantity or quality, among those who are directors in faction, the 
 doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, that 'it was a perfect 
 trifle.' 
 I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the 
 most commodious and effectual ways and means of raising 
 money, without grieving the subject. The first affirmed, 'the 
 justest method would be, to lay a certain tax upon vices and folly, 
 and the sum fixed upon every man to be rated, after the fairest 
 manner, by a jury of his neighbours.' The second was of an 
 opinion directly contrary, 'to tax those qualities of body and 
 mind, for which men chiefly value themselves, the rate to be more 
 or less, according to the degrees of excelling, the decision. 
 whereof should be left entirely to their own breast.' The highest 
 tax was upon men who are the greatest favourites of the other sex, 
 and the assessments, according to the number and nature of the 
 favours they have received, for which, they are allowed to be their 
 own vouchers. Wit, valour, and politeness, were likewise 
 proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by 
 every person's giving his own word for the quantum of what he 
 possessed. But as to honour, justice, wisdom, and learning, they 
 should not be taxed at all, because they are qualifications of so 
 singular a kind, that no man will either allow them in his 
 neighbour or value them in himself. 
 The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty 
 and skill in dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the 
 men, to be determined by their own judgment. But constancy, 
 chastity, good sense, and good nature, were not rated, because 
 they would not bear the charge of collecting. 
 To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that 
 the members should raffle for employment, every man first taking 
 an oath, and giving security, that he would vote for the court, 
 whether he won or not, after which, the losers had, in their turn, 
 the liberty of raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus, hope and 
 expectation would be kept alive, none would complain of broken 
 promises, but impute their disappointments wholly to fortune, 
 whose shoulders are broader and stronger than those of a ministry.. 
 Another professor showed me a large paper of instructions for 
 discovering plots and conspiracies against the government. He 
 advised great statesmen to examine into the diet of all suspected 
 persons, their times of eating, upon which side they lay in bed, 
 with which hand they wipe their posteriors, take a strict view of 
 their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the 
 consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a 
 judgment of their thoughts and designs, because men are never so 
 serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool, which he 
 found by frequent experiment, for, in such conjunctures, when he 
 used, merely as a trial, to consider which was the best way of 
 murdering the king, his ordure would have a tincture of green, but 
 quite different, when he thought only of raising an insurrection, or 
 burning the metropolis. 
 The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing 
 many observations, both curious and useful for politicians, but, as 
 I conceived, not altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the 
 author, and offered, if he pleased, to supply him with some 
 additions. He received my proposition with more compliance than 
 is usual among writers, especially those of the projecting species, 
 professing 'he would be glad to receive further information.' 
 I told him, 'that in the kingdom of Tribnia, (3) by the natives 
 called Langdon, (4) where I had sojourned some time in my 
 travels, the bulk of the people consist in a manner wholly of 
 discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, 
 evidences, swearers, together with their several subservient and 
 subaltern instruments, all under the colours, the conduct, and the. 
 pay of ministers of state, and their deputies. The plots, in that 
 kingdom, are usually the workmanship of those persons who 
 desire to raise their own characters of profound politicians, to 
 restore new vigour to a crazy administration, to stifle or divert 
 general discontents, to fill their coffers with forfeitures, and raise, 
 or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall best answer 
 their private advantage. It is first agreed and settled among them, 
 what suspected persons shall be accused of a plot, then, effectual 
 care is taken to secure all their letters and papers, and put the 
 owners in chains. These papers are delivered to a set of artists, 
 very dexterous in finding out the mysterious meanings of words, 
 syllables, and letters: for instance, they can discover a close stool, 
 to signify a privy council, a flock of geese, a senate, a lame dog, 
 an invader, the plague, a standing army, a buzzard, a prime 
 minister, the gout, a high priest, a gibbet, a secretary of state, a 
 chamber pot, a committee of grandees, a sieve, a court lady, a 
 broom, a revolution, a mouse-trap, an employment, a bottomless 
 pit, a treasury, a sink, a court, a cap and bells, a favourite, a 
 broken reed, a court of justice, an empty tun, a general, a running 
 sore, the administration. (5) 
 'When this method fails, they have two others more effectual, 
 which the learned among them call acrostics and anagrams. First, 
 they can decipher all initial letters into political meanings. Thus 
 N, shall signify a plot, B, a regiment of horse, L, a fleet at sea, or, 
 secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any 
 suspected paper, they can lay open the deepest designs of a 
 discontented party. So, for example, if I should say, in a letter to a 
 friend, 'Our brother Tom has just got the piles,' a skilful decipherer. 
 would discover, that the same letters which compose that 
 sentence, may be analysed into the following words, 'Resist--, a 
 plot is brought home--The tour.' And this is the anagrammatic 
 method.' 
 The professor made me great acknowledgments for 
 communicating these observations, and promised to make 
 honourable mention of me in his treatise. 
 I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer 
 continuance, and began to think of returning home to England.. 



CHAPTER VII.


 [The author leaves Lagado: arrives at Maldonada. No ship ready. 
 He takes a short voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His reception by the 
 governor.] 
 The continent, of which this kingdom is apart, extends itself, as I 
 have reason to believe, eastward, to that unknown tract of 
 America westward of California, and north, to the Pacific Ocean, 
 which is not above a hundred and fifty miles from Lagado, where 
 there is a good port, and much commerce with the great island of 
 Luggnagg, situated to the north-west about 29 degrees north 
 latitude, and 140 longitude. This island of Luggnagg stands south-eastward 
 of Japan, about a hundred leagues distant. There is a 
 strict alliance between the Japanese emperor and the king of 
 Luggnagg, which affords frequent opportunities of sailing from 
 one island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my course 
 this way, in order to my return to Europe. I hired two mules, with 
 a guide, to show me the way, and carry my small baggage. I took 
 leave of my noble protector, who had shown me so much favour, 
 and made me a generous present at my departure. 
 My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating. 
 When I arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there 
 was no ship in the harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor likely to be in. 
 some time. The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell 
 into some acquaintance, and was very hospitably received. A 
 gentleman of distinction said to me, 'that since the ships bound 
 for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a month, it might be 
 no disagreeable amusement for me to take a trip to the little island 
 of Glubbdubdrib, about five leagues off to the south-west.' He 
 offered himself and a friend to accompany me, and that I should 
 be provided with a small convenient bark for the voyage. 
 Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the 
 island of sorcerers or magicians. It is about one third as large as 
 the Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful: it is governed by the 
 head of a certain tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries 
 only among each other, and the eldest in succession is prince or 
 governor. He has a noble palace, and a park of about three 
 thousand acres, surrounded by a wall of hewn stone twenty feet 
 high. In this park are several small enclosures for cattle, corn, and 
 gardening. 
 The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics 
 of a kind somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy he has a 
 power of calling whom he pleases from the dead, and 
 commanding their service for twenty-four hours, but no longer, 
 nor can he call the same persons up again in less than three 
 months, except upon very extraordinary occasions. 
 When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the 
 morning, one of the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the 
 governor, and desired admittance for a stranger, who came on. 
 purpose to have the honour of attending on his highness. This was 
 immediately granted, and we all three entered the gate of the 
 palace between two rows of guards, armed and dressed after a 
 very antic manner, and with something in their countenances that 
 made my flesh creep with a horror I cannot express. We passed 
 through several apartments, between servants of the same sort, 
 ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber of 
 presence, where, after three profound obeisances, and a few 
 general questions, we were permitted to sit on three stools, near 
 the lowest step of his highness's throne. He understood the 
 language of Balnibarbi, although it was different from that of this 
 island. He desired me to give him some account of my travels, 
 and, to let me see that I should be treated without ceremony, he 
 dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his finger, at which, to 
 my great astonishment, they vanished in an instant, like visions in 
 a dream when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover myself 
 in some time, till the governor assured me, 'that I should receive 
 no hurt:' and observing my two companions to be under no 
 concern, who had been often entertained in the same manner, I 
 began to take courage, and related to his highness a short history 
 of my several adventures, yet not without some hesitation, and 
 frequently looking behind me to the place where I had seen those 
 domestic spectres. I had the honour to dine with the governor, 
 where a new set of ghosts served up the meat, and waited at table. 
 I now observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in the 
 morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired his highness to 
 excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace. 
 My two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining,. 
 which is the capital of this little island, and the next morning we 
 returned to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to 
 command us. 
 After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most 
 part of every day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I 
 soon grew so familiarized to the sight of spirits, that after the third 
 or fourth time they gave me no emotion at all: or, if I had any 
 apprehensions left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his 
 highness the governor ordered me 'to call up whatever persons I 
 would choose to name, and in whatever numbers, among all the 
 dead from the beginning of the world to the present time, and 
 command them to answer any questions I should think fit to ask, 
 with this condition, that my questions must be confined within the 
 compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I might depend 
 upon, that they would certainly tell me the truth, for lying was a 
 talent of no use in the lower world.' 
 I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great 
 a favour. We were in a chamber, from whence there was a fair 
 prospect into the park. And because my first inclination was to be 
 entertained with scenes of pomp and magnificence, I desired to 
 see Alexander the Great at the head of his army, just after the 
 battle of Arbela: which, upon a motion of the governor's finger, 
 immediately appeared in a large field, under the window where 
 we stood. Alexander was called up into the room: it was with 
 great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but little of 
 my own. He assured me upon his honour 'that he was not 
 poisoned, but died of a bad fever by excessive drinking.'. 
 Next, I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me 'he had not a 
 drop of vinegar in his camp.' 
 I saw Caesar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to 
 engage. I saw the former, in his last great triumph. I desired that 
 the senate of Rome might appear before me, in one large chamber, 
 and an assembly of somewhat a later age in counterview, in 
 another. The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and 
 demigods, the other, a knot of pedlars, pick-pockets, 
 highwayman, and bullies. 
 The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Caesar and Brutus 
 to advance towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at 
 the sight of Brutus, and could easily discover the most 
 consummate virtue, the greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind, 
 the truest love of his country, and general benevolence for 
 mankind, in every lineament of his countenance. I observed, with 
 much pleasure, that these two persons were in good intelligence 
 with each other, and Caesar freely confessed to me, 'that the 
 greatest actions of his own life were not equal, by many degrees, 
 to the glory of taking it away.' I had the honour to have much 
 conversation with Brutus, and was told, 'that his ancestor Junius, 
 Socrates, Epaminondas, Cato the younger, Sir Thomas More, and 
 himself were perpetually together:' a sextumvirate, to which all 
 the ages of the world cannot add a seventh.. 
 It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast 
 numbers of illustrious persons were called up to gratify that 
 insatiable desire I had to see the world in every period of antiquity 
 placed before me. I chiefly fed mine eyes with beholding the 
 destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to 
 oppressed and injured nations. But it is impossible to express the 
 satisfaction I received in my own mind, after such a manner as to 
 make it a suitable entertainment to the reader.. 



CHAPTER VIII.


 [A further account of Glubbdubdrib. Ancient and modern history 
 corrected.] 
 Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned 
 for wit and learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed 
 that Homer and Aristotle might appear at the head of all their 
 commentators, but these were so numerous, that some hundreds 
 were forced to attend in the court, and outward rooms of the 
 palace. I knew, and could distinguish those two heroes, at first 
 sight, not only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was 
 the taller and comelier person of the two, walked very erect for 
 one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I 
 ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His 
 visage was meagre, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I 
 soon discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the 
 rest of the company, and had never seen or heard of them before, 
 and I had a whisper from a ghost who shall be nameless, 'that 
 these commentators always kept in the most distant quarters from 
 their principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of 
 shame and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the 
 meaning of those authors to posterity.' I introduced Didymus and 
 Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better 
 than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a. 
 genius to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all 
 patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I 
 presented them to him, and he asked them, 'whether the rest of 
 the tribe were as great dunces as themselves?' 
 I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, 
 with whom I prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This 
 great philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in 
 natural philosophy, because he proceeded in many things upon 
 conjecture, as all men must do, and he found that Gassendi, who 
 had made the doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and 
 the vortices of Descartes, were equally to be exploded. He 
 predicted the same fate to ATTRACTION, whereof the present 
 learned are such zealous asserters. He said, 'that new systems of 
 nature were but new fashions, which would vary in every age, and 
 even those, who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical 
 principles, would flourish but a short period of time, and be out of 
 vogue when that was determined.' 
 I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient 
 learned. I saw most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on 
 the governor to call up Heliogabalus's cooks to dress us a dinner, 
 but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of 
 materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan broth, 
 but I was not able to get down a second spoonful. 
 The two gentlemen, who conducted me to the island, were pressed 
 by their private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in 
 seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest. 
 figure, for two or three hundred years past, in our own and other 
 countries of Europe, and having been always a great admirer of 
 old illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a 
 dozen or two of kings, with their ancestors in order for eight or 
 nine generations. But my disappointment was grievous and 
 unexpected. For, instead of a long train with royal diadems, I saw 
 in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and an Italian 
 prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have 
 too great a veneration for crowned heads, to dwell any longer on 
 so nice a subject. But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the 
 like, I was not so scrupulous. And I confess, it was not without 
 some pleasure, that I found myself able to trace the particular 
 features, by which certain families are distinguished, up to their 
 originals. I could plainly discover whence one family derives a 
 long chin, why a second has abounded with knaves for two 
 generations, and fools for two more, why a third happened to be 
 crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers, whence it came, what 
 Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, NEC VIR FORTIS, 
 NEC FOEMINA CASTA, how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice, 
 grew to be characteristics by which certain families are 
 distinguished as much as by their coats of arms, who first brought 
 the pox into a noble house, which has lineally descended 
 scrofulous tumours to their posterity. Neither could I wonder at all 
 this, when I saw such an interruption of lineages, by pages, 
 lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, fiddlers, players, captains, 
 and pickpockets.. 
 I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly 
 examined all the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes, 
 for a hundred years past, I found how the world had been misled 
 by prostitute writers, to ascribe the greatest exploits in war, to 
 cowards, the wisest counsel, to fools, sincerity, to flatterers, 
 Roman virtue, to betrayers of their country, piety, to atheists, 
 chastity, to sodomites, truth, to informers: how many innocent and 
 excellent persons had been condemned to death or banishment by 
 the practising of great ministers upon the corruption of judges, 
 and the malice of factions: how many villains had been exalted to 
 the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit: how great a 
 share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates 
 might be challenged by bawds, whores, pimps, parasites, and 
 buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and 
 integrity, when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of 
 great enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the 
 contemptible accidents to which they owed their success. 
 Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend 
 to write anecdotes, or secret history, who send so many kings to 
 their graves with a cup of poison, will repeat the discourse 
 between a prince and chief minister, where no witness was by, 
 unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries 
 of state, and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I 
 discovered the true causes of many great events that have 
 surprised the world, how a whore can govern the back-stairs, the 
 back-stairs a council, and the council a senate. A general 
 confessed, in my presence, 'that he got a victory purely by the 
 force of cowardice and ill conduct,' and an admiral, 'that, for. 
 want of proper intelligence, he beat the enemy, to whom he 
 intended to betray the fleet.' Three kings protested to me, 'that in 
 their whole reigns they never did once prefer any person of merit, 
 unless by mistake, or treachery of some minister in whom they 
 confided, neither would they do it if they were to live again:' and 
 they showed, with great strength of reason, 'that the royal throne 
 could not be supported without corruption, because that positive, 
 confident, restiff temper, which virtue infused into a man, was a 
 perpetual clog to public business.' 
 I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what 
 methods great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of 
 honour, and prodigious estates, and I confined my inquiry to a 
 very modern period: however, without grating upon present times, 
 because I would be sure to give no offence even to foreigners (for 
 I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least intend 
 my own country, in what I say upon this occasion,) a great number 
 of persons concerned were called up, and, upon a very slight 
 examination, discovered such a scene of infamy, that I cannot 
 reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury, oppression, 
 subornation, fraud, pandarism, and the like infirmities, were 
 among the most excusable arts they had to mention, and for these 
 I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some 
 confessed they owed their greatness and wealth to sodomy, or 
 incest, others, to the prostituting of their own wives and 
 daughters, others, to the betraying of their country or their prince, 
 some, to poisoning, more to the perverting of justice, in order to 
 destroy the innocent, I hope I may be pardoned, if these 
 discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound. 
 veneration, which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high 
 rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their 
 sublime dignity, by us their inferiors. 
 I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, 
 and desired to see the persons by whom those services were 
 performed. Upon inquiry I was told, 'that their names were to be 
 found on no record, except a few of them, whom history has 
 represented as the vilest of rogues and traitors.' As to the rest, I 
 had never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected 
 looks, and in the meanest habit, most of them telling me, 'they 
 died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a 
 gibbet.' 
 Among others, there was one person, whose case appeared a little 
 singular. He had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his 
 side. He told me, 'he had for many years been commander of a 
 ship, and in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break 
 through the enemy's great line of battle, sink three of their capital 
 ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony's 
 flight, and of the victory that ensued, that the youth standing by 
 him, his only son, was killed in the action.' He added, 'that upon 
 the confidence of some merit, the war being at an end, he went to 
 Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be preferred to a 
 greater ship, whose commander had been killed, but, without any 
 regard to his pretensions, it was given to a boy who had never 
 seen the sea, the son of Libertina, who waited on one of the 
 emperor's mistresses. Returning back to his own vessel, he was 
 charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favourite. 
 page of Publicola, the vice-admiral, whereupon he retired to a 
 poor farm at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his 
 life.' I was so curious to know the truth of this story, that I desired 
 Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in that fight. He 
 appeared, and confirmed the whole account: but with much more 
 advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or 
 concealed a great part of his merit. 
 I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in 
 that empire, by the force of luxury so lately introduced, which 
 made me less wonder at many parallel cases in other countries, 
 where vices of all kinds have reigned so much longer, and where 
 the whole praise, as well as pillage, has been engrossed by the 
 chief commander, who perhaps had the least title to either. 
 As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he 
 had done in the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to 
 observe how much the race of human kind was degenerated 
 among us within these hundred years past, how the pox, under all 
 its consequences and denominations had altered every lineament 
 of an English countenance, shortened the size of bodies, unbraced 
 the nerves, relaxed the sinews and muscles, introduced a sallow 
 complexion, and rendered the flesh loose and rancid. 
 I descended so low, as to desire some English yeoman of the old 
 stamp might be summoned to appear, once so famous for the 
 simplicity of their manners, diet, and dress, for justice in their 
 dealings, for their true spirit of liberty, for their valour, and love 
 of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved, after. 
 comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how all 
 these pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by 
 their grand-children, who, in selling their votes and managing at 
 elections, have acquired every vice and corruption that can 
 possibly be learned in a court.. 



CHAPTER IX.


 [The author returns to Maldonada. Sails to the kingdom of 
 Luggnagg. The author confined. He is sent for to court. The 
 manner of his admittance. The king's great lenity to his subjects.] 
 The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness, 
 the Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two 
 companions to Maldonada, where, after a fortnight's waiting, a 
 ship was ready to sail for Luggnagg. The two gentlemen, and 
 some others, were so generous and kind as to furnish me with 
 provisions, and see me on board. I was a month in this voyage. 
 We had one violent storm, and were under a necessity of steering 
 westward to get into the trade wind, which holds for above sixty 
 leagues. On the 21st of April, 1708, we sailed into the river of 
 Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the south-east point of 
 Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made 
 a signal for a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an 
 hour, by whom we were guided between certain shoals and rocks, 
 which are very dangerous in the passage, to a large basin, where a 
 fleet may ride in safety within a cable's length of the town-wall. 
 Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had 
 informed the pilots 'that I was a stranger, and great traveller,' 
 whereof these gave notice to a custom-house officer, by whom I. 
 was examined very strictly upon my landing. This officer spoke to 
 me in the language of Balnibarbi, which, by the force of much 
 commerce, is generally understood in that town, especially by 
 seamen and those employed in the customs. I gave him a short 
 account of some particulars, and made my story as plausible and 
 consistent as I could, but I thought it necessary to disguise my 
 country, and call myself a Hollander, because my intentions were 
 for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans 
 permitted to enter into that kingdom. I therefore told the officer, 
 'that having been shipwrecked on the coast of Balnibarbi, and 
 cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or the flying island 
 (of which he had often heard), and was now endeavouring to get 
 to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of returning to my 
 own country.' The officer said, 'I must be confined till he could 
 receive orders from court, for which he would write immediately, 
 and hoped to receive an answer in a fortnight.' I was carried to a 
 convenient lodging with a sentry placed at the door, however, I 
 had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with humanity 
 enough, being maintained all the time at the king's charge. I was 
 invited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it was 
 reported that I came from countries very remote, of which they 
 had never heard. 
 I hired a young man, who came in the same ship, to be an 
 interpreter, he was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years 
 at Maldonada, and was a perfect master of both languages. By his 
 assistance, I was able to hold a conversation with those who came 
 to visit me, but this consisted only of their questions, and my 
 answers.. 
 The despatch came from court about the time we expected. It 
 contained a warrant for conducting me and my retinue to 
 TRALDRAGDUBH, or TRILDROGDRIB (for it is pronounced 
 both ways as near as I can remember), by a party of ten horse. All 
 my retinue was that poor lad for an interpreter, whom I persuaded 
 into my service, and, at my humble request, we had each of us a 
 mule to ride on. A messenger was despatched half a day's journey 
 before us, to give the king notice of my approach, and to desire, 
 'that his majesty would please to appoint a day and hour, when it 
 would by his gracious pleasure that I might have the honour to 
 lick the dust before his footstool.' This is the court style, and I 
 found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my admittance 
 two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl upon my 
 belly, and lick the floor as I advanced, but, on account of my 
 being a stranger, care was taken to have it made so clean, that the 
 dust was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not 
 allowed to any but persons of the highest rank, when they desire 
 an admittance. Nay, sometimes the floor is strewed with dust on 
 purpose, when the person to be admitted happens to have 
 powerful enemies at court, and I have seen a great lord with his 
 mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the proper distance 
 from the throne, he was not able to speak a word. Neither is there 
 any remedy, because it is capital for those, who receive an 
 audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his majesty's presence. 
 There is indeed another custom, which I cannot altogether 
 approve of: when the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to 
 death in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands the floor to be 
 strewed with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition,. 
 which being licked up, infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours. 
 But in justice to this prince's great clemency, and the care he has 
 of his subjects' lives (wherein it were much to be wished that the 
 Monarchs of Europe would imitate him), it must be mentioned for 
 his honour, that strict orders are given to have the infected parts of 
 the floor well washed after every such execution, which, if his 
 domestics neglect, they are in danger of incurring his royal 
 displeasure. I myself heard him give directions, that one of his 
 pages should be whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about 
 washing the floor after an execution, but maliciously had omitted 
 it, by which neglect a young lord of great hopes, coming to an 
 audience, was unfortunately poisoned, although the king at that 
 time had no design against his life. But this good prince was so 
 gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise 
 that he would do so no more, without special orders. 
 To return from this digression. When I had crept within four yards 
 of the throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then 
 striking my forehead seven times against the ground, I 
 pronounced the following words, as they had been taught me the 
 night before, INCKPLING GLOFFTHROBB SQUUT 
 SERUMMBLHIOP MLASHNALT ZWIN TNODBALKUFFH 
 SLHIOPHAD GURDLUBH ASHT. This is the compliment, 
 established by the laws of the land, for all persons admitted to the 
 king's presence. It may be rendered into English thus: 'May your 
 celestial majesty outlive the sun, eleven moons and a half!' To 
 this the king returned some answer, which, although I could not 
 understand, yet I replied as I had been directed: FLUFT DRIN 
 YALERICK DWULDOM PRASTRAD MIRPUSH, which. 
 properly signifies, 'My tongue is in the mouth of my friend,' and 
 by this expression was meant, that I desired leave to bring my 
 interpreter, whereupon the young man already mentioned was 
 accordingly introduced, by whose intervention I answered as 
 many questions as his majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke 
 in the Balnibarbian tongue, and my interpreter delivered my 
 meaning in that of Luggnagg. 
 The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his 
 BLIFFMARKLUB, or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in 
 the court for me and my interpreter, with a daily allowance for my 
 table, and a large purse of gold for my common expenses. 
 I staid three months in this country, out of perfect obedience to his 
 majesty, who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very 
 honourable offers. But I thought it more consistent with prudence 
 and justice to pass the remainder of my days with my wife and 
 family.. 



CHAPTER X.


 [The Luggnaggians commended. A particular description of the 
 Struldbrugs, with many conversations between the author and 
 some eminent persons upon that subject.] 
 The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people, and although 
 they are not without some share of that pride which is peculiar to 
 all Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to 
 strangers, especially such who are countenanced by the court. I 
 had many acquaintance, and among persons of the best fashion, 
 and being always attended by my interpreter, the conversation we 
 had was not disagreeable. 
 One day, in much good company, I was asked by a person of 
 quality, 'whether I had seen any of their STRULDBRUGS, or 
 immortals?' I said, 'I had not,' and desired he would explain to 
 me 'what he meant by such an appellation, applied to a mortal 
 creature.' He told me 'that sometimes, though very rarely, a child 
 happened to be born in a family, with a red circular spot in the 
 forehead, directly over the left eyebrow, which was an infallible 
 mark that it should never die.' The spot, as he described it, 'was 
 about the compass of a silver threepence, but in the course of time 
 grew larger, and changed its colour, for at twelve years old it 
 became green, so continued till five and twenty, then turned to a. 
 deep blue: at five and forty it grew coal black, and as large as an 
 English shilling, but never admitted any further alteration.' He 
 said, 'these births were so rare, that he did not believe there could 
 be above eleven hundred struldbrugs, of both sexes, in the whole 
 kingdom, of which he computed about fifty in the metropolis, 
 and, among the rest, a young girl born, about three years ago: that 
 these productions were not peculiar to any family, but a mere 
 effect of chance, and the children of the STRULDBRUGS 
 themselves were equally mortal with the rest of the people.' 
 I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible 
 delight, upon hearing this account: and the person who gave it me 
 happening to understand the Balnibarbian language, which I 
 spoke very well, I could not forbear breaking out into expressions, 
 perhaps a little too extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture, 'Happy 
 nation, where every child hath at least a chance for being 
 immortal! Happy people, who enjoy so many living examples of 
 ancient virtue, and have masters ready to instruct them in the 
 wisdom of all former ages! but happiest, beyond all comparison, 
 are those excellent STRULDBRUGS, who, being born exempt 
 from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds 
 free and disengaged, without the weight and depression of spirits 
 caused by the continual apprehensions of death!' I discovered my 
 admiration that I had not observed any of these illustrious persons 
 at court, the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a 
 distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: and it was 
 impossible that his majesty, a most judicious prince, should not 
 provide himself with a good number of such wise and able 
 counsellors. Yet perhaps the virtue of those reverend sages was. 
 too strict for the corrupt and libertine manners of a court: and we 
 often find by experience, that young men are too opinionated and 
 volatile to be guided by the sober dictates of their seniors. 
 However, since the king was pleased to allow me access to his 
 royal person, I was resolved, upon the very first occasion, to 
 deliver my opinion to him on this matter freely and at large, by the 
 help of my interpreter, and whether he would please to take my 
 advice or not, yet in one thing I was determined, that his majesty 
 having frequently offered me an establishment in this country, I 
 would, with great thankfulness, accept the favour, and pass my 
 life here in the conversation of those superior beings the 
 STRULDBRUGS, if they would please to admit me.' 
 The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I 
 have already observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said 
 to me, with a sort of a smile which usually arises from pity to the 
 ignorant, 'that he was glad of any occasion to keep me among 
 them, and desired my permission to explain to the company what I 
 had spoke.' He did so, and they talked together for some time in 
 their own language, whereof I understood not a syllable, neither 
 could I observe by their countenances, what impression my 
 discourse had made on them. After a short silence, the same 
 person told me, 'that his friends and mine (so he thought fit to 
 express himself) were very much pleased with the judicious 
 remarks I had made on the great happiness and advantages of 
 immortal life, and they were desirous to know, in a particular 
 manner, what scheme of living I should have formed to myself, if 
 it had fallen to my lot to have been born a STRULDBRUG.'. 
 I answered, 'it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and 
 delightful a subject, especially to me, who had been often apt to 
 amuse myself with visions of what I should do, if I were a king, a 
 general, or a great lord: and upon this very case, I had frequently 
 run over the whole system how I should employ myself, and pass 
 the time, if I were sure to live for ever. 
 'That, if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a 
 STRULDBRUG, as soon as I could discover my own happiness, 
 by understanding the difference between life and death, I would 
 first resolve, by all arts and methods, whatsoever, to procure 
 myself riches. In the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I 
 might reasonably expect, in about two hundred years, to be the 
 wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second place, I would, from 
 my earliest youth, apply myself to the study of arts and sciences, 
 by which I should arrive in time to excel all others in learning. 
 Lastly, I would carefully record every action and event of 
 consequence, that happened in the public, impartially draw the 
 characters of the several successions of princes and great 
 ministers of state, with my own observations on every point. I 
 would exactly set down the several changes in customs, language, 
 fashions of dress, diet, and diversions. By all which acquirements, 
 I should be a living treasure of knowledge and wisdom, and 
 certainly become the oracle of the nation. 
 'I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable 
 manner, yet still on the saving side. I would entertain myself in 
 forming and directing the minds of hopeful young men, by 
 convincing them, from my own remembrance, experience, and. 
 observation, fortified by numerous examples, of the usefulness of 
 virtue in public and private life. But my choice and constant 
 companions should be a set of my own immortal brotherhood, 
 among whom, I would elect a dozen from the most ancient, down 
 to my own contemporaries. Where any of these wanted fortunes, I 
 would provide them with convenient lodges round my own estate, 
 and have some of them always at my table, only mingling a few of 
 the most valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would 
 harden me to lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your 
 posterity after the same manner, just as a man diverts himself with 
 the annual succession of pinks and tulips in his garden, without 
 regretting the loss of those which withered the preceding year. 
 'These STRULDBRUGS and I would mutually communicate our 
 observations and memorials, through the course of time, remark 
 the several gradations by which corruption steals into the world, 
 and oppose it in every step, by giving perpetual warning and 
 instruction to mankind, which, added to the strong influence of 
 our own example, would probably prevent that continual 
 degeneracy of human nature so justly complained of in all ages. 
 'Add to this, the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of 
 states and empires, the changes in the lower and upper world, 
 ancient cities in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of 
 kings, famous rivers lessening into shallow brooks, the ocean 
 leaving one coast dry, and overwhelming another, the discovery 
 of many countries yet unknown, barbarity overrunning the 
 politest nations, and the most barbarous become civilized. I. 
 should then see the discovery of the longitude, the perpetual 
 motion, the universal medicine, and many other great inventions, 
 brought to the utmost perfection. 
 'What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by 
 outliving and confirming our own predictions, by observing the 
 progress and return of comets, with the changes of motion in the 
 sun, moon, and stars!' 
 I enlarged upon many other topics, which the natural desire of 
 endless life, and sublunary happiness, could easily furnish me 
 with. When I had ended, and the sum of my discourse had been 
 interpreted, as before, to the rest of the company, there was a good 
 deal of talk among them in the language of the country, not 
 without some laughter at my expense. At last, the same gentleman 
 who had been my interpreter, said, 'he was desired by the rest to 
 set me right in a few mistakes, which I had fallen into through the 
 common imbecility of human nature, and upon that allowance 
 was less answerable for them. That this breed of 
 STRULDBRUGS was peculiar to their country, for there were no 
 such people either in Balnibarbi or Japan, where he had the 
 honour to be ambassador from his majesty, and found the natives 
 in both those kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was 
 possible: and it appeared from my astonishment when he first 
 mentioned the matter to me, that I received it as a thing wholly 
 new, and scarcely to be credited. That in the two kingdoms above 
 mentioned, where, during his residence, he had conversed very 
 much, he observed long life to be the universal desire and wish of 
 mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was sure to hold. 
 back the other as strongly as he could. That the oldest had still 
 hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest 
 evil, from which nature always prompted him to retreat. Only in 
 this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living was not so eager, 
 from the continual example of the STRULDBRUGS before their 
 eyes. 
 'That the system of living contrived by me, was unreasonable and 
 unjust, because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and 
 vigour, which no man could be so foolish to hope, however 
 extravagant he may be in his wishes. That the question therefore 
 was not, whether a man would choose to be always in the prime of 
 youth, attended with prosperity and health, but how he would pass 
 a perpetual life under all the usual disadvantages which old age 
 brings along with it. For although few men will avow their desires 
 of being immortal, upon such hard conditions, yet in the two 
 kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed 
 that every man desired to put off death some time longer, let it 
 approach ever so late: and he rarely heard of any man who died 
 willingly, except he were incited by the extremity of grief or 
 torture. And he appealed to me, whether in those countries I had 
 travelled, as well as my own, I had not observed the same general 
 disposition.' 
 After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the 
 STRULDBRUGS among them. He said, 'they commonly acted 
 like mortals till about thirty years old, after which, by degrees, 
 they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they 
 came to fourscore. This he learned from their own confession: for. 
 otherwise, there not being above two or three of that species born 
 in an age, they were too few to form a general observation by. 
 When they came to fourscore years, which is reckoned the 
 extremity of living in this country, they had not only all the follies 
 and infirmities of other old men, but many more which arose from 
 the dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only 
 opinionative, peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but 
 incapable of friendship, and dead to all natural affection, which 
 never descended below their grandchildren. Envy and impotent 
 desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects against 
 which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of the 
 younger sort and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the 
 former, they find themselves cut off from all possibility of 
 pleasure, and whenever they see a funeral, they lament and repine 
 that others have gone to a harbour of rest to which they 
 themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no remembrance 
 of anything but what they learned and observed in their youth and 
 middle-age, and even that is very imperfect, and for the truth or 
 particulars of any fact, it is safer to depend on common tradition, 
 than upon their best recollections. The least miserable among 
 them appear to be those who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their 
 memories, these meet with more pity and assistance, because they 
 want many bad qualities which abound in others. 
 'If a STRULDBRUG happen to marry one of his own kind, the 
 marriage is dissolved of course, by the courtesy of the kingdom, 
 as soon as the younger of the two comes to be fourscore, for the 
 law thinks it a reasonable indulgence, that those who are. 
 condemned, without any fault of their own, to a perpetual 
 continuance in the world, should not have their misery doubled by 
 the load of a wife. 
 'As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they 
 are looked on as dead in law, their heirs immediately succeed to 
 their estates, only a small pittance is reserved for their support, 
 and the poor ones are maintained at the public charge. After that 
 period, they are held incapable of any employment of trust or 
 profit, they cannot purchase lands, or take leases, neither are they 
 allowed to be witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not 
 even for the decision of meers and bounds. 
 'At ninety, they lose their teeth and hair, they have at that age no 
 distinction of taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, 
 without relish or appetite. The diseases they were subject to still 
 continue, without increasing or diminishing. In talking, they 
 forget the common appellation of things, and the names of 
 persons, even of those who are their nearest friends and relations. 
 For the same reason, they never can amuse themselves with 
 reading, because their memory will not serve to carry them from 
 the beginning of a sentence to the end, and by this defect, they are 
 deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might otherwise 
 be capable. 
 The language of this country being always upon the flux, the 
 STRULDBRUGS of one age do not understand those of another, 
 neither are they able, after two hundred years, to hold any. 
 conversation (farther than by a few general words) with their 
 neighbours the mortals, and thus they lie under the disadvantage 
 of living like foreigners in their own country.' 
 This was the account given me of the STRULDBRUGS, as near 
 as I can remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different ages, 
 the youngest not above two hundred years old, who were brought 
 to me at several times by some of my friends, but although they 
 were told, 'that I was a great traveller, and had seen all the world,' 
 they had not the least curiosity to ask me a question, only desired 
 'I would give them SLUMSKUDASK,' or a token of 
 remembrance, which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the 
 law, that strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by the 
 public, although indeed with a very scanty allowance. 
 They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of 
 them is born, it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded 
 very particularly so that you may know their age by consulting the 
 register, which, however, has not been kept above a thousand 
 years past, or at least has been destroyed by time or public 
 disturbances. But the usual way of computing how old they are, is 
 by asking them what kings or great persons they can remember, 
 and then consulting history, for infallibly the last prince in their 
 mind did not begin his reign after they were four-score years old. 
 They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld, and the 
 women more horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities 
 in extreme old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness, in 
 proportion to their number of years, which is not to be described,. 
 and among half a dozen, I soon distinguished which was the 
 eldest, although there was not above a century or two between 
 them. 
 The reader will easily believe, that from what I had hear and seen, 
 my keen appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew 
 heartily ashamed of the pleasing visions I had formed, and 
 thought no tyrant could invent a death into which I would not run 
 with pleasure, from such a life. The king heard of all that had 
 passed between me and my friends upon this occasion, and rallied 
 me very pleasantly, wishing I could send a couple of 
 STRULDBRUGS to my own country, to arm our people against 
 the fear of death, but this, it seems, is forbidden by the 
 fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well 
 content with the trouble and expense of transporting them. 
 I could not but agree, that the laws of this kingdom relative to the 
 STRULDBRUGS were founded upon the strongest reasons, and 
 such as any other country would be under the necessity of 
 enacting, in the like circumstances. Otherwise, as avarice is the 
 necessary consequence of old age, those immortals would in time 
 become proprietors of the whole nation, and engross the civil 
 power, which, for want of abilities to manage, must end in the ruin 
 of the public.. 



CHAPTER XI.


 [The author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he 
 returns in a Dutch ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to 
 England.] 
 I thought this account of the STRULDBRUGS might be some 
 entertainment to the reader, because it seems to be a little out of 
 the common way, at least I do not remember to have met the like 
 in any book of travels that has come to my hands: and if I am 
 deceived, my excuse must be, that it is necessary for travellers 
 who describe the same country, very often to agree in dwelling on 
 the same particulars, without deserving the censure of having 
 borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote before them. 
 There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and 
 the great empire of Japan, and it is very probable, that the 
 Japanese authors may have given some account of the 
 STRULDBRUGS, but my stay in Japan was so short, and I was so 
 entirely a stranger to the language, that I was not qualified to 
 make any inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will 
 be curious and able enough to supply my defects.. 
 His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment 
 in his court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my 
 native country, was pleased to give me his license to depart, and 
 honoured me with a letter of recommendation, under his own 
 hand, to the Emperor of Japan. He likewise presented me with 
 four hundred and forty-four large pieces of gold (this nation 
 delighting in even numbers), and a red diamond, which I sold in 
 England for eleven hundred pounds. 
 On the 6th of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty, and 
 all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to 
 conduct me to Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the south-west 
 part of the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry 
 me to Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage. 
 We landed at a small port-town called Xamoschi, situated on the 
 south-east part of Japan, the town lies on the western point, where 
 there is a narrow strait leading northward into along arm of the 
 sea, upon the north-west part of which, Yedo, the metropolis, 
 stands. At landing, I showed the custom-house officers my letter 
 from the king of Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew the 
 seal perfectly well, it was as broad as the palm of my hand. The 
 impression was, A KING LIFTING UP A LAME BEGGAR 
 FROM THE EARTH. The magistrates of the town, hearing of my 
 letter, received me as a public minister. They provided me with 
 carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo, where I was 
 admitted to an audience, and delivered my letter, which was 
 opened with great ceremony, and explained to the Emperor by an 
 interpreter, who then gave me notice, by his majesty's order, 'that. 
 I should signify my request, and, whatever it were, it should be 
 granted, for the sake of his royal brother of Luggnagg.' This 
 interpreter was a person employed to transact affairs with the 
 Hollanders. He soon conjectured, by my countenance, that I was a 
 European, and therefore repeated his majesty's commands in Low 
 Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I answered, as I had before 
 determined, 'that I was a Dutch merchant, shipwrecked in a very 
 remote country, whence I had travelled by sea and land to 
 Luggnagg, and then took shipping for Japan, where I knew my 
 countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get an 
 opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly 
 entreated his royal favour, to give order that I should be conducted 
 in safety to Nangasac.' To this I added another petition, 'that for 
 the sake of my patron the king of Luggnagg, his majesty would 
 condescend to excuse my performing the ceremony imposed on 
 my countrymen, of trampling upon the crucifix: because I had 
 been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes, without any 
 intention of trading.' When this latter petition was interpreted to 
 the Emperor, he seemed a little surprised, and said, 'he believed I 
 was the first of my countrymen who ever made any scruple in this 
 point, and that he began to doubt, whether I was a real Hollander, 
 or not, but rather suspected I must be a Christian. However, for 
 the reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of 
 Luggnagg by an uncommon mark of his favour, he would comply 
 with the singularity of my humour, but the affair must be managed 
 with dexterity, and his officers should be commanded to let me 
 pass, as it were by forgetfulness. For he assured me, that if the 
 secret should be discovered by my countrymen the Dutch, they 
 would cut my throat in the voyage.' I returned my thanks, by the. 
 interpreter, for so unusual a favour, and some troops being at that 
 time on their march to Nangasac, the commanding officer had 
 orders to convey me safe thither, with particular instructions about 
 the business of the crucifix. 
 On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very 
 long and troublesome journey. I soon fell into the company of 
 some Dutch sailors belonging to the Amboyna, of Amsterdam, a 
 stout ship of 450 tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my 
 studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch well. The seamen soon knew 
 whence I came last: they were curious to inquire into my voyages 
 and course of life. I made up a story as short and probable as I 
 could, but concealed the greatest part. I knew many persons in 
 Holland. I was able to invent names for my parents, whom I 
 pretended to be obscure people in the province of Gelderland. I 
 would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he 
 pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland, but understanding I was 
 a surgeon, he was contented to take half the usual rate, on 
 condition that I would serve him in the way of my calling. Before 
 we took shipping, I was often asked by some of the crew, whether 
 I had performed the ceremony above mentioned? I evaded the 
 question by general answers, 'that I had satisfied the Emperor and 
 court in all particulars.' However, a malicious rogue of a skipper 
 went to an officer, and pointing to me, told him, 'I had not yet 
 trampled on the crucifix,' but the other, who had received 
 instructions to let me pass, gave the rascal twenty strokes on the 
 shoulders with a bamboo, after which I was no more troubled with 
 such questions.. 
 Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed 
 with a fair wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we staid only to 
 take in fresh water. On the 10th of April, 1710, we arrived safe at 
 Amsterdam, having lost only three men by sickness in the voyage, 
 and a fourth, who fell from the foremast into the sea, not far from 
 the coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for 
 England, in a small vessel belonging to that city. 
 On the 16th of April we put in at the Downs. I landed next 
 morning, and saw once more my native country, after an absence 
 of five years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff, 
 where I arrived the same day at two in the afternoon, and found 
 my wife and family in good health.. 



 * PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS * 





CHAPTER I.


 [The author sets out as captain of a ship. His men conspire against 
 him, confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on shore in 
 an unknown land. He travels up into the country. The Yahoos, a 
 strange sort of animal, described. The author meets two 
 Houyhnhnms.] 
 I continued at home with my wife and children about five months, 
 in a very happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of 
 knowing when I was well. I left my poor wife big with child, and 
 accepted an advantageous offer made me to be captain of the 
 Adventurer, a stout merchantman of 350 tons: for I understood 
 navigation well, and being grown weary of a surgeon's 
 employment at sea, which, however, I could exercise upon 
 occasion, I took a skilful young man of that calling, one Robert 
 Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the 7th 
 day of September, 1710, on the 14th we met with Captain Pocock, 
 of Bristol, at Teneriffe, who was going to the bay of Campechy to 
 cut logwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm, I 
 heard since my return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped 
 but one cabin boy. He was an honest man, and a good sailor, but a 
 little too positive in his own opinions, which was the cause of his. 
 destruction, as it has been with several others, for if he had 
 followed my advice, he might have been safe at home with his 
 family at this time, as well as myself. 
 I had several men who died in my ship of calentures, so that I was 
 forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands, 
 where I touched, by the direction of the merchants who employed 
 me, which I had soon too much cause to repent: for I found 
 afterwards, that most of them had been buccaneers. I had fifty 
 hands onboard, and my orders were, that I should trade with the 
 Indians in the South-Sea, and make what discoveries I could. 
 These rogues, whom I had picked up, debauched my other men, 
 and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the ship, and secure me, 
 which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and binding 
 me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard, if I offered 
 to stir. I told them, 'I was their prisoner, and would submit.' This 
 they made me swear to do, and then they unbound me, only 
 fastening one of my legs with a chain, near my bed, and placed a 
 sentry at my door with his piece charged, who was commanded to 
 shoot me dead if I attempted my liberty. They sent me own 
 victuals and drink, and took the government of the ship to 
 themselves. Their design was to turn pirates and, plunder the 
 Spaniards, which they could not do till they got more men. But 
 first they resolved to sell the goods the ship, and then go to 
 Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died since 
 my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with the 
 Indians, but I knew not what course they took, being kept a close 
 prisoner in my cabin, and expecting nothing less than to be 
 murdered, as they often threatened me.. 
 Upon the 9th day of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to 
 my cabin, and said, 'he had orders from the captain to set me 
 ashore.' I expostulated with him, but in vain, neither would he so 
 much as tell me who their new captain was. They forced me into 
 the long-boat, letting me put on my best suit of clothes, which 
 were as good as new, and take a small bundle of linen, but no 
 arms, except my hanger, and they were so civil as not to search 
 my pockets, into which I conveyed what money I had, with some 
 other little necessaries. They rowed about a league, and then set 
 me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what country it 
 was. They all swore, 'they knew no more than myself,' but said, 
 'that the captain' (as they called him) 'was resolved, after they 
 had sold the lading, to get rid of me in the first place where they 
 could discover land.' They pushed off immediately, advising me 
 to make haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide, and so bade 
 me farewell. 
 In this desolate condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon 
 firm ground, where I sat down on a bank to rest myself, and 
 consider what I had best do. When I was a little refreshed, I went 
 up into the country, resolving to deliver myself to the first savages 
 I should meet, and purchase my life from them by some bracelets, 
 glass rings, and other toys, which sailors usually provide 
 themselves with in those voyages, and whereof I had some about 
 me. The land was divided by long rows of trees, not regularly 
 planted, but naturally growing, there was great plenty of grass, 
 and several fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly, for fear of 
 being surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind, or. 
 on either side. I fell into a beaten road, where I saw many tracts of 
 human feet, and some of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld 
 several animals in a field, and one or two of the same kind sitting 
 in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed, which a 
 little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to 
 observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the place 
 where I lay, gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their 
 form. Their heads and breasts were covered with a thick hair, 
 some frizzled, and others lank, they had beards like goats, and a 
 long ridge of hair down their backs, and the fore parts of their legs 
 and feet, but the rest of their bodies was bare, so that I might see 
 their skins, which were of a brown buff colour. They had no tails, 
 nor any hair at all on their buttocks, except about the anus, which, 
 I presume, nature had placed there to defend them as they sat on 
 the ground, for this posture they used, as well as lying down, and 
 often stood on their hind feet. They climbed high trees as nimbly 
 as a squirrel, for they had strong extended claws before and 
 behind, terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would 
 often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious agility. The 
 females were not so large as the males, they had long lank hair on 
 their heads, but none on their faces, nor any thing more than a sort 
 of down on the rest of their bodies, except about the anus and 
 pudenda. The dugs hung between their fore feet, and often 
 reached almost to the ground as they walked. The hair of both 
 sexes was of several colours, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon 
 the whole, I never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable an 
 animal, or one against which I naturally conceived so strong an 
 antipathy. So that, thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt 
 and aversion, I got up, and pursued the beaten road, hoping it. 
 might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I had not got far, 
 when I met one of these creatures full in my way, and coming up 
 directly to me. The ugly monster, when he saw me, distorted 
 several ways, every feature of his visage, and stared, as at an 
 object he had never seen before, then approaching nearer, lifted up 
 his fore-paw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell, 
 but I drew my hanger, and gave him a good blow with the flat side 
 of it, for I durst not strike with the edge, fearing the inhabitants 
 might be provoked against me, if they should come to know that I 
 had killed or maimed any of their cattle. When the beast felt the 
 smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at least 
 forty came flocking about me from the next field, howling and 
 making odious faces, but I ran to the body of a tree, and leaning 
 my back against it, kept them off by waving my hanger. Several of 
 this cursed brood, getting hold of the branches behind, leaped up 
 into the tree, whence they began to discharge their excrements on 
 my head, however, I escaped pretty well by sticking close to the 
 stem of the tree, but was almost stifled with the filth, which fell 
 about me on every side. 
 In the midst of this distress, I observed them all to run away on a 
 sudden as fast as they could, at which I ventured to leave the tree 
 and pursue the road, wondering what it was that could put them 
 into this fright. But looking on my left hand, I saw a horse 
 walking softly in the field, which my persecutors having sooner 
 discovered, was the cause of their flight. The horse started a little, 
 when he came near me, but soon recovering himself, looked full 
 in my face with manifest tokens of wonder, he viewed my hands 
 and feet, walking round me several times. I would have pursued. 
 my journey, but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking 
 with a very mild aspect, never offering the least violence. We 
 stood gazing at each other for some time, at last I took the 
 boldness to reach my hand towards his neck with a design to 
 stroke it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys, when 
 they are going to handle a strange horse. But this animal seemed 
 to receive my civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his 
 brows, softly raising up his right fore-foot to remove my hand. 
 Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a cadence, 
 that I almost began to think he was speaking to himself, in some 
 language of his own. 
 While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up, who 
 applying himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently 
 struck each other's right hoof before, neighing several times by 
 turns, and varying the sound, which seemed to be almost 
 articulate. They went some paces off, as if it were to confer 
 together, walking side by side, backward and forward, like 
 persons deliberating upon some affair of weight, but often turning 
 their eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not escape. 
 I was amazed to see such actions and behaviour in brute beasts, 
 and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this country 
 were endued with a proportionable degree of reason, they must 
 needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave me so 
 much comfort, that I resolved to go forward, until I could discover 
 some house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the 
 two horses to discourse together as they pleased. But the first, 
 who was a dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after 
 me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to understand. 
 what he meant, whereupon I turned back, and came near to him to 
 expect his farther commands: but concealing my fear as much as I 
 could, for I began to be in some pain how this adventure might 
 terminate, and the reader will easily believe I did not much like 
 my present situation. 
 The two horses came up close to me, looking with great 
 earnestness upon my face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my 
 hat all round with his right fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much 
 that I was forced to adjust it better by taking it off and settling it 
 again, whereat, both he and his companion (who was a brown 
 bay) appeared to be much surprised: the latter felt the lappet of my 
 coat, and finding it to hang loose about me, they both looked with 
 new signs of wonder. He stroked my right hand, seeming to 
 admire the softness and colour, but he squeezed it so hard 
 between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar, after 
 which they both touched me with all possible tenderness. They 
 were under great perplexity about my shoes and stockings, which 
 they felt very often, neighing to each other, and using various 
 gestures, not unlike those of a philosopher, when he would 
 attempt to solve some new and difficult phenomenon. 
 Upon the whole, the behaviour of these animals was so orderly 
 and rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they 
 must needs be magicians, who had thus metamorphosed 
 themselves upon some design, and seeing a stranger in the way, 
 resolved to divert themselves with him, or, perhaps, were really 
 amazed at the sight of a man so very different in habit, feature, 
 and complexion, from those who might probably live in so remote. 
 a climate. Upon the strength of this reasoning, I ventured to 
 address them in the following manner: 'Gentlemen, if you be 
 conjurers, as I have good cause to believe, you can understand my 
 language, therefore I make bold to let your worships know that I 
 am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes upon 
 your coast, and I entreat one of you to let me ride upon his back, 
 as if he were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be 
 relieved. In return of which favour, I will make you a present of 
 this knife and bracelet,' taking them out of my pocket. The two 
 creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great 
 attention, and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards 
 each other, as if they were engaged in serious conversation. I 
 plainly observed that their language expressed the passions very 
 well, and the words might, with little pains, be resolved into an 
 alphabet more easily than the Chinese. 
 I could frequently distinguish the word YAHOO, which was 
 repeated by each of them several times: and although it was 
 impossible for me to conjecture what it meant, yet while the two 
 horses were busy in conversation, I endeavoured to practise this 
 word upon my tongue, and as soon as they were silent, I boldly 
 pronounced YAHOO in a loud voice, imitating at the same time, 
 as near as I could, the neighing of a horse, at which they were both 
 visibly surprised, and the gray repeated the same word twice, as if 
 he meant to teach me the right accent, wherein I spoke after him 
 as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve every 
 time, though very far from any degree of perfection. Then the bay 
 tried me with a second word, much harder to be pronounced, but 
 reducing it to the English orthography, may be spelt thus,. 
 HOUYHNHNM. I did not succeed in this so well as in the former, 
 but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune, and they 
 both appeared amazed at my capacity. 
 After some further discourse, which I then conjectured might 
 relate to me, the two friends took their leaves, with the same 
 compliment of striking each other's hoof, and the gray made me 
 signs that I should walk before him, wherein I thought it prudent 
 to comply, till I could find a better director. When I offered to 
 slacken my pace, he would cry HHUUN HHUUN: I guessed his 
 meaning, and gave him to understand, as well as I could, 'that I 
 was weary, and not able to walk faster,' upon which he would 
 stand awhile to let me rest.. 



CHAPTER II.


 [The author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house 
 described. The author's reception. The food of the Houyhnhnms. 
 The author in distress for want of meat. Is at last relieved. His 
 manner of feeding in this country.] 
 Having travelled about three miles, we came to a long kind of 
 building, made of timber stuck in the ground, and wattled across, 
 the roof was low and covered with straw. I now began to be a little 
 comforted, and took out some toys, which travellers usually carry 
 for presents to the savage Indians of America, and other parts, in 
 hopes the people of the house would be thereby encouraged to 
 receive me kindly. The horse made me a sign to go in first, it was 
 a large room with a smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger, 
 extending the whole length on one side. There were three nags 
 and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down upon 
 their hams, which I very much wondered at, but wondered more 
 to see the rest employed in domestic business, these seemed but 
 ordinary cattle. However, this confirmed my first opinion, that a 
 people who could so far civilise brute animals, must needs excel 
 in wisdom all the nations of the world.. 
 The gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill 
 treatment which the others might have given me. He neighed to 
 them several times in a style of authority, and received answers. 
 Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of 
 the house, to which you passed through three doors, opposite to 
 each other, in the manner of a vista. We went through the second 
 room towards the third. Here the gray walked in first, beckoning 
 me to attend: I waited in the second room, and got ready my 
 presents for the master and mistress of the house, they were two 
 knives, three bracelets of false pearls, a small looking-glass, and a 
 bead necklace. The horse neighed three or four times, and I waited 
 to hear some answers in a human voice, but I heard no other 
 returns than in the same dialect, only one or two a little shriller 
 than his. I began to think that this house must belong to some 
 person of great note among them, because there appeared so much 
 ceremony before I could gain admittance. But, that a man of 
 quality should be served all by horses, was beyond my 
 comprehension. I feared my brain was disturbed by my sufferings 
 and misfortunes. I roused myself, and looked about me in the 
 room where I was left alone: this was furnished like the first, only 
 after a more elegant manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the same 
 objects still occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awake 
 myself, hoping I might be in a dream. I then absolutely concluded, 
 that all these appearances could be nothing else but necromancy 
 and magic. But I had no time to pursue these reflections, for the 
 gray horse came to the door, and made me a sign to follow him. 
 into the third room where I saw a very comely mare, together with 
 a colt and foal, sitting on their haunches upon mats of straw, not 
 unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean. 
 The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming 
 up close, after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave 
 me a most contemptuous look, and turning to the horse, I heard 
 the word YAHOO often repeated betwixt them, the meaning of 
 which word I could not then comprehend, although it was the first 
 I had learned to pronounce. But I was soon better informed, to my 
 everlasting mortification, for the horse, beckoning to me with his 
 head, and repeating the HHUUN, HHUUN, as he did upon the 
 road, which I understood was to attend him, led me out into a kind 
 of court, where was another building, at some distance from the 
 house. Here we entered, and I saw three of those detestable 
 creatures, which I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots, 
 and the flesh of some animals, which I afterwards found to be that 
 of asses and dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or 
 disease. They were all tied by the neck with strong withes 
 fastened to a beam, they held their food between the claws of their 
 fore feet, and tore it with their teeth. 
 The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie 
 the largest of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast 
 and I were brought close together, and by our countenances 
 diligently compared both by master and servant, who thereupon 
 repeated several times the word YAHOO. My horror and 
 astonishment are not to be described, when I observed in this 
 abominable animal, a perfect human figure: the face of it indeed. 
 was flat and broad, the nose depressed, the lips large, and the 
 mouth wide, but these differences are common to all savage 
 nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are distorted, by 
 the natives suffering their infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or 
 by carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their face against 
 the mothers' shoulders. The fore-feet of the YAHOO differed from 
 my hands in nothing else but the length of the nails, the coarseness 
 and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the backs. There 
 was the same resemblance between our feet, with the same 
 differences, which I knew very well, though the horses did not, 
 because of my shoes and stockings, the same in every part of our 
 bodies except as to hairiness and colour, which I have already 
 described. 
 The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was 
 to see the rest of my body so very different from that of a 
 YAHOO, for which I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had 
 no conception. The sorrel nag offered me a root, which he held 
 (after their manner, as we shall describe in its proper place) 
 between his hoof and pastern, I took it in my hand, and, having 
 smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He brought 
 out of the YAHOOS' kennel a piece of ass's flesh, but it smelt so 
 offensively that I turned from it with loathing: he then threw it to 
 the YAHOO, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwards 
 showed me a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of oats, but I shook 
 my head, to signify that neither of these were food for me. And 
 indeed I now apprehended that I must absolutely starve, if I did 
 not get to some of my own species, for as to those filthy 
 YAHOOS, although there were few greater lovers of mankind at. 
 that time than myself, yet I confess I never saw any sensitive 
 being so detestable on all accounts, and the more I came near 
 them the more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that country. 
 This the master horse observed by my behaviour, and therefore 
 sent the YAHOO back to his kennel. He then put his fore-hoof to 
 his mouth, at which I was much surprised, although he did it with 
 ease, and with a motion that appeared perfectly natural, and made 
 other signs, to know what I would eat, but I could not return him 
 such an answer as he was able to apprehend, and if he had 
 understood me, I did not see how it was possible to contrive any 
 way for finding myself nourishment. While we were thus 
 engaged, I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to her, 
 and expressed a desire to go and milk her. This had its effect, for 
 he led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant to open 
 a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen and wooden 
 vessels, after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a 
 large bowlful, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself 
 well refreshed. 
 About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle 
 drawn like a sledge by four YAHOOS. There was in it an old 
 steed, who seemed to be of quality, he alighted with his hind-feet 
 forward, having by accident got a hurt in his left fore-foot. He 
 came to dine with our horse, who received him with great civility. 
 They dined in the best room, and had oats boiled in milk for the 
 second course, which the old horse ate warm, but the rest cold. 
 Their mangers were placed circular in the middle of the room, and 
 divided into several partitions, round which they sat on their 
 haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle was a large rack,. 
 with angles answering to every partition of the manger, so that 
 each horse and mare ate their own hay, and their own mash of oats 
 and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behaviour of the 
 young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master 
 and mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant to their guest. 
 The gray ordered me to stand by him, and much discourse passed 
 between him and his friend concerning me, as I found by the 
 stranger's often looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the 
 word YAHOO. 
 I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing, 
 seemed perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done 
 to my fore-feet. He put his hoof three or four times to them, as if 
 he would signify, that I should reduce them to their former shape, 
 which I presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting 
 them into my pocket. This occasioned farther talk, and I saw the 
 company was pleased with my behaviour, whereof I soon found 
 the good effects. I was ordered to speak the few words I 
 understood, and while they were at dinner, the master taught me 
 the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some others, which I 
 could readily pronounce after him, having from my youth a great 
 facility in learning languages. 
 When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by 
 signs and words made me understand the concern he was in that I 
 had nothing to eat. Oats in their tongue are called HLUNNH. 
 This word I pronounced two or three times, for although I had 
 refused them at first, yet, upon second thoughts, I considered that 
 I could contrive to make of them a kind of bread, which might be. 
 sufficient, with milk, to keep me alive, till I could make my 
 escape to some other country, and to creatures of my own species. 
 The horse immediately ordered a white mare servant of his family 
 to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden tray. These 
 I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed them till the 
 husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the grain. I 
 ground and beat them between two stones, then took water, and 
 made them into a paste or cake, which I toasted at the fire and eat 
 warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid diet, though common 
 enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by time, and 
 having been often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the 
 first experiment I had made how easily nature is satisfied. And I 
 cannot but observe, that I never had one hours sickness while I 
 stayed in this island. It is true, I sometimes made a shift to catch a 
 rabbit, or bird, by springs made of YAHOO'S hairs, and I often 
 gathered wholesome herbs, which I boiled, and ate as salads with 
 my bread, and now and then, for a rarity, I made a little butter, and 
 drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss for salt, but custom 
 soon reconciled me to the want of it, and I am confident that the 
 frequent use of salt among us is an effect of luxury, and was first 
 introduced only as a provocative to drink, except where it is 
 necessary for preserving flesh in long voyages, or in places 
 remote from great markets, for we observe no animal to be fond 
 of it but man, and as to myself, when I left this country, it was a 
 great while before I could endure the taste of it in anything that I 
 ate.. 
 This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other 
 travellers fill their books, as if the readers were personally 
 concerned whether we fare well or ill. However, it was necessary 
 to mention this matter, lest the world should think it impossible 
 that I could find sustenance for three years in such a country, and 
 among such inhabitants. 
 When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place 
 for me to lodge in, it was but six yards from the house and 
 separated from the stable of the YAHOOS. Here I got some straw, 
 and covering myself with my own clothes, slept very sound. But I 
 was in a short time better accommodated, as the reader shall know 
 hereafter, when I come to treat more particularly about my way of 
 living.. 



CHAPTER III.


 [The author studies to learn the language. The Houyhnhnm, his 
 master, assists in teaching him. The language described. Several 
 Houyhnhnms of quality come out of curiosity to see the author. 
 He gives his master a short account of his voyage.] 
 My principal endeavour was to learn the language, which my 
 master (for so I shall henceforth call him), and his children, and 
 every servant of his house, were desirous to teach me, for they 
 looked upon it as a prodigy, that a brute animal should discover 
 such marks of a rational creature. I pointed to every thing, and 
 inquired the name of it, which I wrote down in my journal-book 
 when I was alone, and corrected my bad accent by desiring those 
 of the family to pronounce it often. In this employment, a sorrel 
 nag, one of the under-servants, was very ready to assist me. 
 In speaking, they pronounced through the nose and throat, and 
 their language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch, or German, 
 of any I know in Europe, but is much more graceful and 
 significant. The emperor Charles V. made almost the same 
 observation, when he said 'that if he were to speak to his horse, it 
 should be in High-Dutch.'. 
 The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great, that he 
 spent many hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced 
 (as he afterwards told me) that I must be a YAHOO, but my 
 teachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him, which 
 were qualities altogether opposite to those animals. He was most 
 perplexed about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself, 
 whether they were a part of my body: for I never pulled them off 
 till the family were asleep, and got them on before they waked in 
 the morning. My master was eager to learn 'whence I came, how I 
 acquired those appearances of reason, which I discovered in all 
 my actions, and to know my story from my own mouth, which he 
 hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency I made in 
 learning and pronouncing their words and sentences.' To help my 
 memory, I formed all I learned into the English alphabet, and writ 
 the words down, with the translations. This last, after some time, I 
 ventured to do in my master's presence. It cost me much trouble to 
 explain to him what I was doing, for the inhabitants have not the 
 least idea of books or literature. 
 In about ten weeks time, I was able to understand most of his 
 questions, and in three months, could give him some tolerable 
 answers. He was extremely curious to know 'from what part of 
 the country I came, and how I was taught to imitate a rational 
 creature, because the YAHOOS (whom he saw I exactly 
 resembled in my head, hands, and face, that were only visible), 
 with some appearance of cunning, and the strongest disposition to 
 mischief, were observed to be the most unteachable of all brutes.' 
 I answered, 'that I came over the sea, from a far place, with many 
 others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel made of the. 
 bodies of trees: that my companions forced me to land on this 
 coast, and then left me to shift for myself.' It was with some 
 difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I brought him to 
 understand me. He replied, 'that I must needs be mistaken, or that 
 I said the thing which was not,' for they have no word in their 
 language to express lying or falsehood. 'He knew it was 
 impossible that there could be a country beyond the sea, or that a 
 parcel of brutes could move a wooden vessel whither they pleased 
 upon water. He was sure no HOUYHNHNM alive could make 
 such a vessel, nor would trust YAHOOS to manage it.' 
 The word HOUYHNHNM, in their tongue, signifies a HORSE, 
 and, in its etymology, the PERFECTION OF NATURE. I told my 
 master, 'that I was at a loss for expression, but would improve as 
 fast as I could, and hoped, in a short time, I should be able to tell 
 him wonders.' He was pleased to direct his own mare, his colt, 
 and foal, and the servants of the family, to take all opportunities of 
 instructing me, and every day, for two or three hours, he was at 
 the same pains himself. Several horses and mares of quality in the 
 neighbourhood came often to our house, upon the report spread of 
 'a wonderful YAHOO, that could speak like a HOUYHNHNM, 
 and seemed, in his words and actions, to discover some 
 glimmerings of reason.' These delighted to converse with me: 
 they put many questions, and received such answers as I was able 
 to return. By all these advantages I made so great a progress, that, 
 in five months from my arrival I understood whatever was 
 spoken, and could express myself tolerably well.. 
 The HOUYHNHNMS, who came to visit my master out of a 
 design of seeing and talking with me, could hardly believe me to 
 be a right YAHOO, because my body had a different covering 
 from others of my kind. They were astonished to observe me 
 without the usual hair or skin, except on my head, face, and hands, 
 but I discovered that secret to my master upon an accident which 
 happened about a fortnight before. 
 I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family 
 were gone to bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself 
 with my clothes. It happened, one morning early, that my master 
 sent for me by the sorrel nag, who was his valet. When he came I 
 was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one side, and my shirt 
 above my waist. I awaked at the noise he made, and observed him 
 to deliver his message in some disorder, after which he went to 
 my master, and in a great fright gave him a very confused account 
 of what he had seen. This I presently discovered, for, going as 
 soon as I was dressed to pay my attendance upon his honour, he 
 asked me 'the meaning of what his servant had reported, that I 
 was not the same thing when I slept, as I appeared to be at other 
 times, that his vale assured him, some part of me was white, some 
 yellow, at least not so white, and some brown.' 
 I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to 
 distinguish myself, as much as possible, from that cursed race of 
 YAHOOS, but now I found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, 
 I considered that my clothes and shoes would soon wear out, 
 which already were in a declining condition, and must be supplied 
 by some contrivance from the hides of YAHOOS, or other brutes,. 
 whereby the whole secret would be known. I therefore told my 
 master, 'that in the country whence I came, those of my kind 
 always covered their bodies with the hairs of certain animals 
 prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the inclemencies 
 of air, both hot and cold, of which, as to my own person, I would 
 give him immediate conviction, if he pleased to command me: 
 only desiring his excuse, if I did not expose those parts that nature 
 taught us to conceal.' He said, 'my discourse was all very strange, 
 but especially the last part, for he could not understand, why 
 nature should teach us to conceal what nature had given, that 
 neither himself nor family were ashamed of any parts of their 
 bodies, but, however, I might do as I pleased.' Whereupon I first 
 unbuttoned my coat, and pulled it off. I did the same with my 
 waistcoat. I drew off my shoes, stockings, and breeches. I let my 
 shirt down to my waist, and drew up the bottom, fastening it like a 
 girdle about my middle, to hide my nakedness. 
 My master observed the whole performance with great signs of 
 curiosity and admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern, 
 one piece after another, and examined them diligently, he then 
 stroked my body very gently, and looked round me several times, 
 after which, he said, it was plain I must be a perfect YAHOO, but 
 that I differed very much from the rest of my species in the 
 softness, whiteness, and smoothness of my skin, my want of hair 
 in several parts of my body, the shape and shortness of my claws 
 behind and before, and my affectation of walking continually on 
 my two hinder feet. He desired to see no more, and gave me leave 
 to put on my clothes again, for I was shuddering with cold.. 
 I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the 
 appellation of YAHOO, an odious animal, for which I had so utter 
 a hatred and contempt: I begged he would forbear applying that 
 word to me, and make the same order in his family and among his 
 friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise, 'that the 
 secret of my having a false covering to my body, might be known 
 to none but himself, at least as long as my present clothing should 
 last, for as to what the sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his 
 honour might command him to conceal it.' 
 All this my master very graciously consented to, and thus the 
 secret was kept till my clothes began to wear out, which I was 
 forced to supply by several contrivances that shall hereafter be 
 mentioned. In the meantime, he desired 'I would go on with my 
 utmost diligence to learn their language, because he was more 
 astonished at my capacity for speech and reason, than at the figure 
 of my body, whether it were covered or not,' adding, 'that he 
 waited with some impatience to hear the wonders which I 
 promised to tell him.' 
 Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me: 
 he brought me into all company, and made them treat me with 
 civility, 'because,' as he told them, privately, 'this would put me 
 into good humour, and make me more diverting.' 
 Every day, when I waited on him, beside the trouble he was at in 
 teaching, he would ask me several questions concerning myself, 
 which I answered as well as I could, and by these means he had 
 already received some general ideas, though very imperfect. It. 
 would be tedious to relate the several steps by which I advanced 
 to a more regular conversation, but the first account I gave of 
 myself in any order and length was to this purpose: 
 'That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to 
 tell him, with about fifty more of my own species, that we 
 travelled upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood, 
 and larger than his honour's house. I described the ship to him in 
 the best terms I could, and explained, by the help of my 
 handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by the wind. 
 That upon a quarrel among us, I was set on shore on this coast, 
 where I walked forward, without knowing whither, till he 
 delivered me from the persecution of those execrable YAHOOS.' 
 He asked me, 'who made the ship, and how it was possible that 
 the HOUYHNHNMS of my country would leave it to the 
 management of brutes?' My answer was, 'that I durst proceed no 
 further in my relation, unless he would give me his word and 
 honour that he would not be offended, and then I would tell him 
 the wonders I had so often promised.' He agreed, and I went on 
 by assuring him, that the ship was made by creatures like myself, 
 who, in all the countries I had travelled, as well as in my own, 
 were the only governing rational animals, and that upon my 
 arrival hither, I was as much astonished to see the 
 HOUYHNHNMS act like rational beings, as he, or his friends, 
 could be, in finding some marks of reason in a creature he was 
 pleased to call a YAHOO, to which I owned my resemblance in 
 every part, but could not account for their degenerate and brutal 
 nature. I said farther, 'that if good fortune ever restored me to my 
 native country, to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do,. 
 everybody would believe, that I said the thing that was not, that I 
 invented the story out of my own head, and (with all possible 
 respect to himself, his family, and friends, and under his promise 
 of not being offended) our countrymen would hardly think it 
 probable that a HOUYHNHNM should be the presiding creature 
 of a nation, and a YAHOO the brute.'. 



CHAPTER IV.


 [The Houyhnhnm's notion of truth and falsehood. The author's 
 discourse disapproved by his master. The author gives a more 
 particular account of himself, and the accidents of his voyage.] 
 My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his 
 countenance, because doubting, or not believing, are so little 
 known in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to 
 behave themselves under such circumstances. And I remember, in 
 frequent discourses with my master concerning the nature of 
 manhood in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of 
 lying and false representation, it was with much difficulty that he 
 comprehended what I meant, although he had otherwise a most 
 acute judgment. For he argued thus: 'that the use of speech was to 
 make us understand one another, and to receive information of 
 facts, now, if any one said the thing which was not, these ends 
 were defeated, because I cannot properly be said to understand 
 him, and I am so far from receiving information, that he leaves me 
 worse than in ignorance, for I am led to believe a thing black, 
 when it is white, and short, when it is long.' And these were all 
 the notions he had concerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly 
 well understood, and so universally practised, among human 
 creatures.. 
 To return from this digression. When I asserted that the YAHOOS 
 were the only governing animals in my country, which my master 
 said was altogether past his conception, he desired to know, 
 'whether we had HOUYHNHNMS among us, and what was their 
 employment?' I told him, 'we had great numbers, that in summer 
 they grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept in houses with 
 hay and oats, where YAHOO servants were employed to rub their 
 skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their feet, serve them with 
 food, and make their beds.' 'I understand you well,' said my 
 master: 'it is now very plain, from all you have spoken, that 
 whatever share of reason the YAHOOS pretend to, the 
 HOUYHNHNMS are your masters, I heartily wish our YAHOOS 
 would be so tractable.' I begged 'his honour would please to 
 excuse me from proceeding any further, because I was very 
 certain that the account he expected from me would be highly 
 displeasing.' But he insisted in commanding me to let him know 
 the best and the worst. 
 I told him 'he should be obeyed.' I owned 'that the 
 HOUYHNHNMS among us, whom we called horses, were the 
 most generous and comely animals we had, that they excelled in 
 strength and swiftness, and when they belonged to persons of 
 quality, were employed in travelling, racing, or drawing chariots, 
 they were treated with much kindness and care, till they fell into 
 diseases, or became foundered in the feet, but then they were sold, 
 and used to all kind of drudgery till they died, after which their 
 skins were stripped, and sold for what they were worth, and their 
 bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of prey. But the 
 common race of horses had not so good fortune, being kept by. 
 farmers and carriers, and other mean people, who put them to 
 greater labour, and fed them worse.' I described, as well as I 
 could, our way of riding, the shape and use of a bridle, a saddle, a 
 spur, and a whip, of harness and wheels. I added, 'that we 
 fastened plates of a certain hard substance, called iron, at the 
 bottom of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by 
 the stony ways, on which we often travelled.' 
 My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered 
 'how we dared to venture upon a HOUYHNHNM'S back, for he 
 was sure, that the weakest servant in his house would be able to 
 shake off the strongest YAHOO, or by lying down and rolling on 
 his back, squeeze the brute to death.' I answered 'that our horses 
 were trained up, from three or four years old, to the several uses 
 we intended them for, that if any of them proved intolerably 
 vicious, they were employed for carriages, that they were severely 
 beaten, while they were young, for any mischievous tricks, that 
 the males, designed for the common use of riding or draught, were 
 generally castrated about two years after their birth, to take down 
 their spirits, and make them more tame and gentle, that they were 
 indeed sensible of rewards and punishments, but his honour 
 would please to consider, that they had not the least tincture of 
 reason, any more than the YAHOOS in this country.' 
 It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master 
 a right idea of what I spoke, for their language does not abound in 
 variety of words, because their wants and passions are fewer than 
 among us. But it is impossible to express his noble resentment at 
 our savage treatment of the HOUYHNHNM race, particularly. 
 after I had explained the manner and use of castrating horses 
 among us, to hinder them from propagating their kind, and to 
 render them more servile. He said, 'if it were possible there could 
 be any country where YAHOOS alone were endued with reason, 
 they certainly must be the governing animal, because reason in 
 time will always prevail against brutal strength. But, considering 
 the frame of our bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no 
 creature of equal bulk was so ill-contrived for employing that 
 reason in the common offices of life,' whereupon he desired to 
 know whether those among whom I lived resembled me, or the 
 YAHOOS of his country?' I assured him, 'that I was as well 
 shaped as most of my age, but the younger, and the females, were 
 much more soft and tender, and the skins of the latter generally as 
 white as milk.' He said, 'I differed indeed from other YAHOOS, 
 being much more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed, but, in 
 point of real advantage, he thought I differed for the worse: that 
 my nails were of no use either to my fore or hinder feet, as to my 
 fore feet, he could not properly call them by that name, for he 
 never observed me to walk upon them, that they were too soft to 
 bear the ground, that I generally went with them uncovered, 
 neither was the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same 
 shape, or so strong as that on my feet behind: that I could not walk 
 with any security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must 
 inevitably fail.' He then began to find fault with other parts of my 
 body: 'the flatness of my face, the prominence of my nose, mine 
 eyes placed directly in front, so that I could not look on either side 
 without turning my head: that I was not able to feed myself, 
 without lifting one of my fore-feet to my mouth: and therefore 
 nature had placed those joints to answer that necessity. He knew. 
 not what could be the use of those several clefts and divisions in 
 my feet behind, that these were too soft to bear the hardness and 
 sharpness of stones, without a covering made from the skin of 
 some other brute, that my whole body wanted a fence against heat 
 and cold, which I was forced to put on and off every day, with 
 tediousness and trouble: and lastly, that he observed every animal 
 in this country naturally to abhor the YAHOOS, whom the weaker 
 avoided, and the stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us 
 to have the gift of reason, he could not see how it were possible to 
 cure that natural antipathy, which every creature discovered 
 against us, nor consequently how we could tame and render them 
 serviceable. However, he would,' as he said, 'debate the matter 
 no farther, because he was more desirous to know my own story, 
 the country where I was born, and the several actions and events 
 of my life, before I came hither.' 
 I assured him, 'how extremely desirous I was that he should be 
 satisfied on every point, but I doubted much, whether it would be 
 possible for me to explain myself on several subjects, whereof his 
 honour could have no conception, because I saw nothing in his 
 country to which I could resemble them, that, however, I would 
 do my best, and strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly 
 desiring his assistance when I wanted proper words,' which he 
 was pleased to promise me. 
 I said, 'my birth was of honest parents, in an island called 
 England, which was remote from his country, as many days' 
 journey as the strongest of his honour's servants could travel in the 
 annual course of the sun, that I was bred a surgeon, whose trade it. 
 is to cure wounds and hurts in the body, gotten by accident or 
 violence, that my country was governed by a female man, whom 
 we called queen, that I left it to get riches, whereby I might 
 maintain myself and family, when I should return, that, in my last 
 voyage, I was commander of the ship, and had about fifty 
 YAHOOS under me, many of which died at sea, and I was forced 
 to supply them by others picked out from several nations, that our 
 ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a great 
 storm, and the second by striking against a rock.' Here my master 
 interposed, by asking me, 'how I could persuade strangers, out of 
 different countries, to venture with me, after the losses I had 
 sustained, and the hazards I had run?' I said, 'they were fellows of 
 desperate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their birth on 
 account of their poverty or their crimes. Some were undone by 
 lawsuits, others spent all they had in drinking, whoring, and 
 gaming, others fled for treason, many for murder, theft, poisoning, 
 robbery, perjury, forgery, coining false money, for committing 
 rapes, or sodomy, for flying from their colours, or deserting to the 
 enemy, and most of them had broken prison, none of these durst 
 return to their native countries, for fear of being hanged, or of 
 starving in a jail, and therefore they were under the necessity of 
 seeking a livelihood in other places.' 
 During this discourse, my master was pleased to interrupt me 
 several times. I had made use of many circumlocutions in 
 describing to him the nature of the several crimes for which most 
 of our crew had been forced to fly their country. This labour took 
 up several days' conversation, before he was able to comprehend 
 me. He was wholly at a loss to know what could be the use or. 
 necessity of practising those vices. To clear up which, I 
 endeavoured to give some ideas of the desire of power and riches, 
 of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and envy. All 
 this I was forced to define and describe by putting cases and 
 making suppositions. After which, like one whose imagination 
 was struck with something never seen or heard of before, he 
 would lift up his eyes with amazement and indignation. Power, 
 government, war, law, punishment, and a thousand other things, 
 had no terms wherein that language could express them, which 
 made the difficulty almost insuperable, to give my master any 
 conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent 
 understanding, much improved by contemplation and converse, 
 he at last arrived at a competent knowledge of what human nature, 
 in our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and desired I 
 would give him some particular account of that land which we 
 call Europe, but especially of my own country.. 



CHAPTER V.


 [The author at his master's command, informs him of the state of 
 England. The causes of war among the princes of Europe. The 
 author begins to explain the English constitution.] 
 The reader may please to observe, that the following extract of 
 many conversations I had with my master, contains a summary of 
 the most material points which were discoursed at several times 
 for above two years, his honour often desiring fuller satisfaction, 
 as I farther improved in the HOUYHNHNM tongue. I laid before 
 him, as well as I could, the whole state of Europe, I discoursed of 
 trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences, and the answers I 
 gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon several 
 subjects, were a fund of conversation not to be exhausted. But I 
 shall here only set down the substance of what passed between us 
 concerning my own country, reducing it in order as well as I can, 
 without any regard to time or other circumstances, while I strictly 
 adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be able to 
 do justice to my master's arguments and expressions, which must 
 needs suffer by my want of capacity, as well as by a translation 
 into our barbarous English.. 
 In obedience, therefore, to his honour's commands, I related to 
 him the Revolution under the Prince of Orange, the long war with 
 France, entered into by the said prince, and renewed by his 
 successor, the present queen, wherein the greatest powers of 
 Christendom were engaged, and which still continued: I 
 computed, at his request, 'that about a million of YAHOOS might 
 have been killed in the whole progress of it, and perhaps a 
 hundred or more cities taken, and five times as many ships burnt 
 or sunk.' 
 He asked me, 'what were the usual causes or motives that made 
 one country go to war with another?' I answered 'they were 
 innumerable, but I should only mention a few of the chief. 
 Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think they have 
 land or people enough to govern, sometimes the corruption of 
 ministers, who engage their master in a war, in order to stifle or 
 divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil administration. 
 Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for 
 instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh, whether the 
 juice of a certain berry be blood or wine, whether whistling be a 
 vice or a virtue, whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into 
 the fire, what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white, 
 red, or gray, and whether it should be long or short, narrow or 
 wide, dirty or clean, with many more. 
 Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long a 
 continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion, 
 especially if it be in things indifferent.. 
 'Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of 
 them shall dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of 
 them pretend to any right. Sometimes one prince quarrels with 
 another for fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a 
 war is entered upon, because the enemy is too strong, and 
 sometimes, because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbours 
 want the things which we have, or have the things which we want, 
 and we both fight, till they take ours, or give us theirs. It is a very 
 justifiable cause of a war, to invade a country after the people 
 have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or 
 embroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter 
 into war against our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies 
 convenient for us, or a territory of land, that would render our 
 dominions round and complete. If a prince sends forces into a 
 nation, where the people are poor and ignorant, he may lawfully 
 put half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to 
 civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is 
 a very kingly, honourable, and frequent practice, when one prince 
 desires the assistance of another, to secure him against an 
 invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven out the invader, 
 should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or 
 banish, the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood, or 
 marriage, is a frequent cause of war between princes, and the 
 nearer the kindred is, the greater their disposition to quarrel, poor 
 nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud, and pride and 
 hunger will ever be at variance. For these reasons, the trade of a 
 soldier is held the most honourable of all others, because a soldier 
 is a YAHOO hired to kill, in cold blood, as many of his own 
 species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can.. 
 'There is likewise a kind of beggarly princes in Europe, not able 
 to make war by themselves, who hire out their troops to richer 
 nations, for so much a day to each man, of which they keep three-fourths 
 to themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance: 
 such are those in many northern parts of Europe.' 
 'What you have told me,' said my master, 'upon the subject of 
 war, does indeed discover most admirably the effects of that 
 reason you pretend to: however, it is happy that the shame is 
 greater than the danger, and that nature has left you utterly 
 incapable of doing much mischief. For, your mouths lying flat 
 with your faces, you can hardly bite each other to any purpose, 
 unless by consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet before and 
 behind, they are so short and tender, that one of our YAHOOS 
 would drive a dozen of yours before him. And therefore, in 
 recounting the numbers of those who have been killed in battle, I 
 cannot but think you have said the thing which is not.' 
 I could not forbear shaking my head, and smiling a little at his 
 ignorance. And being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a 
 description of cannons, culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols, 
 bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats, attacks, 
 undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights, ships sunk 
 with a thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side, dying 
 groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling 
 to death under horses' feet, flight, pursuit, victory, fields strewed 
 with carcases, left for food to dogs and wolves and birds of prey, 
 plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and destroying. And to. 
 set forth the valour of my own dear countrymen, I assured him, 
 'that I had seen them blow up a hundred enemies at once in a 
 siege, and as many in a ship, and beheld the dead bodies drop 
 down in pieces from the clouds, to the great diversion of the 
 spectators.' 
 I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded 
 me silence. He said, 'whoever understood the nature of 
 YAHOOS, might easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to 
 be capable of every action I had named, if their strength and 
 cunning equalled their malice. But as my discourse had increased 
 his abhorrence of the whole species, so he found it gave him a 
 disturbance in his mind to which he was wholly a stranger before. 
 He thought his ears, being used to such abominable words, might, 
 by degrees, admit them with less detestation: that although he 
 hated the YAHOOS of this country, yet he no more blamed them 
 for their odious qualities, than he did a GNNAYH (a bird of prey) 
 for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But when a 
 creature pretending to reason could be capable of such enormities, 
 he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than 
 brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that, instead of 
 reason we were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase 
 our natural vices, as the reflection from a troubled stream returns 
 the image of an ill shapen body, not only larger but more 
 distorted.'. 
 He added, 'that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, 
 both in this and some former discourses. There was another point, 
 which a little perplexed him at present. I had informed him, that 
 some of our crew left their country on account of being ruined by 
 law, that I had already explained the meaning of the word, but he 
 was at a loss how it should come to pass, that the law, which was 
 intended for every man's preservation, should be any man's ruin. 
 Therefore he desired to be further satisfied what I meant by law, 
 and the dispensers thereof, according to the present practice in my 
 own country, because he thought nature and reason were 
 sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to be, in 
 showing us what he ought to do, and what to avoid.' 
 I assured his honour, 'that the law was a science in which I had 
 not much conversed, further than by employing advocates, in 
 vain, upon some injustices that had been done me: however, I 
 would give him all the satisfaction I was able.' 
 I said, 'there was a society of men among us, bred up from their 
 youth in the art of proving, by words multiplied for the purpose, 
 that white is black, and black is white, according as they are paid. 
 To this society all the rest of the people are slaves. For example, 
 if my neighbour has a mind to my cow, he has a lawyer to prove 
 that he ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to 
 defend my right, it being against all rules of law that any man 
 should be allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I, who 
 am the right owner, lie under two great disadvantages: first, my 
 lawyer, being practised almost from his cradle in defending 
 falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would be an. 
 advocate for justice, which is an unnatural office he always 
 attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill-will. The second 
 disadvantage is, that my lawyer must proceed with great caution, 
 or else he will be reprimanded by the judges, and abhorred by his 
 brethren, as one that would lessen the practice of the law. And 
 therefore I have but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is, 
 to gain over my adversary's lawyer with a double fee, who will 
 then betray his client by insinuating that he hath justice on his 
 side. The second way is for my lawyer to make my cause appear 
 as unjust as he can, by allowing the cow to belong to my 
 adversary: and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak 
 the favour of the bench. Now your honour is to know, that these 
 judges are persons appointed to decide all controversies of 
 property, as well as for the trial of criminals, and picked out from 
 the most dexterous lawyers, who are grown old or lazy, and 
 having been biassed all their lives against truth and equity, lie 
 under such a fatal necessity of favouring fraud, perjury, and 
 oppression, that I have known some of them refuse a large bribe 
 from the side where justice lay, rather than injure the faculty, by 
 doing any thing unbecoming their nature or their office. 
 'It is a maxim among these lawyers that whatever has been done 
 before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special 
 care to record all the decisions formerly made against common 
 justice, and the general reason of mankind. These, under the name 
 of precedents, they produce as authorities to justify the most 
 iniquitous opinions, and the judges never fail of directing 
 accordingly.. 
 'In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the 
 cause, but are loud, violent, and tedious, in dwelling upon all 
 circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the 
 case already mentioned, they never desire to know what claim or 
 title my adversary has to my cow, but whether the said cow were 
 red or black, her horns long or short, whether the field I graze her 
 in be round or square, whether she was milked at home or abroad, 
 what diseases she is subject to, and the like, after which they 
 consult precedents, adjourn the cause from time to time, and in 
 ten, twenty, or thirty years, come to an issue. 
 'It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant 
 and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and 
 wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to 
 multiply, whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence 
 of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong, so that it will take 
 thirty years to decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors 
 for six generations belongs to me, or to a stranger three hundred 
 miles off. 
 'In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the 
 method is much more short and commendable: the judge first 
 sends to sound the disposition of those in power, after which he 
 can easily hang or save a criminal, strictly preserving all due 
 forms of law.' 
 Here my master interposing, said, 'it was a pity, that creatures 
 endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind, as these lawyers, 
 by the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not. 
 rather encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and 
 knowledge.' In answer to which I assured his honour, 'that in all 
 points out of their own trade, they were usually the most ignorant 
 and stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common 
 conversation, avowed enemies to all knowledge and learning, and 
 equally disposed to pervert the general reason of mankind in 
 every other subject of discourse as in that of their own 
 profession.'. 



CHAPTER VI.


 [A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The 
 character of a first minister of state in European courts.] 
 My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives 
 could incite this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary 
 themselves, and engage in a confederacy of injustice, merely for 
 the sake of injuring their fellow-animals, neither could he 
 comprehend what I meant in saying, they did it for hire. 
 Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the use of 
 money, the materials it was made of, and the value of the metals, 
 'that when a YAHOO had got a great store of this precious 
 substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had a mind to, the 
 finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most 
 costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful 
 females. Therefore since money alone was able to perform all 
 these feats, our YAHOOS thought they could never have enough 
 of it to spend, or to save, as they found themselves inclined, from 
 their natural bent either to profusion or avarice, that the rich man 
 enjoyed the fruit of the poor man's labour, and the latter were a 
 thousand to one in proportion to the former, that the bulk of our 
 people were forced to live miserably, by labouring every day for 
 small wages, to make a few live plentifully.'. 
 I enlarged myself much on these, and many other particulars to 
 the same purpose, but his honour was still to seek, for he went 
 upon a supposition, that all animals had a title to their share in the 
 productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over 
 the rest. Therefore he desired I would let him know, 'what these 
 costly meats were, and how any of us happened to want them?' 
 Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as came into my head, 
 with the various methods of dressing them, which could not be 
 done without sending vessels by sea to every part of the world, as 
 well for liquors to drink as for sauces and innumerable other 
 conveniences. I assured him 'that this whole globe of earth must 
 be at least three times gone round before one of our better female 
 YAHOOS could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in.' He said 
 'that must needs be a miserable country which cannot furnish 
 food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was, 
 how such vast tracts of ground as I described should be wholly 
 without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of sending 
 over the sea for drink.' I replied 'that England (the dear place of 
 my nativity) was computed to produce three times the quantity of 
 food more than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as 
 liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out of the fruit of certain 
 trees, which made excellent drink, and the same proportion in 
 every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury 
 and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we 
 sent away the greatest part of our necessary things to other 
 countries, whence, in return, we brought the materials of diseases, 
 folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves. Hence it follows of 
 necessity, that vast numbers of our people are compelled to seek. 
 their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, pimping, 
 flattering, suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying, 
 fawning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning, 
 whoring, canting, libelling, freethinking, and the like 
 occupations:' every one of which terms I was at much pains to 
 make him understand. 
 'That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to 
 supply the want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort 
 of liquid which made us merry by putting us out of our senses, 
 diverted all melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant 
 imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes and banished our fears, 
 suspended every office of reason for a time, and deprived us of the 
 use of our limbs, till we fell into a profound sleep, although it 
 must be confessed, that we always awaked sick and dispirited, and 
 that the use of this liquor filled us with diseases which made our 
 lives uncomfortable and short. 
 'But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves 
 by furnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich 
 and to each other. For instance, when I am at home, and dressed as 
 I ought to be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred 
 tradesmen, the building and furniture of my house employ as 
 many more, and five times the number to adorn my wife.' 
 I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their 
 livelihood by attending the sick, having, upon some occasions, 
 informed his honour that many of my crew had died of diseases. 
 But here it was with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to. 
 apprehend what I meant. 'He could easily conceive, that a 
 HOUYHNHNM, grew weak and heavy a few days before his 
 death, or by some accident might hurt a limb, but that nature, who 
 works all things to perfection, should suffer any pains to breed in 
 our bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to know the reason 
 of so unaccountable an evil.' 
 I told him 'we fed on a thousand things which operated contrary 
 to each other, that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank 
 without the provocation of thirst, that we sat whole nights 
 drinking strong liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to 
 sloth, inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented 
 digestion, that prostitute female YAHOOS acquired a certain 
 malady, which bred rottenness in the bones of those who fell into 
 their embraces, that this, and many other diseases, were 
 propagated from father to son, so that great numbers came into the 
 world with complicated maladies upon them, that it would be 
 endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human 
 bodies, for they would not be fewer than five or six hundred, 
 spread over every limb and joint -in short, every part, external and 
 intestine, having diseases appropriated to itself. To remedy which, 
 there was a sort of people bred up among us in the profession, or 
 pretence, of curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the 
 faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honour, let him know the 
 whole mystery and method by which they proceed. 
 'Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion, 
 whence they conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is 
 necessary, either through the natural passage or upwards at the. 
 mouth. Their next business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, 
 shells, salts, juices, seaweed, excrements, barks of trees, serpents, 
 toads, frogs, spiders, dead men's flesh and bones, birds, beasts, 
 and fishes, to form a composition, for smell and taste, the most 
 abominable, nauseous, and detestable, they can possibly contrive, 
 which the stomach immediately rejects with loathing, and this 
 they call a vomit, or else, from the same store-house, with some 
 other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the 
 orifice above or below (just as the physician then happens to be 
 disposed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the 
 bowels, which, relaxing the belly, drives down all before it, and 
 this they call a purge, or a clyster. For nature (as the physicians 
 allege) having intended the superior anterior orifice only for the 
 intromission of solids and liquids, and the inferior posterior for 
 ejection, these artists ingeniously considering that in all diseases 
 nature is forced out of her seat, therefore, to replace her in it, the 
 body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by 
 interchanging the use of each orifice, forcing solids and liquids in 
 at the anus, and making evacuations at the mouth. 
 'But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only 
 imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary 
 cures, these have their several names, and so have the drugs that 
 are proper for them, and with these our female YAHOOS are 
 always infested. 
 'One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics, 
 wherein they seldom fail, their predictions in real diseases, when 
 they rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death,. 
 which is always in their power, when recovery is not: and 
 therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amendment, after they 
 have pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false 
 prophets, they know how to approve their sagacity to the world, 
 by a seasonable dose. 
 'They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are 
 grown weary of their mates, to eldest sons, to great ministers of 
 state, and often to princes.' 
 I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon 
 the nature of government in general, and particularly of our own 
 excellent constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the 
 whole world. But having here accidentally mentioned a minister 
 of state, he commanded me, some time after, to inform him, 'what 
 species of YAHOO I particularly meant by that appellation.' 
 I told him, 'that a first or chief minister of state, who was the 
 person I intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt 
 from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger, at least, makes 
 use of no other passions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and 
 titles, that he applies his words to all uses, except to the indication 
 of his mind, that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you 
 should take it for a lie, nor a lie, but with a design that you should 
 take it for a truth, that those he speaks worst of behind their backs 
 are in the surest way of preferment, and whenever he begins to 
 praise you to others, or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn.. 
 The worst mark you can receive is a promise, especially when it is 
 confirmed with an oath, after which, every wise man retires, and 
 gives over all hopes. 
 'There are three methods, by which a man may rise to be chief 
 minister. The first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose 
 of a wife, a daughter, or a sister, the second, by betraying or 
 undermining his predecessor, and the third is, by a furious zeal, in 
 public assemblies, against the corruption's of the court. But a wise 
 prince would rather choose to employ those who practise the last 
 of these methods, because such zealots prove always the most 
 obsequious and subservient to the will and passions of their 
 master. That these ministers, having all employments at their 
 disposal, preserve themselves in power, by bribing the majority of 
 a senate or great council, and at last, by an expedient, called an act 
 of indemnity' (whereof I described the nature to him), 'they 
 secure themselves from after-reckonings, and retire from the 
 public laden with the spoils of the nation. 
 'The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in 
 his own trade: the pages, lackeys, and porters, by imitating their 
 master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and 
 learn to excel in the three principal ingredients, of insolence, 
 lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern court paid 
 to them by persons of the best rank, and sometimes by the force of 
 dexterity and impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be 
 successors to their lord.. 
 'He is usually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite 
 footman, who are the tunnels through which all graces are 
 conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last resort, the 
 governors of the kingdom.' 
 One day, in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the 
 nobility of my country, was pleased to make me a compliment 
 which I could not pretend to deserve: 'that he was sure I must 
 have been born of some noble family, because I far exceeded in 
 shape, colour, and cleanliness, all the YAHOOS of his nation, 
 although I seemed to fail in strength and agility, which must be 
 imputed to my different way of living from those other brutes, and 
 besides I was not only endowed with the faculty of speech, but 
 likewise with some rudiments of reason, to a degree that, with all 
 his acquaintance, I passed for a prodigy.' 
 He made me observe, 'that among the HOUYHNHNMS, the 
 white, the sorrel, and the iron-gray, were not so exactly shaped as 
 the bay, the dapple-gray, and the black, nor born with equal talents 
 of mind, or a capacity to improve them, and therefore continued 
 always in the condition of servants, without ever aspiring to match 
 out of their own race, which in that country would be reckoned 
 monstrous and unnatural.' 
 I made his honour my most humble acknowledgments for the 
 good opinion he was pleased to conceive of me, but assured him 
 at the same time, 'that my birth was of the lower sort, having been 
 born of plain honest parents, who were just able to give me a 
 tolerable education, that nobility, among us, was altogether a. 
 different thing from the idea he had of it, that our young noblemen 
 are bred from their childhood in idleness and luxury, that, as soon 
 as years will permit, they consume their vigour, and contract 
 odious diseases among lewd females, and when their fortunes are 
 almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth, 
 disagreeable person, and unsound constitution (merely for the 
 sake of money), whom they hate and despise. That the 
 productions of such marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety, or 
 deformed children, by which means the family seldom continues 
 above three generations, unless the wife takes care to provide a 
 healthy father, among her neighbours or domestics, in order to 
 improve and continue the breed. That a weak diseased body, a 
 meagre countenance, and sallow complexion, are the true marks 
 of noble blood, and a healthy robust appearance is so disgraceful 
 in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to have 
 been a groom or a coachman. The imperfections of his mind run 
 parallel with those of his body, being a composition of spleen, 
 dullness, ignorance, caprice, sensuality, and pride. 
 'Without the consent of this illustrious body, no law can be 
 enacted, repealed, or altered: and these nobles have likewise the 
 decision of all our possessions, without appeal.' (6). 



CHAPTER VII.


 [The author's great love of his native country. His master's 
 observations upon the constitution and administration of England, 
 as described by the author, with parallel cases and comparisons. 
 His master's observations upon human nature.] 
 The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on 
 myself to give so free a representation of my own species, among 
 a race of mortals who are already too apt to conceive the vilest 
 opinion of humankind, from that entire congruity between me and 
 their YAHOOS. But I must freely confess, that the many virtues 
 of those excellent quadrupeds, placed in opposite view to human 
 corruptions, had so far opened my eyes and enlarged my 
 understanding, that I began to view the actions and passions of 
 man in a very different light, and to think the honour of my own 
 kind not worth managing, which, besides, it was impossible for 
 me to do, before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, 
 who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I 
 had not the least perception before, and which, with us, would 
 never be numbered even among human infirmities. I had likewise 
 learned, from his example, an utter detestation of all falsehood or 
 disguise, and truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined 
 upon sacrificing every thing to it.. 
 Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there 
 was yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my 
 representation of things. I had not yet been a year in this country 
 before I contracted such a love and veneration for the inhabitants, 
 that I entered on a firm resolution never to return to humankind, 
 but to pass the rest of my life among these admirable 
 HOUYHNHNMS, in the contemplation and practice of every 
 virtue, where I could have no example or incitement to vice. But it 
 was decreed by fortune, my perpetual enemy, that so great a 
 felicity should not fall to my share. However, it is now some 
 comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my countrymen, I 
 extenuated their faults as much as I durst before so strict an 
 examiner, and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as the 
 matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there alive that will not be 
 swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of his birth? 
 I have related the substance of several conversations I had with 
 my master during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to 
 be in his service, but have, indeed, for brevity sake, omitted much 
 more than is here set down. 
 When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed 
 to be fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and 
 commanded me to sit down at some distance (an honour which he 
 had never before conferred upon me). He said, 'he had been very 
 seriously considering my whole story, as far as it related both to 
 myself and my country, that he looked upon us as a sort of 
 animals, to whose share, by what accident he could not 
 conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we. 
 made no other use, than by its assistance, to aggravate our natural 
 corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given 
 us, that we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had 
 bestowed, had been very successful in multiplying our original 
 wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours to 
 supply them by our own inventions, that, as to myself, it was 
 manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common 
 YAHOO, that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet, had found out 
 a contrivance to make my claws of no use or defence, and to 
 remove the hair from my chin, which was intended as a shelter 
 from the sun and the weather: lastly, that I could neither run with 
 speed, nor climb trees like my brethren,' as he called them, 'the 
 YAHOOS in his country. 
 'That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing 
 to our gross defects in reason, and by consequence in virtue, 
 because reason alone is sufficient to govern a rational creature, 
 which was, therefore, a character we had no pretence to challenge, 
 even from the account I had given of my own people, although he 
 manifestly perceived, that, in order to favour them, I had 
 concealed many particulars, and often said the thing which was 
 not. 
 'He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because, he 
 observed, that as I agreed in every feature of my body with other 
 YAHOOS, except where it was to my real disadvantage in point of 
 strength, speed, and activity, the shortness of my claws, and some 
 other particulars where nature had no part, so from the 
 representation I had given him of our lives, our manners, and our. 
 actions, he found as near a resemblance in the disposition of our 
 minds.' He said, 'the YAHOOS were known to hate one another, 
 more than they did any different species of animals, and the 
 reason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own shapes, 
 which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had 
 therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies, 
 and by that invention conceal many of our deformities from each 
 other, which would else be hardly supportable. But he now found 
 he had been mistaken, and that the dissensions of those brutes in 
 his country were owing to the same cause with ours, as I had 
 described them. For if,' said he, 'you throw among five 
 YAHOOS as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will, 
 instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single 
 one impatient to have all to itself, and therefore a servant was 
 usually employed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and 
 those kept at home were tied at a distance from each other: that if 
 a cow died of age or accident, before a HOUYHNHNM could 
 secure it for his own YAHOOS, those in the neighbourhood would 
 come in herds to seize it, and then would ensue such a battle as I 
 had described, with terrible wounds made by their claws on both 
 sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for want 
 of such convenient instruments of death as we had invented. At 
 other times, the like battles have been fought between the 
 YAHOOS of several neighbourhoods, without any visible cause, 
 those of one district watching all opportunities to surprise the 
 next, before they are prepared. But if they find their project has 
 miscarried, they return home, and, for want of enemies, engage in 
 what I call a civil war among themselves.. 
 'That in some fields of his country there are certain shining stones 
 of several colours, whereof the YAHOOS are violently fond: and 
 when part of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes 
 happens, they will dig with their claws for whole days to get them 
 out, then carry them away, and hide them by heaps in their 
 kennels, but still looking round with great caution, for fear their 
 comrades should find out their treasure.' My master said, 'he 
 could never discover the reason of this unnatural appetite, or how 
 these stones could be of any use to a YAHOO, but now he 
 believed it might proceed from the same principle of avarice 
 which I had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of 
 experiment, privately removed a heap of these stones from the 
 place where one of his YAHOOS had buried it, whereupon the 
 sordid animal, missing his treasure, by his loud lamenting brought 
 the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell to 
 biting and tearing the rest, began to pine away, would neither eat, 
 nor sleep, nor work, till he ordered a servant privately to convey 
 the stones into the same hole, and hide them as before, which, 
 when his YAHOO had found, he presently recovered his spirits 
 and good humour, but took good care to remove them to a better 
 hiding place, and has ever since been a very serviceable brute.' 
 My master further assured me, which I also observed myself, 'that 
 in the fields where the shining stones abound, the fiercest and 
 most frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads 
 of the neighbouring YAHOOS.'. 
 He said, 'it was common, when two YAHOOS discovered such a 
 stone in a field, and were contending which of them should be the 
 proprietor, a third would take the advantage, and carry it away 
 from them both,' which my master would needs contend to have 
 some kind of resemblance with our suits at law, wherein I thought 
 it for our credit not to undeceive him, since the decision he 
 mentioned was much more equitable than many decrees among 
 us, because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside 
 the stone they contended for: whereas our courts of equity would 
 never have dismissed the cause, while either of them had any 
 thing left. 
 My master, continuing his discourse, said, 'there was nothing that 
 rendered the YAHOOS more odious, than their undistinguishing 
 appetite to devour every thing that came in their way, whether 
 herbs, roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled 
 together: and it was peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder 
 of what they could get by rapine or stealth, at a greater distance, 
 than much better food provided for them at home. If their prey 
 held out, they would eat till they were ready to burst, after which, 
 nature had pointed out to them a certain root that gave them a 
 general evacuation. 
 'There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat 
 rare and difficult to be found, which the YAHOOS sought for with 
 much eagerness, and would suck it with great delight, it produced 
 in them the same effects that wine has upon us. It would make. 
 them sometimes hug, and sometimes tear one another, they would 
 howl, and grin, and chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then fall 
 asleep in the mud.' 
 I did indeed observe that the YAHOOS were the only animals in 
 this country subject to any diseases, which, however, were much 
 fewer than horses have among us, and contracted, not by any ill-treatment 
 they meet with, but by the nastiness and greediness of 
 that sordid brute. Neither has their language any more than a 
 general appellation for those maladies, which is borrowed from 
 the name of the beast, and called HNEA-YAHOO, or YAHOO'S 
 EVIL, and the cure prescribed is a mixture of their own dung and 
 urine, forcibly put down the YAHOO'S throat. This I have since 
 often known to have been taken with success, and do here freely 
 recommend it to my countrymen for the public good, as an 
 admirable specific against all diseases produced by repletion. 
 'As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like,' my 
 master confessed, 'he could find little or no resemblance between 
 the YAHOOS of that country and those in ours, for he only meant 
 to observe what parity there was in our natures. He had heard, 
 indeed, some curious HOUYHNHNMS observe, that in most 
 herds there was a sort of ruling YAHOO (as among us there is 
 generally some leading or principal stag in a park), who was 
 always more deformed in body, and mischievous in disposition, 
 than any of the rest, that this leader had usually a favourite as like 
 himself as he could get, whose employment was to lick his 
 master's feet and posteriors, and drive the female YAHOOS to his 
 kennel, for which he was now and then rewarded with a piece of. 
 ass's flesh. This favourite is hated by the whole herd, and 
 therefore, to protect himself, keeps always near the person of his 
 leader. He usually continues in office till a worse can be found, 
 but the very moment he is discarded, his successor, at the head of 
 all the YAHOOS in that district, young and old, male and female, 
 come in a body, and discharge their excrements upon him from 
 head to foot. But how far this might be applicable to our courts, 
 and favourites, and ministers of state, my master said I could best 
 determine.' 
 I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which 
 debased human understanding below the sagacity of a common 
 hound, who has judgment enough to distinguish and follow the 
 cry of the ablest dog in the pack, without being ever mistaken. 
 My master told me, 'there were some qualities remarkable in the 
 YAHOOS, which he had not observed me to mention, or at least 
 very slightly, in the accounts I had given of humankind.' He said, 
 'those animals, like other brutes, had their females in common, 
 but in this they differed, that the she YAHOO would admit the 
 males while she was pregnant, and that the hes would quarrel and 
 fight with the females, as fiercely as with each other, both which 
 practices were such degrees of infamous brutality, as no other 
 sensitive creature ever arrived at. 
 'Another thing he wondered at in the YAHOOS, was their strange 
 disposition to nastiness and dirt, whereas there appears to be a 
 natural love of cleanliness in all other animals.' As to the two 
 former accusations, I was glad to let them pass without any reply,. 
 because I had not a word to offer upon them in defence of my 
 species, which otherwise I certainly had done from my own 
 inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated humankind from 
 the imputation of singularity upon the last article, if there had 
 been any swine in that country (as unluckily for me there were 
 not), which, although it may be a sweeter quadruped than a 
 YAHOO, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to more 
 cleanliness, and so his honour himself must have owned, if he had 
 seen their filthy way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing 
 and sleeping in the mud. 
 My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants 
 had discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly 
 unaccountable. He said, 'a fancy would sometimes take a 
 YAHOO to retire into a corner, to lie down, and howl, and groan, 
 and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young 
 and fat, wanted neither food nor water, nor did the servant 
 imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only remedy they 
 found was, to set him to hard work, after which he would 
 infallibly come to himself.' To this I was silent out of partiality to 
 my own kind, yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of 
 spleen, which only seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich, 
 who, if they were forced to undergo the same regimen, I would 
 undertake for the cure. 
 His honour had further observed, 'that a female YAHOO would 
 often stand behind a bank or a bush, to gaze on the young males 
 passing by, and then appear, and hide, using many antic gestures 
 and grimaces, at which time it was observed that she had a most. 
 offensive smell, and when any of the males advanced, would 
 slowly retire, looking often back, and with a counterfeit show of 
 fear, run off into some convenient place, where she knew the male 
 would follow her. 
 'At other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or 
 four of her own sex would get about her, and stare, and chatter, 
 and grin, and smell her all over, and then turn off with gestures, 
 that seemed to express contempt and disdain.' 
 Perhaps my master might refine a little in these speculations, 
 which he had drawn from what he observed himself, or had been 
 told him by others, however, I could not reflect without some 
 amazement, and much sorrow, that the rudiments of lewdness, 
 coquetry, censure, and scandal, should have place by instinct in 
 womankind. 
 I expected every moment that my master would accuse the 
 YAHOOS of those unnatural appetites in both sexes, so common 
 among us. But nature, it seems, has not been so expert a school-mistress, 
 and these politer pleasures are entirely the productions 
 of art and reason on our side of the globe.. 



CHAPTER VIII.


 [The author relates several particulars of the YAHOOS. The great 
 virtues of the HOUYHNHNMS. The education and exercise of 
 their youth. Their general assembly.] 
 As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I 
 supposed it possible for my master to do, so it was easy to apply 
 the character he gave of the YAHOOS to myself and my 
 countrymen, and I believed I could yet make further discoveries, 
 from my own observation. I therefore often begged his honour to 
 let me go among the herds of YAHOOS in the neighbourhood, to 
 which he always very graciously consented, being perfectly 
 convinced that the hatred I bore these brutes would never suffer 
 me to be corrupted by them, and his honour ordered one of his 
 servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and good-natured, to be 
 my guard, without whose protection I durst not undertake such 
 adventures. For I have already told the reader how much I was 
 pestered by these odious animals, upon my first arrival, and I 
 afterwards failed very narrowly, three or four times, of falling into 
 their clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without 
 my hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some 
 imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted 
 myself by stripping up my sleeves, and showing my naked arms 
 and breasts in their sight, when my protector was with me. At. 
 which times they would approach as near as they durst, and 
 imitate my actions after the manner of monkeys, but ever with 
 great signs of hatred, as a tame jackdaw with cap and stockings is 
 always persecuted by the wild ones, when he happens to be got 
 among them. 
 They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once 
 caught a young male of three years old, and endeavoured, by all 
 marks of tenderness, to make it quiet, but the little imp fell a 
 squalling, and scratching, and biting with such violence, that I was 
 forced to let it go, and it was high time, for a whole troop of old 
 ones came about us at the noise, but finding the cub was safe (for 
 away it ran), and my sorrel nag being by, they durst not venture 
 near us. I observed the young animal's flesh to smell very rank, 
 and the stink was somewhat between a weasel and a fox, but much 
 more disagreeable. I forgot another circumstance (and perhaps I 
 might have the reader's pardon if it were wholly omitted), that 
 while I held the odious vermin in my hands, it voided its filthy 
 excrements of a yellow liquid substance all over my clothes, but 
 by good fortune there was a small brook hard by, where I washed 
 myself as clean as I could, although I durst not come into my 
 master's presence until I were sufficiently aired. 
 By what I could discover, the YAHOOS appear to be the most 
 unteachable of all animals: their capacity never reaching higher 
 than to draw or carry burdens. Yet I am of opinion, this defect 
 arises chiefly from a perverse, restive disposition, for they are 
 cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They are strong 
 and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit, and, by consequence, insolent,. 
 abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the red haired of both sexes 
 are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they 
 much exceed in strength and activity. 
 The HOUYHNHNMS keep the YAHOOS for present use in huts 
 not far from the house, but the rest are sent abroad to certain 
 fields, where they dig up roots, eat several kinds of herbs, and 
 search about for carrion, or sometimes catch weasels and 
 LUHIMUHS (a sort of wild rat), which they greedily devour. 
 Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with their nails on the 
 side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves, only the 
 kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to hold two or three 
 cubs. 
 They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue 
 long under water, where they often take fish, which the females 
 carry home to their young. And, upon this occasion, I hope the 
 reader will pardon my relating an odd adventure. 
 Being one day abroad with my protector the sorrel nag, and the 
 weather exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a river 
 that was near. He consented, and I immediately stripped myself 
 stark naked, and went down softly into the stream. It happened 
 that a young female YAHOO, standing behind a bank, saw the 
 whole proceeding, and inflamed by desire, as the nag and I 
 conjectured, came running with all speed, and leaped into the 
 water, within five yards of the place where I bathed. I was never in 
 my life so terribly frightened. The nag was grazing at some 
 distance, not suspecting any harm. She embraced me after a most. 
 fulsome manner. I roared as loud as I could, and the nag came 
 galloping towards me, whereupon she quitted her grasp, with the 
 utmost reluctancy, and leaped upon the opposite bank, where she 
 stood gazing and howling all the time I was putting on my clothes. 
 This was a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as 
 well as of mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny 
 that I was a real YAHOO in every limb and feature, since the 
 females had a natural propensity to me, as one of their own 
 species. Neither was the hair of this brute of a red colour (which 
 might have been some excuse for an appetite a little irregular), but 
 black as a sloe, and her countenance did not make an appearance 
 altogether so hideous as the rest of her kind, for I think she could 
 not be above eleven years old. 
 Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, will 
 expect that I should, like other travellers, give him some account 
 of the manners and customs of its inhabitants, which it was indeed 
 my principal study to learn. 
 As these noble HOUYHNHNMS are endowed by nature with a 
 general disposition to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas 
 of what is evil in a rational creature, so their grand maxim is, to 
 cultivate reason, and to be wholly governed by it. Neither is 
 reason among them a point problematical, as with us, where men 
 can argue with plausibility on both sides of the question, but 
 strikes you with immediate conviction, as it must needs do, where 
 it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured, by passion and 
 interest. I remember it was with extreme difficulty that I could. 
 bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion, 
 or how a point could be disputable, because reason taught us to 
 affirm or deny only where we are certain, and beyond our 
 knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings, 
 disputes, and positiveness, in false or dubious propositions, are 
 evils unknown among the HOUYHNHNMS. In the like manner, 
 when I used to explain to him our several systems of natural 
 philosophy, he would laugh, 'that a creature pretending to reason, 
 should value itself upon the knowledge of other people's 
 conjectures, and in things where that knowledge, if it were certain, 
 could be of no use.' Wherein he agreed entirely with the 
 sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them, which I mention as 
 the highest honour I can do that prince of philosophers -I have 
 often since reflected, what destruction such doctrine would make 
 in the libraries of Europe, and how many paths of fame would be 
 then shut up in the learned world. 
 Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among 
 the HOUYHNHNMS, and these not confined to particular 
 objects, but universal to the whole race, for a stranger from the 
 remotest part is equally treated with the nearest neighbour, and 
 wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at home. They preserve 
 decency and civility in the highest degrees, but are altogether 
 ignorant of ceremony. They have no fondness for their colts or 
 foals, but the care they take in educating them proceeds entirely 
 from the dictates of reason. And I observed my master to show the 
 same affection to his neighbour's issue, that he had for his own.. 
 They will have it that nature teaches them to love the whole 
 species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of persons, 
 where there is a superior degree of virtue. 
 When the matron HOUYHNHNMS have produced one of each 
 sex, they no longer accompany with their consorts, except they 
 lose one of their issue by some casualty, which very seldom 
 happens, but in such a case they meet again, or when the like 
 accident befalls a person whose wife is past bearing, some other 
 couple bestow on him one of their own colts, and then go together 
 again until the mother is pregnant. This caution is necessary, to 
 prevent the country from being overburdened with numbers. But 
 the race of inferior HOUYHNHNMS, bred up to be servants, is 
 not so strictly limited upon this article: these are allowed to 
 produce three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble families. 
 In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colours 
 as will not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength 
 is chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female, not 
 upon the account of love, but to preserve the race from 
 degenerating, for where a female happens to excel in strength, a 
 consort is chosen, with regard to comeliness. 
 Courtship, love, presents, jointures, settlements have no place in 
 their thoughts, or terms whereby to express them in their 
 language. The young couple meet, and are joined, merely because 
 it is the determination of their parents and friends, it is what they 
 see done every day, and they look upon it as one of the necessary 
 actions of a reasonable being. But the violation of marriage, or. 
 any other unchastity, was never heard of, and the married pair 
 pass their lives with the same friendship and mutual benevolence, 
 that they bear to all others of the same species who come in their 
 way, without jealousy, fondness, quarrelling, or discontent. 
 In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable, 
 and highly deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a 
 grain of oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old, nor 
 milk, but very rarely, and in summer they graze two hours in the 
 morning, and as many in the evening, which their parents likewise 
 observe, but the servants are not allowed above half that time, and 
 a great part of their grass is brought home, which they eat at the 
 most convenient hours, when they can be best spared from work. 
 Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons 
 equally enjoined to the young ones of both sexes: and my master 
 thought it monstrous in us, to give the females a different kind of 
 education from the males, except in some articles of domestic 
 management, whereby, as he truly observed, one half of our 
 natives were good for nothing but bringing children into the 
 world, and to trust the care of our children to such useless 
 animals, he said, was yet a greater instance of brutality. 
 But the HOUYHNHNMS train up their youth to strength, speed, 
 and hardiness, by exercising them in running races up and down 
 steep hills, and over hard stony grounds, and when they are all in a 
 sweat, they are ordered to leap over head and ears into a pond or 
 river. Four times a year the youth of a certain district meet to show 
 their proficiency in running and leaping, and other feats of. 
 strength and agility, where the victor is rewarded with a song in 
 his or her praise. On this festival, the servants drive a herd of 
 YAHOOS into the field, laden with hay, and oats, and milk, for a 
 repast to the HOUYHNHNMS, after which, these brutes are 
 immediately driven back again, for fear of being noisome to the 
 assembly. 
 Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative 
 council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty 
 miles from our house, and continues about five or six days. Here 
 they inquire into the state and condition of the several districts, 
 whether they abound or be deficient in hay or oats, or cows, or 
 YAHOOS, and wherever there is any want (which is but seldom) 
 it is immediately supplied by unanimous consent and 
 contribution. Here likewise the regulation of children is settled: as 
 for instance, if a HOUYHNHNM has two males, he changes one 
 of them with another that has two females, and when a child has 
 been lost by any casualty, where the mother is past breeding, it is 
 determined what family in the district shall breed another to 
 supply the loss.. 



CHAPTER IX.


 [A grand debate at the general assembly of the HOUYHNHNMS, 
 and how it was determined. The learning of the 
 HOUYHNHNMS. Their buildings. Their manner of burials. The 
 defectiveness of their language.] 
 One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three 
 months before my departure, whither my master went as the 
 representative of our district. In this council was resumed their old 
 debate, and indeed the only debate that ever happened in their 
 country, whereof my master, after his return, give me a very 
 particular account. 
 The question to be debated was, 'whether the YAHOOS should be 
 exterminated from the face of the earth?' One of the members for 
 the affirmative offered several arguments of great strength and 
 weight, alleging, 'that as the YAHOOS were the most filthy, 
 noisome, and deformed animals which nature ever produced, so 
 they were the most restive and indocible, mischievous and 
 malicious, they would privately suck the teats of the 
 HOUYHNHNMS' cows, kill and devour their cats, trample down 
 their oats and grass, if they were not continually watched, and 
 commit a thousand other extravagancies.' He took notice of a 
 general tradition, 'that YAHOOS had not been always in their. 
 country, but that many ages ago, two of these brutes appeared 
 together upon a mountain, whether produced by the heat of the 
 sun upon corrupted mud and slime, or from the ooze and froth of 
 the sea, was never known, that these YAHOOS engendered, and 
 their brood, in a short time, grew so numerous as to overrun and 
 infest the whole nation, that the HOUYHNHNMS, to get rid of 
 this evil, made a general hunting, and at last enclosed the whole 
 herd, and destroying the elder, every HOUYHNHNM kept two 
 young ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a degree of 
 tameness, as an animal, so savage by nature, can be capable of 
 acquiring, using them for draught and carriage, that there seemed 
 to be much truth in this tradition, and that those creatures could 
 not be YINHNIAMSHY (or ABORIGINES of the land), because 
 of the violent hatred the HOUYHNHNMS, as well as all other 
 animals, bore them, which, although their evil disposition 
 sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at so high a degree 
 if they had been ABORIGINES, or else they would have long 
 since been rooted out, that the inhabitants, taking a fancy to use 
 the service of the YAHOOS, had, very imprudently, neglected to 
 cultivate the breed of asses, which are a comely animal, easily 
 kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensive smell, strong 
 enough for labour, although they yield to the other in agility of 
 body, and if their braying be no agreeable sound, it is far 
 preferable to the horrible howlings of the YAHOOS.' 
 Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, 
 when my master proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof 
 he had indeed borrowed the hint from me. 'He approved of the 
 tradition mentioned by the honourable member who spoke before,. 
 and affirmed, that the two YAHOOS said to be seen first among 
 them, had been driven thither over the sea, that coming to land, 
 and being forsaken by their companions, they retired to the 
 mountains, and degenerating by degrees, became in process of 
 time much more savage than those of their own species in the 
 country whence these two originals came. The reason of this 
 assertion was, that he had now in his possession a certain 
 wonderful YAHOO (meaning myself) which most of them had 
 heard of, and many of them had seen. He then related to them how 
 he first found me, that my body was all covered with an artificial 
 composure of the skins and hairs of other animals, that I spoke in 
 a language of my own, and had thoroughly learned theirs, that I 
 had related to him the accidents which brought me thither, that 
 when he saw me without my covering, I was an exact YAHOO in 
 every part, only of a whiter colour, less hairy, and with shorter 
 claws. He added, how I had endeavoured to persuade him, that in 
 my own and other countries, the YAHOOS acted as the 
 governing, rational animal, and held the HOUYHNHNMS in 
 servitude, that he observed in me all the qualities of a YAHOO, 
 only a little more civilized by some tincture of reason, which, 
 however, was in a degree as far inferior to the HOUYHNHNM 
 race, as the YAHOOS of their country were to me, that, among 
 other things, I mentioned a custom we had of castrating 
 HOUYHNHNMS when they were young, in order to render them 
 tame, that the operation was easy and safe, that it was no shame to 
 learn wisdom from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant, and 
 building by the swallow (for so I translate the word LYHANNH, 
 although it be a much larger fowl), that this invention might be 
 practised upon the younger YAHOOS here, which besides. 
 rendering them tractable and fitter for use, would in an age put an 
 end to the whole species, without destroying life, that in the mean 
 time the HOUYHNHNMS should be exhorted to cultivate the 
 breed of asses, which, as they are in all respects more valuable 
 brutes, so they have this advantage, to be fit for service at five 
 years old, which the others are not till twelve.' 
 This was all my master thought fit to tell me, at that time, of what 
 passed in the grand council. But he was pleased to conceal one 
 particular, which related personally to myself, whereof I soon felt 
 the unhappy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and 
 whence I date all the succeeding misfortunes of my life. 
 The HOUYHNHNMS have no letters, and consequently their 
 knowledge is all traditional. But there happening few events of 
 any moment among a people so well united, naturally disposed to 
 every virtue, wholly governed by reason, and cut off from all 
 commerce with other nations, the historical part is easily 
 preserved without burdening their memories. I have already 
 observed that they are subject to no diseases, and therefore can 
 have no need of physicians. However, they have excellent 
 medicines, composed of herbs, to cure accidental bruises and cuts 
 in the pastern or frog of the foot, by sharp stones, as well as other 
 maims and hurts in the several parts of the body.. 
 They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and moon, but 
 use no subdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted 
 with the motions of those two luminaries, and understand the 
 nature of eclipses, and this is the utmost progress of their 
 astronomy. 
 In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals, wherein 
 the justness of their similes, and the minuteness as well as 
 exactness of their descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their verses 
 abound very much in both of these, and usually contain either 
 some exalted notions of friendship and benevolence or the praises 
 of those who were victors in races and other bodily exercises. 
 Their buildings, although very rude and simple, are not 
 inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all injuries 
 of and heat. They have a kind of tree, which at forty years old 
 loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm: it grows very 
 straight, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp stone (for the 
 HOUYHNHNMS know not the use of iron), they stick them erect 
 in the ground, about ten inches asunder, and then weave in oat 
 straw, or sometimes wattles, between them. The roof is made after 
 the same manner, and so are the doors. 
 The HOUYHNHNMS use the hollow part, between the pastern 
 and the hoof of their fore-foot, as we do our hands, and this with 
 greater dexterity than I could at first imagine. I have seen a white 
 mare of our family thread a needle (which I lent her on purpose) 
 with that joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all the 
 work which requires hands, in the same manner. They have a 
 kind of hard flints, which, by grinding against other stones, they. 
 form into instruments, that serve instead of wedges, axes, and 
 hammers. With tools made of these flints, they likewise cut their 
 hay, and reap their oats, which there grow naturally in several 
 fields, the YAHOOS draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the 
 servants tread them in certain covered huts to get out the grain, 
 which is kept in stores. They make a rude kind of earthen and 
 wooden vessels, and bake the former in the sun. 
 If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are 
 buried in the obscurest places that can be found, their friends and 
 relations expressing neither joy nor grief at their departure, nor 
 does the dying person discover the least regret that he is leaving 
 the world, any more than if he were upon returning home from a 
 visit to one of his neighbours. I remember my master having once 
 made an appointment with a friend and his family to come to his 
 house, upon some affair of importance: on the day fixed, the 
 mistress and her two children came very late, she made two 
 excuses, first for her husband, who, as she said, happened that 
 very morning to SHNUWNH. The word is strongly expressive in 
 their language, but not easily rendered into English, it signifies, 
 'to retire to his first mother.' Her excuse for not coming sooner, 
 was, that her husband dying late in the morning, she was a good 
 while consulting her servants about a convenient place where his 
 body should be laid, and I observed, she behaved herself at our 
 house as cheerfully as the rest. She died about three months after. 
 They live generally to seventy, or seventy-five years, very seldom 
 to fourscore. Some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual 
 decay, but without pain. During this time they are much visited by. 
 their friends, because they cannot go abroad with their usual ease 
 and satisfaction. However, about ten days before their death, 
 which they seldom fail in computing, they return the visits that 
 have been made them by those who are nearest in the 
 neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient sledge drawn by 
 YAHOOS, which vehicle they use, not only upon this occasion, 
 but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when they are 
 lamed by any accident: and therefore when the dying 
 HOUYHNHNMS return those visits, they take a solemn leave of 
 their friends, as if they were going to some remote part of the 
 country, where they designed to pass the rest of their lives. 
 I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the 
 HOUYHNHNMS have no word in their language to express any 
 thing that is evil, except what they borrow from the deformities or 
 ill qualities of the YAHOOS. Thus they denote the folly of a 
 servant, an omission of a child, a stone that cuts their feet, a 
 continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and the like, by 
 adding to each the epithet of YAHOO. For instance, HHNM 
 YAHOO, WHNAHOLM YAHOO, YNLHMNDWIHLMA 
 YAHOO, and an ill-contrived house YNHOLMHNMROHLNW 
 YAHOO. 

 I could, with great pleasure, enlarge further upon the manners and 
 virtues of this excellent people, but intending in a short time to 
 publish a volume by itself, expressly upon that subject, I refer the 
 reader thither, and, in the mean time, proceed to relate my own 
 sad catastrophe... 



CHAPTER X.


 [The author's economy, and happy life, among the Houyhnhnms. 
 His great improvement in virtue by conversing with them. Their 
 conversations. The author has notice given him by his master, that 
 he must depart from the country. He falls into a swoon for grief, 
 but submits. He contrives and finishes a canoe by the help of a 
 fellow-servant, and puts to sea at a venture.] 
 I had settled my little economy to my own heart's content. My 
 master had ordered a room to be made for me, after their manner, 
 about six yards from the house: the sides and floors of which I 
 plastered with clay, and covered with rush-mats of my own 
 contriving. I had beaten hemp, which there grows wild, and made 
 of it a sort of ticking, this I filled with the feathers of several birds 
 I had taken with springes made of YAHOOS' hairs, and were 
 excellent food. I had worked two chairs with my knife, the sorrel 
 nag helping me in the grosser and more laborious part. 
 When my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with 
 the skins of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal, about the 
 same size, called NNUHNOH, the skin of which is covered with a 
 fine down. Of these I also made very tolerable stockings. I soled 
 my shoes with wood, which I cut from a tree, and fitted to the 
 upper-leather, and when this was worn out, I supplied it with the. 
 skins of YAHOOS dried in the sun. I often got honey out of 
 hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with my bread. 
 No man could more verify the truth of these two maxims, 'That 
 nature is very easily satisfied,' and, 'That necessity is the mother 
 of invention.' I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquillity of 
 mind, I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor 
 the injuries of a secret or open enemy. I had no occasion of 
 bribing, flattering, or pimping, to procure the favour of any great 
 man, or of his minion, I wanted no fence against fraud or 
 oppression: here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor 
 lawyer to ruin my fortune, no informer to watch my words and 
 actions, or forge accusations against me for hire: here were no 
 gibers, censurers, backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen, 
 housebreakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians, 
 wits, splenetics, tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers, 
 murderers, robbers, virtuosos, no leaders, or followers, of party 
 and faction, no encouragers to vice, by seducement or examples, 
 no dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories, no 
 cheating shopkeepers or mechanics, no pride, vanity, or 
 affectation, no fops, bullies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes, 
 no ranting, lewd, expensive wives, no stupid, proud pedants, no 
 importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, 
 conceited, swearing companions, no scoundrels raised from the 
 dust upon the merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on 
 account of their virtues, no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing-masters.. 
 I had the favour of being admitted to several HOUYHNHNMS, 
 who came to visit or dine with my master, where his honour 
 graciously suffered me to wait in the room, and listen to their 
 discourse. Both he and his company would often descend to ask 
 me questions, and receive my answers. I had also sometimes the 
 honour of attending my master in his visits to others. I never 
 presumed to speak, except in answer to a question, and then I did 
 it with inward regret, because it was a loss of so much time for 
 improving myself, but I was infinitely delighted with the station 
 of an humble auditor in such conversations, where nothing passed 
 but what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most significant 
 words, where, as I have already said, the greatest decency was 
 observed, without the least degree of ceremony, where no person 
 spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his 
 companions, where there was no interruption, tediousness, heat, 
 or difference of sentiments. They have a notion, that when people 
 are met together, a short silence does much improve conversation: 
 this I found to be true, for during those little intermissions of talk, 
 new ideas would arise in their minds, which very much enlivened 
 the discourse. Their subjects are, generally on friendship and 
 benevolence, on order and economy, sometimes upon the visible 
 operations of nature, or ancient traditions, upon the bounds and 
 limits of virtue, upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon some 
 determinations to be taken at the next great assembly: and often 
 upon the various excellences of poetry. I may add, without vanity, 
 that my presence often gave them sufficient matter for discourse, 
 because it afforded my master an occasion of letting his friends 
 into the history of me and my country, upon which they were all 
 pleased to descant, in a manner not very advantageous to. 
 humankind: and for that reason I shall not repeat what they said, 
 only I may be allowed to observe, that his honour, to my great 
 admiration, appeared to understand the nature of YAHOOS much 
 better than myself. He went through all our vices and follies, and 
 discovered many, which I had never mentioned to him, by only 
 supposing what qualities a YAHOO of their country, with a small 
 proportion of reason, might be capable of exerting, and 
 concluded, with too much probability, 'how vile, as well as 
 miserable, such a creature must be.' 
 I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value, 
 was acquired by the lectures I received from my master, and from 
 hearing the discourses of him and his friends, to which I should be 
 prouder to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and wisest 
 assembly in Europe. I admired the strength, comeliness, and speed 
 of the inhabitants, and such a constellation of virtues, in such 
 amiable persons, produced in me the highest veneration. At first, 
 indeed, I did not feel that natural awe, which the YAHOOS and all 
 other animals bear toward them, but it grew upon me by decrees, 
 much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with a respectful 
 love and gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish me 
 from the rest of my species. 
 When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the 
 human race in general, I considered them, as they really were, 
 YAHOOS in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, 
 and qualified with the gift of speech, but making no other use of 
 reason, than to improve and multiply those vices whereof their 
 brethren in this country had only the share that nature allotted. 
 them. When I happened to behold the reflection of my own form 
 in a lake or fountain, I turned away my face in horror and 
 detestation of myself, and could better endure the sight of a 
 common YAHOO than of my own person. By conversing with the 
 HOUYHNHNMS, and looking upon them with delight, I fell to 
 imitate their gait and gesture, which is now grown into a habit, 
 and my friends often tell me, in a blunt way, 'that I trot like a 
 horse,' which, however, I take for a great compliment. Neither 
 shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the voice and 
 manner of the HOUYHNHNMS, and hear myself ridiculed on 
 that account, without the least mortification. 
 In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself 
 to be fully settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a 
 little earlier than his usual hour. I observed by his countenance 
 that he was in some perplexity, and at a loss how to begin what he 
 had to speak. After a short silence, he told me, 'he did not know 
 how I would take what he was going to say: that in the last general 
 assembly, when the affair of the YAHOOS was entered upon, the 
 representatives had taken offence at his keeping a YAHOO 
 (meaning myself) in his family, more like a HOUYHNHNM than 
 a brute animal, that he was known frequently to converse with me, 
 as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in my company, 
 that such a practice was not agreeable to reason or nature, or a 
 thing ever heard of before among them, the assembly did 
 therefore exhort him either to employ me like the rest of my 
 species, or command me to swim back to the place whence I 
 came: that the first of these expedients was utterly rejected by all 
 the HOUYHNHNMS who had ever seen me at his house or their. 
 own, for they alleged, that because I had some rudiments of 
 reason, added to the natural pravity of those animals, it was to be 
 feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and 
 mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops by 
 night to destroy the HOUYHNHNMS' cattle, as being naturally of 
 the ravenous kind, and averse from labour.' 
 My master added, 'that he was daily pressed by the 
 HOUYHNHNMS of the neighbourhood to have the assembly's 
 exhortation executed, which he could not put off much longer. He 
 doubted it would be impossible for me to swim to another 
 country, and therefore wished I would contrive some sort of 
 vehicle, resembling those I had described to him, that might carry 
 me on the sea, in which work I should have the assistance of his 
 own servants, as well as those of his neighbours.' He concluded, 
 'that for his own part, he could have been content to keep me in 
 his service as long as I lived, because he found I had cured myself 
 of some bad habits and dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as 
 my inferior nature was capable, to imitate the HOUYHNHNMS.' 
 I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general 
 assembly in this country is expressed by the word HNHLOAYN, 
 which signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it, for they 
 have no conception how a rational creature can be compelled, but 
 only advised, or exhorted, because no person can disobey reason, 
 without giving up his claim to be a rational creature.. 
 I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master's 
 discourse, and being unable to support the agonies I was under, I 
 fell into a swoon at his feet. When I came to myself, he told me 
 'that he concluded I had been dead,' for these people are subject 
 to no such imbecilities of nature. I answered in a faint voice, 'that 
 death would have been too great a happiness, that although I 
 could not blame the assembly's exhortation, or the urgency of his 
 friends, yet, in my weak and corrupt judgment, I thought it might 
 consist with reason to have been less rigorous, that I could not 
 swim a league, and probably the nearest land to theirs might be 
 distant above a hundred: that many materials, necessary for 
 making a small vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this 
 country, which, however, I would attempt, in obedience and 
 gratitude to his honour, although I concluded the thing to be 
 impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already devoted to 
 destruction, that the certain prospect of an unnatural death was the 
 least of my evils, for, supposing I should escape with life by some 
 strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my 
 days among YAHOOS, and relapsing into my old corruptions, for 
 want of examples to lead and keep me within the paths of virtue? 
 that I knew too well upon what solid reasons all the 
 determinations of the wise HOUYHNHNMS were founded, not to 
 be shaken by arguments of mine, a miserable YAHOO, and 
 therefore, after presenting him with my humble thanks for the 
 offer of his servants' assistance in making a vessel, and desiring a 
 reasonable time for so difficult a work, I told him I would 
 endeavour to preserve a wretched being, and if ever I returned to 
 England, was not without hopes of being useful to my own. 
 species, by celebrating the praises of the renowned 
 HOUYHNHNMS, and proposing their virtues to the imitation of 
 mankind.' 
 My master, in a few words, made me a very gracious reply, 
 allowed me the space of two months to finish my boat, and 
 ordered the sorrel nag, my fellow-servant (for so, at this distance, 
 I may presume to call him), to follow my instruction, because I 
 told my master, 'that his help would be sufficient, and I knew he 
 had a tenderness for me.' 
 In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the 
 coast where my rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore. 
 I got upon a height, and looking on every side into the sea, fancied 
 I saw a small island toward the north-east. I took out my pocket 
 glass, and could then clearly distinguish it above five leagues off, 
 as I computed, but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue 
 cloud: for as he had no conception of any country beside his own, 
 so he could not be as expert in distinguishing remote objects at 
 sea, as we who so much converse in that element. 
 After I had discovered this island, I considered no further, but 
 resolved it should if possible, be the first place of my banishment, 
 leaving the consequence to fortune. 
 I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into 
 a copse at some distance, where I with my knife, and he with a 
 sharp flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a 
 wooden handle, cut down several oak wattles, about the thickness. 
 of a walking-staff, and some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble 
 the reader with a particular description of my own mechanics, let 
 it suffice to say, that in six weeks time with the help of the sorrel 
 nag, who performed the parts that required most labour, I finished 
 a sort of Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins 
 of YAHOOS, well stitched together with hempen threads of my 
 own making. My sail was likewise composed of the skins of the 
 same animal, but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older 
 being too tough and thick, and I likewise provided myself with 
 four paddles. I laid in a stock of boiled flesh, of rabbits and fowls, 
 and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the other 
 with water. 
 I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master's house, and then 
 corrected in it what was amiss, stopping all the chinks with 
 YAHOOS' tallow, till I found it staunch, and able to bear me and 
 my freight, and, when it was as complete as I could possibly make 
 it, I had it drawn on a carriage very gently by YAHOOS to the sea-side, 
 under the conduct of the sorrel nag and another servant. 
 When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took 
 leave of my master and lady and the whole family, my eyes 
 flowing with tears, and my heart quite sunk with grief. But his 
 honour, out of curiosity, and, perhaps, (if I may speak without 
 vanity,) partly out of kindness, was determined to see me in my 
 canoe, and got several of his neighbouring friends to accompany 
 him. I was forced to wait above an hour for the tide, and then 
 observing the wind very fortunately bearing toward the island to 
 which I intended to steer my course, I took a second leave of my. 
 master: but as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, he 
 did me the honour to raise it gently to my mouth. I am not 
 ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last 
 particular. Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so 
 illustrious a person should descend to give so great a mark of 
 distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgotten 
 how apt some travellers are to boast of extraordinary favours they 
 have received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted with 
 the noble and courteous disposition of the HOUYHNHNMS, they 
 would soon change their opinion. 
 I paid my respects to the rest of the HOUYHNHNMS in his 
 honour's company, then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from 
 shore.. 



CHAPTER XI.


 [The author's dangerous voyage. He arrives at New Holland, 
 hoping to settle there. Is wounded with an arrow by one of the 
 natives. Is seized and carried by force into a Portuguese ship. The 
 great civilities of the captain. The author arrives at England.] 
 I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714-15, at nine 
 o'clock in the morning. The wind was very favourable, however, I 
 made use at first only of my paddles, but considering I should 
 soon be weary, and that the wind might chop about, I ventured to 
 set up my little sail, and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at 
 the rate of a league and a half an hour, as near as I could guess. 
 My master and his friends continued on the shore till I was almost 
 out of sight, and I often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved 
 me) crying out, 'HNUY ILLA NYHA, MAJAH YAHOO,' 'Take 
 care of thyself, gentle YAHOO.' 
 My design was, if possible, to discover some small island 
 uninhabited, yet sufficient, by my labour, to furnish me with the 
 necessaries of life, which I would have thought a greater 
 happiness, than to be first minister in the politest court of Europe, 
 so horrible was the idea I conceived of returning to live in the 
 society, and under the government of YAHOOS. For in such a 
 solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own thoughts, and. 
 reflect with delight on the virtues of those inimitable 
 HOUYHNHNMS, without an opportunity of degenerating into 
 the vices and corruptions of my own species. 
 The reader may remember what I related, when my crew 
 conspired against me, and confined me to my cabin, how I 
 continued there several weeks without knowing what course we 
 took, and when I was put ashore in the long-boat, how the sailors 
 told me, with oaths, whether true or false, 'that they knew not in 
 what part of the world we were.' However, I did then believe us to 
 be about 10 degrees southward of the Cape of Good Hope, or 
 about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I gathered from some 
 general words I overheard among them, being I supposed to the 
 south-east in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although 
 this were little better than conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my 
 course eastward, hoping to reach the south-west coast of New 
 Holland, and perhaps some such island as I desired lying 
 westward of it. The wind was full west, and by six in the evening 
 I computed I had gone eastward at least eighteen leagues, when I 
 spied a very small island about half a league off, which I soon 
 reached. It was nothing but a rock, with one creek naturally 
 arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my canoe, and 
 climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the 
 east, extending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe, 
 and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven 
 hours to the south-east point of New Holland. This confirmed me 
 in the opinion I have long entertained, that the maps and charts 
 place this country at least three degrees more to the east than it. 
 really is, which thought I communicated many years ago to my 
 worthy friend, Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my reasons for it, 
 although he has rather chosen to follow other authors. 
 I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being 
 unarmed, I was afraid of venturing far into the country. I found 
 some shellfish on the shore, and ate them raw, not daring to kindle 
 a fire, for fear of being discovered by the natives. I continued 
 three days feeding on oysters and limpets, to save my own 
 provisions, and I fortunately found a brook of excellent water, 
 which gave me great relief. 
 On the fourth day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty 
 or thirty natives upon a height not above five hundred yards from 
 me. They were stark naked, men, women, and children, round a 
 fire, as I could discover by the smoke. One of them spied me, and 
 gave notice to the rest, five of them advanced toward me, leaving 
 the women and children at the fire. I made what haste I could to 
 the shore, and, getting into my canoe, shoved off: the savages, 
 observing me retreat, ran after me: and before I could get far 
 enough into the sea, discharged an arrow which wounded me 
 deeply on the inside of my left knee: I shall carry the mark to my 
 grave. I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and paddling 
 out of the reach of their darts (being a calm day), I made a shift to 
 suck the wound, and dress it as well as I could. 
 I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same 
 landing-place, but stood to the north, and was forced to paddle, for 
 the wind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing north-. 
 west. As I was looking about for a secure landing-place, I saw a 
 sail to the north-north-east, which appearing every minute more 
 visible, I was in some doubt whether I should wait for them or not, 
 but at last my detestation of the YAHOO race prevailed: and 
 turning my canoe, I sailed and paddled together to the south, and 
 got into the same creek whence I set out in the morning, choosing 
 rather to trust myself among these barbarians, than live with 
 European YAHOOS. I drew up my canoe as close as I could to the 
 shore, and hid myself behind a stone by the little brook, which, as 
 I have already said, was excellent water. 
 The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her long 
 boat with vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems, 
 was very well known), but I did not observe it, till the boat was 
 almost on shore, and it was too late to seek another hiding-place. 
 The seamen at their landing observed my canoe, and rummaging 
 it all over, easily conjectured that the owner could not be far off. 
 Four of them, well armed, searched every cranny and lurking-hole, 
 till at last they found me flat on my face behind the stone. 
 They gazed awhile in admiration at my strange uncouth dress, my 
 coat made of skins, my wooden-soled shoes, and my furred 
 stockings, whence, however, they concluded, I was not a native of 
 the place, who all go naked. One of the seamen, in Portuguese, bid 
 me rise, and asked who I was. I understood that language very 
 well, and getting upon my feet, said, 'I was a poor YAHOO 
 banished from the HOUYHNHNMS, and desired they would 
 please to let me depart.' They admired to hear me answer them in 
 their own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be a 
 European, but were at a loss to know what I meant by YAHOOS. 
 and HOUYHNHNMS, and at the same time fell a-laughing at my 
 strange tone in speaking, which resembled the neighing of a 
 horse. I trembled all the while betwixt fear and hatred. I again 
 desired leave to depart, and was gently moving to my canoe, but 
 they laid hold of me, desiring to know, 'what country I was of? 
 whence I came?' with many other questions. I told them 'I was 
 born in England, whence I came about five years ago, and then 
 their country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they would 
 not treat me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm, but was a 
 poor YAHOO seeking some desolate place where to pass the 
 remainder of his unfortunate life.' 
 When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing 
 more unnatural, for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a 
 cow should speak in England, or a YAHOO in 
 HOUYHNHNMLAND. The honest Portuguese were equally 
 amazed at my strange dress, and the odd manner of delivering my 
 words, which, however, they understood very well. They spoke to 
 me with great humanity, and said, 'they were sure the captain 
 would carry me GRATIS to Lisbon, whence I might return to my 
 own country, that two of the seamen would go back to the ship, 
 inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders, 
 in the mean time, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly, 
 they would secure me by force. I thought it best to comply with 
 their proposal. They were very curious to know my story, but I 
 gave them very little satisfaction, and they all conjectured that my 
 misfortunes had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat, which 
 went laden with vessels of water, returned, with the captain's 
 command to fetch me on board. I fell on my knees to preserve my. 
 liberty, but all was in vain, and the men, having tied me with 
 cords, heaved me into the boat, whence I was taken into the ship, 
 and thence into the captain's cabin. 
 His name was Pedro de Mendez, he was a very courteous and 
 generous person. He entreated me to give some account of myself, 
 and desired to know what I would eat or drink, said, 'I should be 
 used as well as himself,' and spoke so many obliging things, that I 
 wondered to find such civilities from a YAHOO. However, I 
 remained silent and sullen, I was ready to faint at the very smell of 
 him and his men. At last I desired something to eat out of my own 
 canoe, but he ordered me a chicken, and some excellent wine, and 
 then directed that I should be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I 
 would not undress myself, but lay on the bed-clothes, and in half 
 an hour stole out, when I thought the crew was at dinner, and 
 getting to the side of the ship, was going to leap into the sea, and 
 swim for my life, rather than continue among YAHOOS. But one 
 of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the captain, I 
 was chained to my cabin. 
 After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my 
 reason for so desperate an attempt, assured me, 'he only meant to 
 do me all the service he was able,' and spoke so very movingly, 
 that at last I descended to treat him like an animal which had some 
 little portion of reason. I gave him a very short relation of my 
 voyage, of the conspiracy against me by my own men, of the 
 country where they set me on shore, and of my five years 
 residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a dream or 
 a vision, whereat I took great offence, for I had quite forgot the. 
 faculty of lying, so peculiar to YAHOOS, in all countries where 
 they preside, and, consequently, their disposition of suspecting 
 truth in others of their own species. I asked him, 'whether it were 
 the custom in his country to say the thing which was not?' I 
 assured him, 'I had almost forgot what he meant by falsehood, 
 and if I had lived a thousand years in HOUYHNHNMLAND, I 
 should never have heard a lie from the meanest servant, that I was 
 altogether indifferent whether he believed me or not, but, 
 however, in return for his favours, I would give so much 
 allowance to the corruption of his nature, as to answer any 
 objection he would please to make, and then he might easily 
 discover the truth.' 
 The captain, a wise man, after many endeavours to catch me 
 tripping in some part of my story, at last began to have a better 
 opinion of my veracity. But he added, 'that since I professed so 
 inviolable an attachment to truth, I must give him my word and 
 honour to bear him company in this voyage, without attempting 
 any thing against my life, or else he would continue me a prisoner 
 till we arrived at Lisbon.' I gave him the promise he required, but 
 at the same time protested, 'that I would suffer the greatest 
 hardships, rather than return to live among YAHOOS.' 
 Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In 
 gratitude to the captain, I sometimes sat with him, at his earnest 
 request, and strove to conceal my antipathy against human kind, 
 although it often broke out, which he suffered to pass without 
 observation. But the greatest part of the day I confined myself to 
 my cabin, to avoid seeing any of the crew. The captain had often. 
 entreated me to strip myself of my savage dress, and offered to 
 lend me the best suit of clothes he had. This I would not be 
 prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with any thing 
 that had been on the back of a YAHOO. I only desired he would 
 lend me two clean shirts, which, having been washed since he 
 wore them, I believed would not so much defile me. These I 
 changed every second day, and washed them myself. 
 We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing, the captain 
 forced me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble 
 from crowding about me. I was conveyed to his own house, and at 
 my earnest request he led me up to the highest room backwards. I 
 conjured him 'to conceal from all persons what I had told him of 
 the HOUYHNHNMS, because the least hint of such a story would 
 not only draw numbers of people to see me, but probably put me 
 in danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition.' The 
 captain persuaded me to accept a suit of clothes newly made, but I 
 would not suffer the tailor to take my measure, however, Don 
 Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well enough. He 
 accoutred me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for 
 twenty-four hours before I would use them. 
 The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which 
 were suffered to attend at meals, and his whole deportment was so 
 obliging, added to very good human understanding, that I really 
 began to tolerate his company. He gained so far upon me, that I 
 ventured to look out of the back window. By degrees I was 
 brought into another room, whence I peeped into the street, but 
 drew my head back in a fright. In a week's time he seduced me. 
 down to the door. I found my terror gradually lessened, but my 
 hatred and contempt seemed to increase. I was at last bold enough 
 to walk the street in his company, but kept my nose well stopped 
 with rue, or sometimes with tobacco. 
 In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my 
 domestic affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honour and 
 conscience, 'that I ought to return to my native country, and live 
 at home with my wife and children.' He told me, 'there was an 
 English ship in the port just ready to sail, and he would furnish me 
 with all things necessary.' It would be tedious to repeat his 
 arguments, and my contradictions. He said, 'it was altogether 
 impossible to find such a solitary island as I desired to live in, but 
 I might command in my own house, and pass my time in a manner 
 as recluse as I pleased.' 
 I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the 
 24th day of November, in an English merchantman, but who was 
 the master I never inquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the 
 ship, and lent me twenty pounds. He took kind leave of me, and 
 embraced me at parting, which I bore as well as I could. During 
 this last voyage I had no commerce with the master or any of his 
 men, but, pretending I was sick, kept close in my cabin. On the 
 fifth of December, 1715, we cast anchor in the Downs, about nine 
 in the morning, and at three in the afternoon I got safe to my house 
 at Rotherhith. (7). 
 My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, 
 because they concluded me certainly dead, but I must freely 
 confess the sight of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and 
 contempt, and the more, by reflecting on the near alliance I had to 
 them. For although, since my unfortunate exile from the 
 HOUYHNHNM country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the 
 sight of YAHOOS, and to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez, 
 yet my memory and imagination were perpetually filled with the 
 virtues and ideas of those exalted HOUYHNHNMS. And when I 
 began to consider that, by copulating with one of the YAHOO 
 species I had become a parent of more, it struck me with the 
 utmost shame, confusion, and horror. 
 As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms, and 
 kissed me, at which, having not been used to the touch of that 
 odious animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an 
 hour. At the time I am writing, it is five years since my last return 
 to England. During the first year, I could not endure my wife or 
 children in my presence, the very smell of them was intolerable, 
 much less could I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this 
 hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the 
 same cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take me by the 
 hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two young stone-horses, 
 which I keep in a good stable, and next to them, the groom 
 is my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by the smell 
 he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably 
 well, I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are 
 strangers to bridle or saddle, they live in great amity with me and 
 friendship to each other... 



CHAPTER XII.


 [The author's veracity. His design in publishing this work. His 
 censure of those travellers who swerve from the truth. The author 
 clears himself from any sinister ends in writing. An objection 
 answered. The method of planting colonies. His native country 
 commended. The right of the crown to those countries described 
 by the author is justified. The difficulty of conquering them. The 
 author takes his last leave of the reader, proposes his manner of 
 living for the future, gives good advice, and concludes.] 
 Thus, gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my 
 travels for sixteen years and above seven months: wherein I have 
 not been so studious of ornament as of truth. I could, perhaps, like 
 others, have astonished thee with strange improbable tales, but I 
 rather chose to relate plain matter of fact, in the simplest manner 
 and style, because my principal design was to inform, and not to 
 amuse thee. 
 It is easy for us who travel into remote countries, which are 
 seldom visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form 
 descriptions of wonderful animals both at sea and land. Whereas a 
 traveller's chief aim should be to make men wiser and better, and 
 to improve their minds by the bad, as well as good, example of 
 what they deliver concerning foreign places.. 
 I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveller, 
 before he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be 
 obliged to make oath before the Lord High Chancellor, that all he 
 intended to print was absolutely true to the best of his knowledge, 
 for then the world would no longer be deceived, as it usually is, 
 while some writers, to make their works pass the better upon the 
 public, impose the grossest falsities on the unwary reader. I have 
 perused several books of travels with great delight in my younger 
 days, but having since gone over most parts of the globe, and been 
 able to contradict many fabulous accounts from my own 
 observation, it has given me a great disgust against this part of 
 reading, and some indignation to see the credulity of mankind so 
 impudently abused. Therefore, since my acquaintance were 
 pleased to think my poor endeavours might not be unacceptable to 
 my country, I imposed on myself, as a maxim never to be swerved 
 from, that I would strictly adhere to truth, neither indeed can I be 
 ever under the least temptation to vary from it, while I retain in 
 my mind the lectures and example of my noble master and the 
 other illustrious HOUYHNHNMS of whom I had so long the 
 honour to be an humble hearer. 
 -NEC SI MISERUM FORTUNA SINONEM FINXIT, VANUM 
 ETIAM, MENDACEMQUE IMPROBA FINGET. 

 I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings 
 which require neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other 
 talent, except a good memory, or an exact journal. I know 
 likewise, that writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk. 
 into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who come last, and 
 therefore lie uppermost. And it is highly probable, that such 
 travellers, who shall hereafter visit the countries described in this 
 work of mine, may, by detecting my errors (if there be any), and 
 adding many new discoveries of their own, justle me out of 
 vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that ever I 
 was an author. This indeed would be too great a mortification, if I 
 wrote for fame: but as my sole intention was the public good, I 
 cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues 
 I have mentioned in the glorious HOUYHNHNMS, without being 
 ashamed of his own vices, when he considers himself as the 
 reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of 
 those remote nations where YAHOOS preside, among which the 
 least corrupted are the BROBDINGNAGIANS, whose wise 
 maxims in morality and government it would be our happiness to 
 observe. But I forbear descanting further, and rather leave the 
 judicious reader to his own remarks and application. 
 I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet 
 with no censurers: for what objections can be made against a 
 writer, who relates only plain facts, that happened in such distant 
 countries, where we have not the least interest, with respect either 
 to trade or negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with 
 which common writers of travels are often too justly charged. 
 Besides, I meddle not the least with any party, but write without 
 passion, prejudice, or ill-will against any man, or number of men, 
 whatsoever. I write for the noblest end, to inform and instruct 
 mankind, over whom I may, without breach of modesty, pretend 
 to some superiority, from the advantages I received by conversing. 
 so long among the most accomplished HOUYHNHNMS. I write 
 without any view to profit or praise. I never suffer a word to pass 
 that may look like reflection, or possibly give the least offence, 
 even to those who are most ready to take it. So that I hope I may 
 with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless, 
 against whom the tribes of Answerers, Considerers, Observers, 
 Reflectors, Detectors, Remarkers, will never be able to find matter 
 for exercising their talents. 
 I confess, it was whispered to me, 'that I was bound in duty, as a 
 subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of 
 state at my first coming over, because, whatever lands are 
 discovered by a subject belong to the crown.' But I doubt whether 
 our conquests in the countries I treat of would be as easy as those 
 of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans. The 
 LILLIPUTIANS, I think, are hardly worth the charge of a fleet 
 and army to reduce them, and I question whether it might be 
 prudent or safe to attempt the BROBDINGNAGIANS, or whether 
 an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying 
 Island over their heads. The HOUYHNHNMS indeed appear not 
 to be so well prepared for war, a science to which they are perfect 
 strangers, and especially against missive weapons. However, 
 supposing myself to be a minister of state, I could never give my 
 advice for invading them. Their prudence, unanimity, 
 unacquaintedness with fear, and their love of their country, would 
 amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twenty 
 thousand of them breaking into the midst of an European army, 
 confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the 
 warriors' faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder. 
 hoofs, for they would well deserve the character given to 
 Augustus, RECALCITRAT UNDIQUE TUTUS. But, instead of 
 proposals for conquering that magnanimous nation, I rather wish 
 they were in a capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficient number 
 of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first 
 principles of honour, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, 
 fortitude, chastity, friendship, benevolence, and fidelity. The 
 names of all which virtues are still retained among us in most 
 languages, and are to be met with in modern, as well as ancient 
 authors, which I am able to assert from my own small reading. 
 But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge 
 his majesty's dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had 
 conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of 
 princes upon those occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are 
 driven by a storm they know not whither, at length a boy 
 discovers land from the topmast, they go on shore to rob and 
 plunder, they see a harmless people, are entertained with 
 kindness, they give the country a new name, they take formal 
 possession of it for their king, they set up a rotten plank, or a 
 stone, for a memorial, they murder two or three dozen of the 
 natives, bring away a couple more, by force, for a sample, return 
 home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion 
 acquired with a title by divine right. Ships are sent with the first 
 opportunity, the natives driven out or destroyed, their princes 
 tortured to discover their gold, a free license given to all acts of 
 inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its. 
 inhabitants: and this execrable crew of butchers, employed in so 
 pious an expedition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and 
 civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people! 
 But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British 
 nation, who may be an example to the whole world for their 
 wisdom, care, and justice in planting colonies, their liberal 
 endowments for the advancement of religion and learning, their 
 choice of devout and able pastors to propagate Christianity, their 
 caution in stocking their provinces with people of sober lives and 
 conversations from this the mother kingdom, their strict regard to 
 the distribution of justice, in supplying the civil administration 
 through all their colonies with officers of the greatest abilities, 
 utter strangers to corruption, and, to crown all, by sending the 
 most vigilant and virtuous governors, who have no other views 
 than the happiness of the people over whom they preside, and the 
 honour of the king their master. 
 But as those countries which I have described do not appear to 
 have any desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or 
 driven out by colonies, nor abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or 
 tobacco, I did humbly conceive, they were by no means proper 
 objects of our zeal, our valour, or our interest. However, if those 
 whom it more concerns think fit to be of another opinion, I am 
 ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully called, that no European 
 did ever visit those countries before me. I mean, if the inhabitants 
 ought to be believed, unless a dispute may arise concerning the 
 two YAHOOS, said to have been seen many years ago upon a 
 mountain in HOUYHNHNMLAND.. 
 But, as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign's 
 name, it never came once into my thoughts, and if it had, yet, as 
 my affairs then stood, I should perhaps, in point of prudence and 
 self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity. 
 Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised 
 against me as a traveller, I here take a final leave of all my 
 courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my 
 little garden at Redriff, to apply those excellent lessons of virtue 
 which I learned among the HOUYHNHNMS, to instruct the 
 YAHOOS of my own family, is far as I shall find them docible 
 animals, to behold my figure often in a glass, and thus, if possible, 
 habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human creature, 
 to lament the brutality to HOUYHNHNMS in my own country, 
 but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of my 
 noble master, his family, his friends, and the whole 
 HOUYHNHNM race, whom these of ours have the honour to 
 resemble in all their lineaments, however their intellectuals came 
 to degenerate. 
 I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the 
 farthest end of a long table, and to answer (but with the utmost 
 brevity) the few questions I asked her. Yet, the smell of a YAHOO 
 continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped 
 with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves. And, although it be hard for 
 a man late in life to remove old habits, I am not altogether out of. 
 hopes, in some time, to suffer a neighbour YAHOO in my 
 company, without the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or 
 his claws. 
 My reconcilement to the YAHOO kind in general might not be so 
 difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only 
 which nature has entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at 
 the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a colonel, a fool, a lord, a 
 gamester, a politician, a whoremonger, a physician, an evidence, a 
 suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like, this is all according to 
 the due course of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity 
 and diseases, both in body and mind, smitten with pride, it 
 immediately breaks all the measures of my patience, neither shall 
 I be ever able to comprehend how such an animal, and such a 
 vice, could tally together. The wise and virtuous 
 HOUYHNHNMS, who abound in all excellences that can adorn a 
 rational creature, have no name for this vice in their language, 
 which has no terms to express any thing that is evil, except those 
 whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their YAHOOS, 
 among which they were not able to distinguish this of pride, for 
 want of thoroughly understanding human nature, as it shows itself 
 in other countries where that animal presides. But I, who had 
 more experience, could plainly observe some rudiments of it 
 among the wild YAHOOS. 
 But the HOUYHNHNMS, who live under the government of 
 reason, are no more proud of the good qualities they possess, than 
 I should be for not wanting a leg or an arm, which no man in his 
 wits would boast of, although he must be miserable without them.. 
 I dwell the longer upon this subject from the desire I have to make 
 the society of an English YAHOO by any means not 
 insupportable, and therefore I here entreat those who have any 
 tincture of this absurd vice, that they will not presume to come in 
 my sight. 



FOOTNOTES:


 (1) A stang is a pole or perch, sixteen feet and a half. 

 (2) An act of parliament has been since passed by which some 
 breaches of trust have been made capital. 

 (3) Britannia. -SIR W. SCOTT. 

 (4) London. -SIR W. SCOTT. 

 (5) This is the revised text adopted by Dr. Hawksworth (1766). 
 The above paragraph in the original editions (1726) takes another 
 form, commencing:-'I told him that should I happen to live in a 
 kingdom where lots were in vogue,' &c. The names Tribnia and 
 Langdon an not mentioned, and the 'close stool' and its 
 signification do not occur. 

 (6) This paragraph is not in the original editions.. 

 (7) The original editions and Hawksworth's have Rotherhith here, 
 though earlier in the work, Redriff is said to have been Gulliver's 
 home in England.